Side effects…

Let’s pause for a moment and forget that this weekend I spent more money for five days worth of doggy antibiotics than I spend on a months worth of the drug that keep my stomach from exploding… Let’s also pretend that I know nothing about medicine (less of a stretch there) and for purposes of argument, we will assume that i have the mental capacity of an over-ripe eggplant. Now, I was reading the little print out that came with the antibiotics… Which is strange, as I don’t even read that crap about the medicines that I actually take myself. The very first side effect was “may cause diarrah”… Which gave me horrible flashbacks to earlier this spring when the steam cleaner came to live in my garge. That isn’t an unusual side effect of course. However, the last side effect listed was “may cause constipation.” OK, now you’ve got my attention… The all night vet has given me a miracle drug that either causes explosive pooping or no pooping at all. Isn’t that something that a fancy big city doctor could maybe narrow down a bit? Look, I understand all drugs have side effects, but in this case could we at least come to a consensus on whether it’s going to stop things up or blow them wide open? It’s just nice to know what enemy you’re going to be up against for the next few days, that’s all.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, at the end of 24 hours, the answer is neither. Go figure.

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