Logic doesn’t live here…

I’ve been doing this long enough now that I’m always a little surprised when something is ridiculous enough to shock me. That’s why I could only smirk when someone came by and asked me if I was going to training this morning. After explaining that I had just taken that training last month, my esteemed colleague looked around nervously before explaining that last month’s training covered me only for last fiscal year. This month’s training was required to cover me for the current fiscal year. By some fluke of scheduling it was just pure chance that the exact same class happened to get scheduled in back to back months.

Some people would find this odd, perhaps, but I’ve been a cog in Uncle’s machine long enough to know when I won’t get ahead by asking any more questions. This morning was one of those times and I dutifully went to the auditorium so they could update my now 42 day old certification. The snores coming from the guy beside me and the one two rows over fed into my hunch that I wasn’t the only one sitting here for the second time in as many months. Like the good troopers we are, we checked the box and hopefully won’t see this class for another 13 months.

So much for a productive morning.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Know how…

Apparently it’s important to the war effort that I learn how to build a website. Well, “build” might be a bit of a stretch. What I’m “learning” to do is slid pre-scripted widgets around on a pre-approved layout with complete freedom to select border colors and add italics where appropriate. So you can all disabuse yourselves of the notion of me slaving feverishly to churn out fully developed Flash or HTML. What I’m doing is the paint-by-numbers version of website construction. Paint-by-number is fine and certainly has a place, but alot of headaches could have been avoided if someone would have asked me first if I had any experience doing that kind of work. I’m fairly sure putzing around with SharePoint for the last four years, managing a couple of blogs, knowing how to log into Facebook, and being willing to play around with tech until I figure out how to make it work would have probably been sufficient training. Of course none of that comes with a certificate, so it represents unofficial know how. And we certainly wouldn’t want to turn unofficial know how loose on an official network. No good could come from that. Besides, by this time tomorrow I’ll have a fancy new certificate. So there.