A lack of ranting and raving here is generally a sign that most is right with the world. Or more specifically that I’ve managed to avoid the masses and the raft of stupid they bring along with them. With that being said, I think it’s time to consider rejiggering the holiday calendar. I mean why celebrate Christmas in the middle of the bloody winter? It’s dark, cold, and there is every chance that you’ll find yourself snowed-in-place at any given moment. For a holiday that involves painfully detailed travel plans, wouldn’t it make more sense to schedule this type of event say in August when the days are long and low temperatures don’t plunge into the single digits? The church has moved things around on the calendar for years and for far lesser reasons. Surely no one really believes that an actual man named Jesus was born exactly on December 25th in the year zero (yes, I realize there was technically no year 0). And for the record, there was no concept of the Gregorian calendar at that point, so fixing the big day at the end of December seems to be speculative at best… So really there’s no reason not to get on the move-Christmas-to-a-warmer-month bandwagon. Join me, won’t you?
Category Archives: Life
Cracking the century mark…
I just crossed over the 100-resumes-sent-out mark – an occasion made even more auspicious because I’m only a few hours away from punching out for two weeks of Christmas vacation. So really, my quest to get out of this madding reality will be suspended until after the new year, because, well, I will be out… even if it’s only temporary. Temporary is way, way better than nothing. Getting myself to a place where the hardest decision I need to make involves whether the ham sandwich should have mustard or mayonnaise seems to be one of the few ideas I can get behind lately with my full-throated support.
This will be the first trip of any length I’ve tried since I stopped sleeping like normal people. It’s also the first trip since I started drinking every bottle of water, soda, or Gatorade in site. I’m not all sure how this combination is going to work out other than almost guaranteeing that I won’t be setting a personal speed record for this trip. I just hope I can avoid making a pit stop every two hours. That would turn what’s already a tough drive into just about intolerable. One thing’s for certain, though… come hell or high water, I’m heading east and soon, with all the speed I can muster.
300…
Under other circumstances, I’d trot out something pithy and do my best to make a big deal out of hitting my 300th post. In fairness, that’s not not just here at http://www.jeffreytharp.com, but also includes posts I had made over at Blogger. It doesn’t include the now archived posts from long ago Myspace blog. There were probably another 200 of those, but we’re sticking with the “serious” work I’ve down in the past couple of years for purposes of counting.
Actually, 300 doesn’t seem like that many until you really sit doen and think about what goes into writing even one of these short bits – It’s a minimum half hour and climbs north of an hour for one of the more epic rants, so lets say all told it’s taken something more than 150 hours. Still not impressed? Sit down at your trusty keyboard and write nonstop for six days and then tell me what 150 hours feels like. Sure, they’re not all award winners by any stretch, but it’s a pretty impressive record of what’s been going on and the things that have caught my attention over the last three or four years. It’s no Gutenberg Bible or anything, but I’m mighty proud of alot of what’s been said here. At some point we should get back into a grove where the content writes itself. We’ll reevaluate at post 600.
Goo…
If there was ever a good reason for writer’s block, I’d have to make the argument that your brain slowly turning to goo is probably one of them. I’m on day 6478 of not getting a full night’s sleep. Well, maybe it’s more like day 10, but it feels like 6478. Any ability to pay attention to details that I ever had is slipping away… and between the hours of 2 and 4 PM, forget it. Those are the hours when the most demanding thing I can manage to do is stay awake.
It could be worse I suppose. At least I can get back to sleep quickly, but 3-5 interruptions in six hours seems excessive. I’ve got a doctors appointment on Tuesday where I’m sure he’ll tell me he’s not quite sure and want to pull samples, run test, and gets a pile of scans of one thing or another. What I’m not expecting is a solution to my little problem. I don’t think I’ll be sleeping any better Wednesday night than I did last night or than I will tonight… But that’s what I want to expect.
I want better living (sleeping) through chemistry, damnit, and I want it now! But I don’t want the pesky sleepwalking or operating heavy equipment side effects. And I don’t want to be groggy when I wake up. I’m looking at you medical science. You need to fix this in a damned hurry and get me back to some semblance of normalcy. Clock starts Wednesday 10:00. I’ll be waiting.
Yelp…
I’ve been noticing more often that things that didn’t use to happen, are happening. I never had the misconception that I was indestructible, but for the most part injuries followed the pattern of a) get hurt and b) feel better a day or two later. It seems that part a is more frequent and part b is now taking longer than it should. We’re going to set aside the week long case of insomnia I’ve been laboring under and focus just on the physical issues at hand. Like Thursday and Friday, when my wrist ached steadily the more I typed (and I spend alot of time typing). Sunday I pulled something in my foot (thanks, of course, to one or more of the dogs) and that’s still a pain point when I step anything more than gingerly. This morning, I woke up with the frustrating inability to raise my left arm above my shoulder without being rewarded for my efforts with stabbing pain. That’s not something you want to learn at 0435, especially when your morning routine involves shaving your head, which, by definition resides above shoulder height. It tends to lead to a yelp of distress that no one enjoys at that hour. I’m not talking about debilitating pain here, but it seems that at the ripe old age of 32, I should be able to function in daily life without feeling like I’m falling apart.
