Category Archives: Life

Newfangled technology…

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After extensive deliberation, some would even say argument, with the Tennessee Department of Safety Driver’s License facility, I learned this morning that for purposes of residence verification, electronic bank statements do not meet the official definition of “bank statements.” Just as a point of clarification, it’s not as though I put my statement on a CD and took it to them. I printed the statement to show that I was, in fact, domiciled in the state. Apparently once it is actually printed out, my e-statement became defined as a “photocopy.” Who knew?

The whole idea behind getting electronic statements is so that you only need to print them when and if they are needed. It saves me filing space, it saves the bank postage, and even the environment wins, right? Looking at the fine examples of state employees running the desk at the facility, I didn’t particularly feel like getting into an argument over the finer points of what, by definition, constitutes a bank statement. It wasn’t a crowd that look to be up for a debate of the finer points of… well… anything, really. Sometimes you just need to know when you’ve made a bad investment and cut your losses. Today, the better part of valor was to roll my eyes, sigh heavily, and walk away muttering something about being surrounded by idiots.

This is 2007, folks. We landed a damned man on the moon almost forty years ago. We’ve had home computers for 25 years. Email has been around for about 15. I’ve been getting electronic statements for virtually everything for at least five years. Can someone tell me why I can’t just walk up to some kind of biometric scanner, swipe my USA Identacard, scan my eyball, and have my information validated? It boggles my mind that we still insist on making these transactions on paper. Completely inefficient and bloody inconvenient. We’ll never have to worry about the Brave New World because the bleeding government will never figure out how to use the machines properly in the first place.

Bloody Hell. I really am surrounded by idiots… Present company excepted, of course.

What’s next?

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I’ve never been good at simply being satisfied with things. Even on the best of days, there was some improvement that could be made at the margins. Some people would call that being a pessimist. I prefer to think of it as being a realist, but that’s really just a matter of personal preference.

What do you do when it seems most of the things you wanted have started falling into place? Of course I’m good basking in the glow of things accomplished… for a while… Ultimately, thought, I want to know what’s next. Where’s the next challenge? This one isn’t even behind me yet, but my attention has moved elsewhere. I have a sneaking suspicion that things are not going to unfold exactly as I had them planned out. Not necessarily better, not necessarily worse, just different. I’m not usually alright with that, but perhaps in this case I’ll make an exception.

Red means…

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Having worked in DC, I was convinced that I had dealt with the worst drivers that could possibly be thrown at me. That was before I started coming to Tennessee on a regular basis. In DC, every driver is in a hurry to get somewhere and drivers tend to be aggressive, but reasonably aware of their surroundings. That is to say, they are able to see a slot opening up in bumper to bumper traffic before it even happens… and they are able to maneuver their car to that spot with a minimum of fuss… usually. At the bare minimum, you can always count on the DC driver to do what seems to be in his or her best interest. I’m not convinced these people actually know what their tactical driving self-interest actually is.

Tennessee drivers, as a group, tend to drive fast (not well, mind you, just fast) and have a complete disregard for electronic traffic control signals. That is to say that red lights are viewed as some kind of suggestion. Of course the typical DC driver also runs a red light from time to time, but usually it is maybe one person who was a little late getting through the yellow. Here, it seems that it’s three or four cars running the red at every turn lane. I’m not saying they’re morons, just that they seem to suck at something that most people learn to do in their mid teens. I could make a comment about ignorant hicks, but that would be rude… and given my own roots, I think it best to refrain.

There should be some kind of test people have to pass before they are allowed to drive… oh… yeah. Shit.

Must… Sleep…

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OK, the last few weeks have found me getting less than my usual five hours of sleep a night and I realize tonight that I am paying the price for that. I’m snappy, frustrated at things I normally wouldn’t let get to me, and generally in a piss-poor mood as far as the eye can see. At some point, if only for the sake of the poor bastards that are around me all day, I’ve got to get it through my head that I don’t have to do everything that needs done down here in the first three weeks I’m in the place.

Easy to say… Harder to do, I suspect. Hopefully tonight will be the night I crash at 9:00 and actually have a good sleep.

Getting there…

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I’m please to report that everything here seems to be coming together. Most of the boxes are unpacked now and rooms are starting to take on something approaching the way I’d like them to look. Of course there are still the details to handle; the pictures to hang, the boxes of trinkets to place, figuring out how the hell to cover the ridiculously oversized window in the dining room.

What I’ve noticed is that trips to Home Depot take on a new significance now. Around every corner is something to drool over. While I have always delighted in the utilitarian excess of places like Home Depot, I never got a special tingle going there when I was living in the apartment.

I’m going to try uploading some new pictures in the near future so I can prove that I’m actually making progress down here. I don’t think Memphis will ever be “home,” but it definitely feels better now that there’s more here than me and an air mattress.

