…to get a goddamned steak cooked medium-well? I swear to Christ, I can’t get a fucking slice of beef cooked right here anywhere. Next time I go out to dinner, I’m taking my own flip chart showing the “levels of doneness.” I’m not asking every place to be a damned Morton’s or anything, just to leave a very light strip of pink in the middle. If I can do it with my own limited cooking skills, surely people who cook dozens of steaks a day can manage it with something approaching consistency.

Every passing day reaffirms my complete lack of faith in the ability of the general populace to manage anything more complicated than breathing with any degree of accuracy.

I should have gone to grad school to be a hermit. I think I’d enjoy the lack of interaction.