Dear AT&T Mobility…

Dear AT&T Mobility,

Your 3G network blows enormous hairy monkey balls. If you would like to contest this statement, please advise why 6 calls made over a span of 10 minutes this evening dropped and why it took several attempts at each call before being able to reach the party to whom the call was being placed.

I do understand that it’s the nature of cellular communications to be interrupted from time to time, but a drop each and every time I have made a call lasting longer than five minutes over the past week and a half seems a touch excessive.

When I signed our contract, I was under the impression that in exchange for my monthly payment, I would be provided with service that included actually making telephone calls. If I missed part of the contract that covers that or if I need to sign some additional paperwork to use my delicious new iPhone as, you know, an actual phone, please let me know at your earliest possible convenience.

Very truly yours,


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