What Annoys Jeff this Week?

1. Right wing absurdity. According to some subset of American religio-conservatives, Taylor Swift is the devil… or if not the actual devil, certainly in league with him as her songs are full of Christian imagery that “supports demonic lifestyles.” The Bible is the most published book in history. Christian imagery is literally everywhere – fiction, nonfiction, film, music. It’s impossible to escape. I’m not sure it’s so much about not liking Tay or her music as it is some people being uncomfortable that a strong, beautiful woman could buy and sell them 1000 times over and refuses to “stick to the script.” In my estimation we could use more of that rather than less. But then again, maybe I’m in league with the devil too, so buyer beware or whatever.

2. Ghosted again. Look, no one knows I’m hard to live with better than I do. I’m opinionated and set in my ways. I don’t know what the cool new restaurant is, and I don’t care. On any given day I’d much rather be home than wherever it is that people go these days. Living that life isn’t for everyone, I get it. But seriously, the ghosting is getting absurd. I should probably just stick with books and animals, because people are increasingly insufferable.

3. Maryland EZ Pass. Oh, hey, My Maryland EZ Pass billing is all screwed up again. This month, it decided that 2 of 5 trips across the Susquehanna should be billed against my tag instead of my EZ Pass. It’s only $16, but month in and month out there’s consistently a problem with the system. Instead of being seamless, EZ Pass takes constant time and effort to make sure I’m not getting swindled out of a couple of hundred dollars by the end of the year. I’m not entirely sure where the problem lies but it feels like a combination of raw incompetence and a blatant cash grab at the behest of the state of Maryland. In either case it’s just one of those problems that ought not to exist… but that’s assuming anyone with the ability to fix the problems actually gives a damn. That feels unlikely given how long the billing errors have persisted.

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

1. Tax return. The half a ream of paper I’m sending over to my accountant is an absolute absurdity. I have to think my taxes aren’t particularly complex. A W2, mortgage interest, some basic investments, and a few other random deductions to itemize… and yet it’s a stack of paperwork that I’m going to pay an expert hundreds of dollars to go over in hopes of being sure I haven’t gone astray of our Byzantine tax code. 

2. Smart tech. As I was sitting here on a day of the week I’m always scheduled in the office it got to be around 9:30 and I realized it had gotten cold as blue hell in the house. I’d utterly forgotten that I’ve got the thermostat set to lower the temperature after I should have left for the day. All the smart tech, from my phone to the thermostat didn’t realize or couldn’t react to the fact that I was, in fact, home when I’m normally not. It feels like by now this is something the “smart home” tech should be capable of sorting out before I get unnecessarily chilly.

3. Motor Vehicle Administration. So here we are, two months after buying my fancy new vehicle and four days until my second temporary registration expires. Why in seven hells it should take two months for the State of Maryland to process some paperwork so I can bolt license plates already in my possession to my own vehicle, I will never know… but here we are… again… with no end in sight. 

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

1. New glasses. The fancy new glasses I picked up two weeks ago suck. Well, they halfway suck anyway. The distance vision is crisp and clear, but the close in view might as well be trying to read a book or newspaper through a liberal coating of petroleum jelly. So far, I’ve been back to the doctor to confirm the prescription and back to the retailer to try having things adjusted. What’s “perfect vision” on their fancy machine just doesn’t seem to be translating into what ends up in the frames. Today, I had another check with a different doctor who feels confident he’s cracked the code to why they’re turning out wrong. Now it’s just a matter of waiting another 7-10 business days to see if the new and improved fix comes back right or if this devolves further into a farcical pain in the ass in the great tradition of 2023 being my year of all manner of medical fuckery.

2. EZ Pass. The one bill I review closely every month is the EZ Pass. It’s a rare month that goes by that I don’t find something wrong with it. This month’s problem was being charged for a Mercedes sedan going through the Ft. McHenry Tunnel with a tag similar to but clearly not the same as the one I have on the Tundra. It’s the kind of thing that’s easy enough to spot if you do any kind of quality control and look at the picture versus relying on whatever computer generated “decision” the vast EZ Pass data farm makes when determining what account to charge a photo toll against. But as usual, it’s the responsibility of the taxpayer to correct the issue rather than expecting the State of Maryland to get it right.

