Tag Archives: Metro

More problem than solution…

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This past Saturday, Twitter was determined to serve me tweets from people saying things like “I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t rather use public transportation than deal with their own car.”

I suspect people who say things like this have never lived outside the ring road of a major city or god forbid in a truly rural area, where cars are literally freedom of movement from one place to another or indispensable equipment serving farms, ranches, or homeowner needs. Just try getting on the bus or subway with 500 pounds of horse feed or a ton or mulch.

I don’t have particularly fond memories of my time riding the DC metro five days a week. Maybe that comes from the time my Blackberry got stolen or maybe it’s just the general unpleasantness of dealing daily with panhandlers, delays, track service, oppressive summer body odor, and constantly arriving five to ten blocks away from wherever I really needed to go. By contrast, my personally owned vehicle generally gets me anywhere between 10-100 yards from my destination… and in all my years of driving, I’ve never had the person sitting in the seat next to me shit themselves. Can’t say that about being on the Metro.

I mean people should obviously feel free to take whatever combination of Uber, buses, trains, and subways gets you from here to there, but I’d be hard pressed to think of a time I’d have rather used any one of those means of transportation than my own vehicle. The people who think public transportation is the One True Way are every bit as out of touch with reality anywhere beyond their echo chamber as any other band of fanatical, myopic “problem solvers.”

If you’re so caught up in your one size fits all solution that you can’t see any other possible alternative, I promise that you’re more a part of the problem than you’ll ever be part of the solution.

The thing I miss least…

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Now and then I post about things I miss about working in DC. Today I was reminded about one of the great big hairy things that I don’t miss – trying to fight my way into and out of the city when the work day coincides with a major event or demonstration on the National Mall. Whether it’s a march on the Capitol or a memorial dedication, there’s nothing worse than being some schlub just trying to get to the office when there are roads closed all over town and hippies are packed into metro like sardines. When you’re just a guy trying to make a buck, thirty minutes of ye olde protest songs sung in an enclosed space and people dragging train cars full of kids to “see something historic” really just have a way of getting under your skin. Don’t get me started on the douchebaggery of not knowing you should walk to the left and stand to the right.

From those of us whose time in commuter hell is complete, all I can say is good luck and Godspeed you brave suburban voyagers. May your travels tomorrow not end in chaos and gridlock. If you can’t have that, at least try to remember it’s technically illegal to jump the curb, drive down the sidewalk, and run over the tourists. Sometimes staying out of jail is as much of a victory as you can expect.

A rant on rails…

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I’ve never tried to run a railroad, but I love things that are organized, so I think I could make a pretty good show if it. Unfortunately, the people at Metro (who have been running a sort of “mini-railroad” for the better part of 30 years) seem to either have an intense hatred for organization or are simply incompetent. This, however, isn’t a rant specifically aimed at Metro’s leadership. Rather it is a rant pointed directly at the asshats who are my fellow riders.

The Green Line was delayed this afternoon due to some maintenance fuck-up down the track and as a result, trains were packed to capacity. Yet every time one pulled into the station, the great unwashed sea of humanity surged forward in an effort to cram themselves onto the already full cars… If you are getting the image of salmon leaping over themselves on their way up the rapids to their ancestral spawning grounds, you’re getting the right idea.

I’m never quite sure what thought goes through someone’s head when they think they are going to fit in the several inches of space between people already standing on the train. They apparently look in the mirror and have some sort of interesting disorder… their body image and the real world are completely at odds. I may be a pasty, white widebody, but I have enough of a concept of my own general dimensions to realize I am not going to fit in the 6-inch gap between some guys left shoulder and the door. Sometimes I wonder what actually goes on in people’s heads when they clearly are doing something stupid, but usually my give-a-shit isn’t strong enough to spend much time pondering on it.