Is this really what there is to look forward to for the next 30-40 years? If so, all I can say is not cool. Not cool at all. Well, that and it might be a good idea to buy stock in companies that make pain relievers. Who knows what bit or piece is going to feel like rebelling next.
Last three…
For the last three nights I’ve woken up like clockwork at 12:00, 2:00, and 4:00 AM. That’s all well and good except when you’re actually shooting to get up at 4:15. It basically leads to a complete lack of attention, sluggish reaction, and the ability to be annoyed by literally any and everything. For the record, I don’t recommend it. If I don’t manage to get some sleep tonight, there’s a very real possibility that by this time tomorrow I’ll quite simply be mad.
Putzing around…
The holiday season is a tough one for blogging. Usually I can find more than enough people doing dumb things to keep me entertained and to keep the posts flowing. Since I’ve been making an effort to avoid the people and places that tend to send my blood pressure through the roof (read: everyone and everywhere), I can actually report that Thanksgiving was completely uneventful. I managed to whip up a tasty enough meal, I played with the dogs, and Lord knows the Xbox filled several hours of otherwise unproductive time.
After two four day weekends in three weeks, I think I’m safe to say that four days seems to be just a bit too long when you’re planning on just putzing around the house. It’s fine when you’re going somewhere, of course, but just knocking around and doing the usual, I think a three day weekend is probably about perfect. It’s different enough to feel like a departure from the routine, but not so long that I end up wandering around the house looking for odds and ends to do… for the record, those odds and ends don’t include cleaning bathrooms or the stove, apparently, so those still need to get worked into the schedule at some point.
So, yeah. This post has served only as an update because it’s been four days since my last post. Any interesting discussion was purely accidental. If nothing else, hopefully it has help keep my chops up for the time when I might have something pointed to mention. It’s hard to tell just now, but it’s possible that things are about to get interesting.
By the numbers…
For those keeping track at home, we are now sitting at version 18 of the PowerPoint from Hell and at 67 for the total number of resumes released “to the wild.” If it seems that the number of resumes flying out the door is directly proportional to the increasing version number of the PowerPoint, you get a gold star. The more ridiculous things get, the greater my motivation to be anywhere that offers a reduced daily ration of stupid and the less I worry about small details like technical qualifications for the positions in question. In the government, big numbers are generally the ones that pay off. While it dramatically increases the chances of getting a “no,” it incrementally increases my changes of finding that golden ticket. With enough incremental increases over time… well, you can see where I’m going with this.
In this one rare case, I’m a confirmed optimist… because I have to be. The status quo is plainly unacceptable.
Let it ring…
On every cell phone produced in the last decade, there’s a switch, or a button, or a setting that allows you move almost effortlessly between notification modes – Silent, vibrate, or loud full blown dance party ring. If you work room full of cubicles with 20 other people and want to use your cellie while you’re there, you might want to consider trying out either the silent or vibrate options so thoughtfully build in to your phone. I can assure you in no uncertain terms that the laughing you hear on the other side of the wall every time your phone rings is me – and a combination of disbelief that you don’t see anything wrong with just letting it ring at any time and the fact that it takes you as much as 10 seconds to answer it once it starts ringing (yes, I’ve timed it).
Look, I’m the last person on earth to tell someone they shouldn’t be using a cell phone at every possible opportunity. I’m practically obsessed with mine. A little discretion, though, goes a long way and won’t take any additional effort on your part. I’m pretty sure that’s important to you. So how about doing us all a favor and checking out that vibrate function, ok? There are plenty of things to mock in the workplace without this needing to be one of them. Thanks bunches!
47
Usually the arrival of the holiday season leads to some of the better posts around here, but at the moment the creative juices are mostly blocked. It’s a function of distraction more than anything else. The creative juices should start flowing freely again as soon as the current untenable position gets resolved. Even in the event that no resolution is forthcoming, I’m cautiously optimistic that the sheer weight of human stupidity on display during the holidays will be enough to get me over this latest hump. Once that sweet, sweet day of resolution comes, though, I have a feeling that you’ll know it because you won’t be able to stop the flow of new posts.
For those keeping track at home, the statistics are currently: 47 resumes submitted, 15 flat rejections, 1 referral, and 0 interviews. I’m drawing in the law of large numbers and to paraphrase Grant, I intend to fight on this line if it takes all Winter.
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