3. China. There are reports of a new illness circulating in China. Not that I want to be the harbinger of bad news, but the coverage I’ve seen so far feels awfully similar to what was getting published around late fall of 2019. It’s probably not the end of the world, but the thought of going through another pandemic when 30-40% of the country is absolutely committed to ignoring public health guidance out of spite just doesn’t feel like good times in the making. The Chinese government insists it’s just run of the mill cold weather illness cropping up… but while I wait and see, I’ll once again be stocking up on canned goods.

He’s no Baron Baltimore…

I like having divided government in Maryland. For the last eight years it restrained the Democrats who perennially control both the House of Delegates and the Senate from relentlessly raising taxes unchecked and launching new programs for every wild do-good idea that someone in PG or Montgomery County pitches to them. Those moderating tendencies are also what kept the whackjob MAGA wing of the Republican Party from taking over the state and installing a treason apologist in the governor’s office.

But here we are now with the Democratic Party controlling both houses of the General Assembly and the governor’s office. It feels like a sure bet that it’ll once again be the season to tax everything under the sun – up to and including the rain that falls upon our golden shores. Those revenues will inevitably flow towards the urbanized counties while western and southern Maryland and the Eastern Shore will be politely told to sit down, shut up, and keep our checkbooks out.

I agree with almost none of Wes Moore’s political philosophy. From taxation, to guns, to his “social justice” initiatives, our new governor will be carefully calibrated to hit all of the Democratic Party’s sweet spots. That’s a strong departure from former Governor Hogan, who regularly annoyed the extreme right wing of his own party while holding moderate policy positions across his tenure in office.

On his inauguration as 63rd Governor of Maryland (not inclusive of our great and illustrious proprietary and royal governors prior to 1776), I wish Mr. Moore joy of the day. I hope he leaves the state better when his term ends than it was when he found it… but I suspect what we’ll see is a growing tax burden, excessive and onerous legislation and regulation, and governmental policy designed more around making people feel good than achieving any objective real world goals.

Permitting…

I could go ahead and rant about everything what’s wrong with needing to get a permit to exercise a right specifically called out in the Bill of Rights, but the fact is it’s a restriction that exists and is unlikely to go away any time soon. Instead of focusing on that as the overarching issue, I’d like to comment on the absurdity of the permitting process itself. 

Let us assume for purposes of discussion that you are a holder of a permit to carry a concealed handgun in the state of Maryland. West Virginia does not require a permit, so there are no issues there. Your Maryland permit will cover you to walk into Virginia. The moment you walk into the other neighboring states of Delaware or Pennsylvania, though, you become an outlaw. Your Maryland permit does you no good there.

In order to get legal in Pennsylvania, you need to apply for a Pennsylvania non-resident permit, showing proof that your home state of Maryland has given you a permit, and then, of course, pay a fee. A few weeks later, if you’ve applied through a county that issues non-resident permits (not all of them do even though state law allows for it), they’ll call you to come pick up your card. It’s basically a cash grab by another name, but there’s no other way to get there from here. 

Delaware is a bit of a different animal. While they don’t recognize Maryland’s permit, they do recognize Utah’s permit. This means as a Maryland resident, what you’ll need to do to get legal in Delaware, is take a 4-hour class, send a picture, fingerprints, and (of course) another fee over to the great state of Utah and request that they issue a non-resident permit. As a Maryland resident who has never set foot in Utah, you’ll then be ok to carry your handgun into the great state of Delaware and a few other places not covered by Maryland’s permit.

If it seems like a logic defying patchwork arrangement, I suppose it is. And that’s likely by design. With three permits in your pocket – Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Utah – you can move about most of the country without running afoul of the law. I’ll just have to remember to stay out of New York, New Jersey, DC, Florida, parts of New England, and most of the west coast. That really shouldn’t be a problem. In the absence of adopting nationwide Constitutional carry, it really does feel like well past time there was some kind of national reciprocity to bring a degree of order to a decidedly disordered arrangement. As usual, I won’t hold my breath waiting for that to happen, so I’ll busy myself with satisfying the bureaucracy of at least three different states for the foreseeable future.

