Usually when a bump in the night rouses Maggie, she lets out one shrill bark and settles back down to sleep. This morning was different. At 1:52 AM, she came up growling and snarling in that “I’m going to rip your throat out” kind of way angry dogs have about them. Still groggy, I was awake enough to know that was unusual for her and perhaps a warning sign of bad things to come. I didn’t hear anything unusual myself, but I guess I wouldn’t over the sound of hostile lab making her presence known.

Opting for the almost certain overkill of a pump action 12 gauge, I racked a round into the chamber and set out to investigate. Fortunately for everyone involved, a quick sweep of the house proved that all was secure and no one was skulking about with nefarious intent. It’s for the best. I’m thankful it was a false alarm, but in the event of an actual break in, I like to think the sight of a 300 pound naked man with a shotgun and a snarling dog coming down the steps at you might just be enough to give even the most addle minded, meth-ridden thief pause about continuing their activities.