Master of PowerPoint…

In my agency, if you can open a PowerPoint presentation, change the master background, and really do anything more than straight bulleted text, you’re designated a PowerPoint Ranger and subject to 24-hour on call status for emergency slide making. Like today. When the boss realized an hour before a meeting that’s been on the schedule for six weeks that he hadn’t made any slides. Of course it’s not an official meeting if there are no slides, so slides we must have.

Here’s a snippet of conversation the followed the boss’ panicked rush to my desk:

A COLLEAGUE *sarcastically*: Did he just ask you for a batch of slides from the Civil War, the Spanish-American War, and our agency’s role in the invasion of Normandy?

ME: Pretty much, yes.

It’s PowerPoint. We’re not building nuclear-effing-weapons here (seriously, we’re not). Tell me, please, please tell me that I’m not the only person in the building who can consolidate 40 slides built for six different meetings over a period of 18 months into a 10 slide set, set them on a light blue background, add animation, embed video, and link documents that are available on our archive drive to open when you click the key word? Oh. Wait. Apparently I am.

I earned my undergraduate degree with honors. I made a 3.6 in my MBA program while working full time. I can’t tell you how glad to see six years of college education, ten years of professional experience and generous pay and benefits package being put to good use.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Right back where we started from…

I’m due back in DC on Friday to sit in on a 45 minute briefing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to feel wanted, needed even, but shuttling back and forth between Memphis and the capital of the free world is a little wearing. It’s not so much the flight itself, as that is only a quick two hours and barely enough time to serve drinks, but the two hour ordeal that is checking in and waiting to board, playing Russian roulette with your luggage, and the hour ride back to where you are staying that makes it something to be avoid whenever possible. I’m sure there was a time when travel like this was fun, and maybe it would be if it were for purely personal reasons, but there’s something about working all day, dashing to catch the last flight out, and then needing to show up at 6:30 the next morning looking well rested and put together that makes you wonder.

I could even almost justify it in my own mind if the pain and agony were for something more than 45 minutes. I stopped wondering why the government is in hock up to its eyeballs a long time ago… know what I mean?