As a rule, if you’re sitting in a 700-seat auditorium, you probably shouldn’t think of your conversations as privileged in any way. In fact I was doing my best to ignore everyone around me, as is my way. Sadly, some things are just too stupid not to stick with you long after you’ve punched out at the end of the day.

One of the distinctive features of the room we happened to be in this afternoon is a display of all 50 state flags. The guy sitting directly behind me casually mentioned to his friend that he didn’t understand the display as it must have “every flag every flown.”

“No dumbass, it’s the state flags of the country we’re, you know, sitting in right now,” I mumbled under my breath.

“That one must be UNC,” he said, I assume gesturing towards the powder blue flag of the State of South Dakota. By this point, I’m tempted to bash my head against the seat back in front of me. I’m pretty sure at some point, he was trying to figure out why Maryland’s flag included a “checkers board” motif.

Thank God for prompt start times, because the last thing I heard was a question about why we had the Australian flag in stage.

“And that would be Hawaii,” I muttered with enough oomph to make sure he heard me.

I know there’s now law about being utterly ignorant about the country you call home, but that doesn’t mean you should open your mouth and confirm to the world that you’ve been wasting oxygen for all these years.