Things I Learned from Dad…

1. No matter how prepared you think you are, the project you’re working on is going to require more than one trip to the hardware store.

2. Blue cheese dressing is really, really tasty.

3. I can say anything I want to about my family… but woe be unto the outsider who looks at one of them cross-eyed.

4. It’s important to know how to change your own motor oil.

5. When you’re family, distance doesn’t matter.

6. More often than not, the best thing you can do is stay home.

7. I’d rather spend a day with my animals than most people I know.

8. In the summertime, a whole tomato is a perfectly acceptable lunch option.

9. Sometimes the truth hurts, but hurt fades and truth remains.

10. The things you look back on most fondly are usually the moments that didn’t seem that extraordinary at the time.

Father’s Day is usually the time when we build a laundry list of superlatives about our male parental unit. That’s a temptation I’m going out of my way to resist. The relationship between fathers and sons far too complex to distill into generic terms like “best” or “greatest.” God knows there were some rough patches over the years and we both had some culpability there, but we’ve probably got a better and more healthy relationship now than we ever had when we were living under the same roof. Some sons go through their entire lives with a father who’s little more than a genetic donor. For up and down, good and bad, I’ve had a dad. That’s pretty much a jackpot.

Not all bad…

It’s obvious by now that I do a fair amount of complaining here and that alot of that complaining is about my job in one way or another. Maybe it’s not the most productive use of time, but It’s a good way from keeping me from going ’round the bend and actually giving voice to these thoughts in the office. Who knows, maybe in a virtual world the difference between what I say here and what I say there doesn’t matter all that much. In fairness I have to admit, though, that despite the complaints, the job does have it’s perks. The fact that federal holidays are all actual holidays is a definite plus. The fact that between annual leave and several varieties of comp time, I’ve got what some would consider a disturbing amount of time off I need to schedule between now and the first week of January is another one. It means that sometimes on a Thursday afternoon before a three-day weekend, I can decide that a four-day weekend would be better. Sure, you’re technically supposed to schedule leave two weeks in advance, but since Uncle operates with a skeleton crew on such Fridays, as long as at least one person is sticking around to answer the phone, most spur of the moment requests are approved as a matter of course.

So now I’m off to start my newly extended weekend… by crawling into bed at 9:30 just like it was any other Thursday. Just call me Mr. Excitement.

Quality vs. Quantity

Family time is a good thing. It’s especially good when you live 900 miles away and don’t get to see them as often as you’d like. The trouble is balancing quality time versus quantity time, particularly when you’re use to living alone and doing everything on your own schedule. I love my family dearly, but I think I’ve reached that tipping point where the best thing to do is get out on my own for a little while, decompress from the just-passed holiday and unwind a bit. Now to find a place in Allegany County that knows how to make a rum punch.

You’re not that festive…

In the last two weeks I’ve probably seen two or three dozen cars with antlers sticking out their windows and red tennis balls wired to their grills. I know opinions are like certain anatomical regions, but really those don’t make you or your car look festive. They make you look like a giant asshat. How on earth did you look at those in the store and think “Hey, that would be a good idea?” One more reason to question the health on western civilization.

Big plans…

The last working day of the week is wrapped up and I’m looking forward to my favorite food holiday of the year and seven days of basically having nothing that I really have to do. Of course there’s plenty that actually needs done and I’ll probably even do some of them, but hanging out at the house is exactly what I’m looking forward to doing. For now, I’ll sit here happy in the knowledge that I can be as unreachable as I want to be for the next week. The last semblance of “must do” activities is picking up the turkey from Honeybaked tomorrow evening. After that, it’s mainly about hanging around the kitchen and playing gopher while the cook is hard at work on the rest of the meal. How’s that for good times?

My Christmas Wish…

Just once. Just one time in my life, I would like to not begin Christmas on the 24th of frigging November. I’m serious here people. There is no good reason for Christmas music coming out of every speaker in a building at this point. I mean, I don’t start playing Sousa marches on the 3rd of June do I?

Arrrgghhh… Pardon me, while I go beat myself about the head and neck with a blunt instrument.

Thank you…

Special thanks and much gratitude to the men and women serving in uniform today, their predecessors who stood watch before them, and countless American heroes who gave the last full measure of devotion for the ideal that a Republic could endure the shoals of history’s stormy seas. You are and have been our protectors. May your long vigil on far off shores bring us peace.

Columbus Day…

You know what? Chris Columbus wasn’t perfect. He did some bad things. He also had the courage to climb aboard a hundred foot wooden ship and sail 2500 miles into an ocean that was more or less uncharted. Looking for a trade route to the Indies, he landed in the Americas and opened two continents to further exploration and began the largest age of migration in all of human history.

I’ve watched a number of reports this morning condemning Columbus as a genocidal maniac and all I can do is shake my head in frustration. I will never understand why educated people insist on applying 21st century morality to 15th century actions. Of course if we “discovered” an unknown continent tomorrow, we wouldn’t approach it the same way that Columbus did in the 1490s. We wouldn’t approach it the same way the Great Powers of Europe approached Africa in the 19th century, either. We would approach it using our best judgment based on 21st century understanding of peoples and our “improved” sense of morality. And 500 years from now, we would probably be criticized for our actions because they were not how those “future” observers would handle the situation.

Columbus is roundly criticized because he “didn’t even know he was in America.” Of course he didn’t know he was in America (aside from the continents actually not being called America at that point). Up until that point, perhaps a relative handful of Europeans had ever set foot on the continent and most of those did so in the extreme north. There were no accurate maps, no global positioning systems, and actually no way to even accurately establish longitude. And still, for God and glory, Columbus captained three fragile ships to a new world.

I won’t become an apologist for history. The history is what it is. Actions were not all good, nor all bad. They simply are what was done at the time. While Columbus legacy is clearly “mixed,” I have no qualms about celebrating him as an iconic figure in our history.