It’s not about your rights, it’s about their power…

Every time someone mentions requiring a formal system of voter identification, a hue and cry arises that it’s just people placing a structural and financial impediment in the way of someone exercising their rights under the Constitution. It’s all I can do not to laugh them out of the room when they roll out that old chestnut.

Let’s assume I’m a responsible adult with no criminal record who has never owned a firearm, but wants to purchase a handgun to protect my home and property. In order to exercise my rights under the Second Amendment, here’s a taste of the structural and financial hurdles the State of Maryland throws up between me and my rights.

To begin the process, I need to apply for the Maryland Handgun Qualification License (HQL). All told, the basic requirements involve paying a $50 application fee after completing a 4 hours course ($95) and submitting fingerprints ($65). Then I’ll wait for between 2-4 weeks while the state adjudicates my application. After that, I can go to a gun shop, purchase the handgun I want and wait an additional week or longer for that application to be reviewed by the state. This first hurdle involved a minimum of $210, 4 hours of class time, and 3-5 weeks of various waiting periods. Assuming everything is approved, I’ll then pay $20 every 10 years to renew my HQL. 

In order to take the next step and be approved to carry my handgun outside the home, I’d need to check off all the boxes to secure the Maryland Wear and Carry Permit. Submitting this application involves a $75 application fee, another set of fingerprints ($65), and a 16 hour class ($350). The state then has 90 days to review the application. The cost of meeting all the requirements for the wear and carry permit is $490, 16 hours of classroom time, and up to a 90 day wait. If successfully approved, the wear and carry permit in Maryland requires renewal after two years for the initial permit and three years for each subsequent renewal. There is a $50 renewal fee and 8 hour class ($125) for each renewal application. 

Without factoring in the additional costs of renewal or the cost of the actual gun, the all in cost to fully exercise your Second Amendment rights in Maryland involves $700 cash out of pocket, 20 hours in the classroom, and about 120 days of wait time. Talk about setting up financial and structural roadblocks.

So, you see, when they screech that the $24 fee for state issued photo identification that can be issued on the day it’s applied for is a roadblock to someone’s right to vote, I find that argument wildly unmoving… unless, of course, their argument really isn’t about helping people exercise their rights and more about maintaining institutionalized power among the political class. In that case, it makes perfect sense.

Maryland Republicans…

Yesterday, Marylanders went to the polls to vote in the state’s primary election. In a fit of absurdity, Maryland’s Republicans have voted to set up an election denying, insurrection supporting, Trumpist as their standard bearer for 2022.

In one of the most liberal states in the Union, this is who Maryland republicans have decided is their best hope to keep the governor’s mansion. Maybe it’s the kind of play that will work in Tennessee or one of the Dakotas, but it doesn’t carry water in Maryland. I can only assume Maryland Republicans have well and truly lost their collective minds. 

Running to the hard right is not how Republicans get elected to state-level office in Maryland. As much as I’ve never been in love with Larry Hogan, he was precisely the kind of moderate conservative that can get elected in this blue state. If nothing else, having a solid moderate governor helped mitigate the more wildly liberal impulses of a General Assembly that’s perennially controlled by Democrats. With a legislative branch that’s never met a tax, toll, or fee it didn’t like, that wasn’t nothing.

What Maryland Republicans have said with their vote is they’re more concerned with the Trumpian nightmare vision of Party Purity than in actually holding on to the governor’s office. As a result, come November, they’ll get a governor that will cheerfully go along with and lead the charge for whatever flurry of new taxes, regulations, and laws the Democratic legislature dreams up.

Maryland Republicans have made their wishes known… and I’m looking forward to November, when I’ll have the chance to vote against every single election denying, insurrection loving, Constitution loathing, anti-republican (small “r”) candidate they’ve saddled themselves with. Believe me when I say I’ll cast every one of those votes with a smile in my heart because the Constitution and this republic are not negotiable. 

Unaffiliated…

Since the face of the Republican Party today is Lauren Boebert and her wide-open orifice during the State of the Union Address, I’m extra pleased to announce that according to the confirmation email, I’m officially no longer a registered Republican on the voting rolls of Cecil County. 

With hucksters like Boebert, her fellow-traveler Marge Green, and leadership luminaries like Kevin McCarthy holding down the right wing of the House of Representatives, it’s hard to imagine a circumstance where I could ever find myself even nominally aligned with where the loud and obnoxious minority want to drag the party. 

