Category Archives: Religion

Teddy Bears and Civilization…

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It’s taken me a while to decided if I actually wanted to wade into this discussion or not. In Sudan, a British subject is under indictment for allowing her elementary school-aged students to name a stuffed bear “Mohammed.” I’m not going to argue that it was in good taste, but I don’t know that it rises to the level where a lashing and expulsion from the country is necessarily a proportional response, either. Is it offensive? Yep, sure is. If they had named the bear in question Jesus or Jehova, would it be offensive to other religious groups? Yes. But the difference here is that you’re not likely to see the United Methodist Church or the Southern Baptists call for publicly beating the individual.

You know, I’m sorry that you’re offended by what this lady said or did, but when were any of us promised that we were going to be able to make it through the day without being offended? The world’s a mean place, so I recommend you suck it up, cupcake. Act like you’ve got a pair and stop bitching like the kid who just dropped his ice cream cone. The rest of the world may hate us, but I’m comforted by the fact that there’s a big hunk of them that are at least as ate up as we are.

In the flesh…

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So when things get a little loud and obnoxious in the office, I usually whip out my headphones and listen to the streaming audio from WJFK in DC. Well, I was listening to Don & Mike on Wednesday and caught the tail end of one of those annoying “messages” that a local church buys. The bit I actually caught was “… we believe Jesus was the son of God wrapped in human flesh… Not a sermon, just a thought.”

For the record, if you are trying to market your deity, it may be a good idea to keep down the “wrapped in human flesh” imagery. I’m just not sure you thought that phrase through all the way. Am I missing something here, or does this have a very high “skeeve” factor?

Door-to-door…

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It’s the worst kept secret in the world that organized religion and I have a general difference of opinion. I don’t have any problem with folks who embrace religion, I’m just not one of them. If I would have been interested in finding a church, or Jesus, or whatever it was I was supposed to be looking for, I would have done it by now. What I don’t need is a van-full of Baptists showing up in my driveway when I’m trying to tend to the yard – yes, I fired Paco and his lawn service, by the way… That’s a story that involves scalping the lawn and chopping the shit out of downspouts with a weedwacker, but I digress. I’m sweaty, the sprinklers are running, and I’m holding a shovel. If you’re pulling into my driveway, this is a sign that it may not be the best time to stop for a chat… especially if I don’t know you. Because quite frankly, I’m not thinking about my immortal soul at the point… I’m mentally calculating how many of you I can take out with the pointy end of a shovel before you get me… This is Memphis after all.

With that being said, don’t peddle your church door-to-door. It’s annoying. And really, assuming God really is all knowing and all powerful, He doesn’t need to be sold like encyclopedias or vacuum cleaners. That’s just tacky.