Category Archives: Dogs

Escape artist…

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When I got Winston, I was able to basically leave him in a pen in the kitchen secure in the knowledge that he wasn’t able to get out. This arrangement worked until he was about five months old and the random peeing on the floor had stopped. After that, the baby gates at the kitchen doors were good enough to keep him contained whenever it was necessary. Silly me, I assumed that the same general procedures would work for Maggie too. Yeah, assumptions apparently will get you in trouble.

Maggie stayed in the pen for a grand total of 36 hours before she discovered that she could climb over it. Of course I didn’t discover this until I noticed that she was sitting with Winston in the middle of the kitchen floor. No problem, I thought, I’ll just have to start leaving her in the wire kennel when I’m out of the room. Having come up with my new plan of attack, I left her in the kennel when I went to get a shower this morning. Apparently, Winston figured out how to spring his little sister from the outside because once again, she was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor when I came back.

So now she’s in the big plastic travel kennel and neither of them seem to have figured out how to break the code on that one yet, but it seems as if it’s only a matter of time before the escape artist strikes again.

Maggie…

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Yes, the rumors are true… I brought home an adorable female chocolate lab puppy on Tuesday night. As you might expect, there’s a somewhat involved story about how I came to be a single father of two and it all starts off with a sign. No, not a burning bush kind of sign, the 8 by 11 inch computer printed version that end up on bulletin boards at work…

Tuesday was my first day back in the office after my month-long hiatus and one of the first things I noticed was a sign advertising “free” full blooded Labradors. I must have made a comment about things that sound too good to be true usually being untrue because one of my coworkers piped up quickly that it was the real deal and she had taken hers home the night before. As it turns out a family ended up with an “accidental” litter and their efforts to sell them and to give them away to friends and neighbors had failed. Mom died while giving birth to the litter of nine and they had been hand raised for the last eight weeks. According to the owners, the herd was eating three 50 pound bags of food a week and was driving them on the fast track to the poorhouse. The bottom line, apparently, was that if they weren’t gone by the end of the week, they would be going to the pound.

I had been toying with the idea of another dog mainly as a buddy for Winston while I was at the office and had more or less made up my mind that I’d do it after the holidays. Of course sometimes, you just have to embrace the opportunities that are given to you and I pulled the trigger, calling the owners and asking for the only chocolate-colored pup in the litter. Unfortunately, she had already been spoken for by someone a few offices down. I had really hoped to get the chocolate, but made up my mind that black was fine too and told her than I’d be over after work. Ultimately, the individual who made first claim decided that three dogs was probably too many for her and backed out. Since I was first out the door, I had pick of the litter at that point and ended up bringing Maggie home.

It’s a little earlier than planned, but I was able to give a beautiful little pup a warm home and a big brother so for the time being it’s back to semi-sleepless nights for me. Still, though, I’m a happy camper and I think the kids are too.

Eunuch…

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Winston had his big visit with the vet today and after talking to someone from their office a few minutes ago, it looks like the procedure went well and he came out of anesthesia nicely; always a concern for our stubby-nosed little friends. They want to keep an eye on him for another couple of hours, but I can bring him home after 4:00. The doc assured me that he’s getting lots of love and attention from the staff there. The interns seem to have taken to him, so I suppose he’s in good hands. Now I just have to worry about having him home in my paranoid incompetent ones.

Petsmart…

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So if you ever find yourself needed a couple of dozen new friends, I highly recommend throwing a 6 month old bulldog in the truck and taking him to Petsmart. It’s like people come out of the frigging woodwork to come over and check him out. Being the ham that he is, Winston of course enjoyed every minute of it… racks of toys, a nice cool floor to lay on, and lots of attention. Life doesn’t get any better, right?

Destructo…

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What the hell is it about dogs that gives them desire to destroy anything at eye level? I mean you send the little bastards to school and they eat the books… Or in this case the better part of a kitchen chair. In a room full of items they’re supposed to chew on like nylabones, squeaky ducks, rope knots, and a bevy of other things in assorted peanut butter, liver, and chicken flavors, why go after the large wooden object that I can only assume tastes like wood? For the most part Destructo has been reasonably well mannered (except for the ongoing obsession with hands), but after Sunday’s little exercise in woodworking, I’ve had to clip his wings. Being at the top of the food chain, sometimes I really wonder why we tolerate animals living in the house.

One sick puppy…

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Winston has been having a bad 24 hours. He woke up yesterday and seemed fine until I took him outside for my first cup of coffee and his morning constitutional. Yeah, that’s when my little fuzzy buddy became my own personal poop cannon. Not to be too graphic at this early hour, but he was getting some distance on that stuff. Repeat that every three hours or so through the early evening and you end up with one very obsessive Jeff… So, off we go to the open-all-weekend vet that my regular doc recommends. The official diagnosis was “We dunno – Sometimes it just happens.”

With my slight tendencies towards being a control freak and near-terminal need to resolve problems, this was not a terribly satisfying answer. On the up side, they gave my boy a shot of some kind and some pills that are supposed to help get the little fella’s stomach straightened out. So far this morning he seems to be doing pretty well… a little food, a little cottage cheese, and no explosive diarrhea. Fortunately I was already going to be home most of the day today, so we’ll see how it goes.

Puppy paranoia…

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So, at a few days shy of 5 months old, Winston is at that pesky age where he’s gotten fairly consistent at not peeing on the floor in the kitchen, but not quite as reliable anywhere else in the house. One of the delicate balancing acts I’ve had to learn is that between trying to have quality time with the pup, but still actually getting things done when I can’t keep him in direct line of site. I still don’t feel like I’ve struck much of a balance on that note. So, I either feel guilty of keeping the little fuzzy bastard in his exercise pen in the kitchen or feel guilty because I’m not getting something done around the house… like keeping up with blogging or actually cleaning the bathrooms.

I guess I’m always a bit concerned that I’m just not doing it right… Of course I know I’m probably just suffering from a serious case of paranoia. At the end of the day he’s getting quality food and lots of attention, first class medical care, and doesn’t belong to Mike Vick… so I guess I’ll just have to count on the resilient ability of dogs to adapt to their circumstances.

Better than me…

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Well, we can add another item to the list of things a hick from the sticks of Western Maryland never thought he would be doing. I just bought pet insurance for Winston. At $480 a year and a 70% reimbursement, this shit is actually better than my own insurance from Uncle. With medical care for pets coming close to what we provide to humans, insurance just seemed to make sense. My vet has access to an MRI… so you know she’s gonna order a few runs through that to take care of the overhead expenses. The good news is that all of the major bulldog hereditary diseases are covered by this policy and since they tend to be sick little buggers over their lifetime, a few dollars invested up front seemed to be a good idea… Yes April, I know I could have found a less problematic dog, but bullies are just so damned cute!

Now if I can just get off my duff and start interviewing cleaning services, I’ll feel about half squared away.

Pee…

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A full day at work and there was no pee on the floor when I got home this afternoon. I know it’s impossible to identify a trend with only one data point, but God, I hope this is the beginning of one. It’s amazing the things you get excited about when you’ve got a puppy in the house. The small victories feel like major milestones.

Commands they don’t teach…

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So, we’re doing pretty well with the basic commands like sit and down and even making a little progress on the all important stay. I’ve been doing my research and can’t come up with a way to teach the one command that I really need. With the puppy biting and chewing on anything that comes in proximity to his mouth the one command I really want to be use is “stop being an asshole.”

That’s right. I said it. I want the single all purpose command that stops everything cold. No luck in finding it yet, but you can damned well believe that I’ll keep working on it… Especially when my hand becomes a wonderfully human-flavored interactive chew toy.