It’s a pity that we’ve collectively lost the concept of having any sense of personal shame, because the behavior of Boebert and the other such sewer dwellers reflect nothing but shame on themselves, the institution they were elected to, and the nation as a whole. I know it’s hard to believe, but there are manifold ways to disagree without being a completely trash human being.

So, here’s to being politically homeless, or “unaffiliated” as Maryland is determined to call it. It’s far better than remaining unhappily in a party that seems to be determined to become that which it swore to destroy. 

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

1. Logging in. When I boot up my work computer in the morning, I have to log in using my access card and PIN. When I log into Outlook, I use my access card and PIN. One Drive? Access card and PIN. Teams. One more time, log in with access card and PIN. Just to start the day I have to log in using the same credentials four to five times depending what opens on startup. I’m sure there’s some important network security reason this is necessary, but it feels dumb and is 100% a daily irritant. 

2. Upgraded masks. For the last two years, I’ve survived plague free by 1) being vaccinated and boosted, 2) generally avoiding people as much as practical and 3) wearing a standard cloth face covering whenever I had to go into a questionable indoor environment. It hasn’t felt like all that big an ask. With the latest variant, word has gone out that it’s advised to switch over to more robust masks – primarily N95 or KN95 style respirators. That’s well and good, but I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money so far on various upgraded masks and a host of add on extenders, inserts, and other bits to get a better fit. So far, no combination of any of them has given me a mask that doesn’t immediately blow hot air around my nose and cheeks and turning my glasses into a solid wall of fog sitting on the end of my nose. Not falling victim to the Great Plague is important, but if I can’t be both maximally protected and fog-free, I’m going to have to err on the side of being able to see what the hell I’m doing when I need to leave the house.

3. Maryland’s Republican governor has proposed eliminating taxes on retirees as a means to discourage people from spending their working lives here and then immediately decamping for jurisdictions that don’t tax retirement income. For those who will face a potential tax bill from Maryland when they retire, it has to be a consideration. For instance, if you have the longevity to enjoy a 20-year retirement and the state reaches into your pocket to the tune of $4,000 a year, that’s upwards of $80,000 you’re leaving on the table for the convenience of not moving to a more tax friendly state. That’s not the kind of win the Democratic controlled general assembly will want to hand a popular Republican governor. Given Maryland’s historic love of raising taxes on its residents, it’s not the kind of thing they’d want to do if there the governor was a Democrat, either. I’m an unabashed lover of my native state, and I’d love to be able to make a plan to stay here along the shores of the Chesapeake forever, but unless our fearless leaders end up endorsing a plan like this, finances are all too likely to dictate otherwise when the time comes.  

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

1. Timing. The 76 billion cicadas camping in my back yard are fine – aside from the dogs wanting to eat all of them. I generally don’t get freaked out by bugs. Their early morning screeching is what I’d charitably describe as “troublesome.” It’s made my favorite pastime of sitting on the patio for an hour each morning with coffee and a good book decidedly unpleasant. I know they’re temporary, but the little bastards are stepping all over the last days of full-time working from home. That’s just exquisitely bad timing… and I hate them for that.

2. Eligibility requirements. Marylanders who received the COVID-19 vaccination are eligible for daily drawings for $40,000… unless you’re one of the Marylanders who got the “federal” vaccine instead of the state jab. That puts me out of the running. Would I have waited a few more weeks to get the vaccine if I knew I could win a sweepstakes? Maybe. I suppose the world will never know… but I want my damned money.

3. Good intentions. The people who control the Thrift Savings Plan, the federal government’s version of a 401(k) retirement plan are being pressured to make two significant changes to how the fund is managed. The first would see the TSP divest from fossil fuel securities, with an eye towards, supposedly, making the investment funds “environmentally conscious.” The second major change would be driven by proposed congressional legislation to prohibit TSP from investing an any company based in China. Maybe both of those are admirable objectives and people should feel free to target their own money in whatever fashion they want… but for the TSP in general, which bears the lion’s share of responsibility to secure federal employees’ retirement. Personally, I want fund managers laser focused on driving down costs and maximizing return on investment… while keeping the “good intentions” of socially crusading politicians as far away as humanly possible