To the asshat who decided playing mailbox baseball with my mailbox was a good idea this morning, please consider yourself on notice. There’s a better than average chance that I’m older than you are. That translates into me being smarter, sneakier, and far, far more vindictive than you could possibly imagine. The first one was a freebie. Everything’s reattached, no harm, no foul. If I have to put it up a second time, I’ll be suspending my mail delivery and filling the box with concrete so that you’ll get that nice tingling feeling when you make contact. If I get lucky you’ll snap your wrist on it. If you think I won’t spend all night outside in the cold lurking in the shadows to find out who you are, well, then you’ve seriously underestimated your opponent. You shouldn’t be surprised if your car accidentally ends up sitting on the street somewhere in Camden, NJ.

Regards,

Jeff