Twice as long…

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Happily, I can report that my feud with Best Buy has been concluded satisfactorily. I have my appliances and a $25 gift card. I wasn’t actually trying to get a freebie from the corporate customer service office, but I’ll take it.

I am now the proud owner of a ridiculously large black refrigerator. The down side – and you knew there had to be one – is that the water dispenser in the door seems to have a slow and annoying leak. I’ve taken a deep breath and will hold on to see if it is something that will resolve itself as the seals and piping acclimatize to the cold. We’ll see…

Based on the experience so far, I’m not optimistic that will go according to plan. I may be a little jaded because as I picked up one end of the couch yesterday to move it out of the way, one of the legs fell off. Normally this is something I can fix myself, so I flipped the couch over to find that, in fact, the screws that are supposed to hold it to the frame were all stripped. I’m not going to go on a rant about using the right tool for the right job or anything here, but still. So, next Thursday, I’m going to loose another afternoon sitting around waiting on the furniture company to send out one of their “expert repairmen.” That should be interesting.

I have always heard the old saw that when it comes to home ownership everything takes twice as long and costs twice as much as estimated. While I haven’t really been surprised by the cost of things, I have found that everything really does take at least twice as long as it seems it should. Actually, twice as long may be a bit of a low-ball estimate.

Still, with all that being said, I am incredibly grateful and fortunate to have this place. Somewhere along the line, perhaps I’ll learn patience and tolerance of the stupid… But don’t hold your breath.

Not-so-Best Buy…

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It feels good to get back to the basic reason I started keeping this blog… Bitching and complaining about the stupid people and things that cross my path in the course of everyday life. Every so often it’s good to come back to your roots. 😉

Before heading back to Maryland for Christmas, I made a point of doing the vast majority of my major purchases ahead of time. I ordered blinds, new living room furniture, and a refrigerator, washer and dryer. Now, being a good steward of my own money, I did my due diligence by checking prices both locally and online. The best price on the washer, dryer, and refrigerator was actually from Best Buy. Good prices and points on my rewards card… Sweet.

I knew I would be in the house by this weekend and scheduled my delivery for today. I should have been prepared for a problem when I called the store yesterday to confirm the delivery time… I called the delivery department. There was no answer. I called the store’s main phone number. There was no answer. I waited an hour, repeated the process, and got the same result… and infuriating ring… ring… ring. By this point it was early evening and I needed to go out to get something for dinner, so I thought I would stop by the store to get an answer and critique their customer service. After waiting for 15 minutes for the customer service desk to actually find the manager, I explained the situation and the information I required. In response to my comment about not being able to reach anyone by phone, she mentioned that “oh, during the holidays, we don’t even bother answering the phone.” I’m fairly sure one of their forklifts could have driven into my mouth at that point. Did the store manager actually just say that they don’t answer their customer service line? Yes. Yes she did. Even if this were true, I think I would have come up with a better excuse.

And so, we come to this morning, with delivery scheduled between 8:00 and 11:00. The time is now 11:38 and I just got a call from the delivery driver. Apparently my street doesn’t exist and because he spent so much time driving around looking for it, he’ll have to move on to the next delivery and try to get me in later in the day. What the fuck?

Honest to God, I can’t believe anyone actually does business this way. If I don’t have a refrigerator, washer, and dryer sitting in this house by about 4:00, I’m cancelling the order and going to Home Depot.

I’m not dead yet…

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OK, so I’ve been told by those whose advice and wise counsel I trust implicitly that my last post sounded more like a funeral oration than the heartfelt farewell I was trying to hit. I don’t suppose I have to confess that the move has me a bit bewildered and out of sorts. As much as I have moved, it should be old hat by now, but it never really seems to go that way.

I think a large part of my melancholic tone can be attributed to the fact that in the days leading up to Christmas, I was stuck mostly thinking about the future rather than doing something to actually carry out the plan. Now that I’m here in Memphis waiting to close, and the boxes are all on a truck somewhere between here and Maryland, I’m feeling much better. I’m ready to tear in and actually do something.

There are things back in Maryland left undone that I wish I would have been able to get to. There are family and friends I will miss horribly. But tonight, there is new ground stretched out in front of me. There is a new way ahead to forge. There are nearly unlimited possibilities. And that makes me a happy camper.

Blast from the past… Kind of…

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I have never been a real computer gamer, but Age of Empires is a game I have fond memories of from living on the 5th floor of Cambridge. Nothing better than rallying your troops to crush the civilization next door… Or, more specifically, the civilization built by the guys living next door.

What I’ve found is that living in a hotel room brings out all of those bad habits from dorm life… Not picking up after yourself. Shit piled all over the floor. Mini-fridge jammed with stale pizza. Unfortunately, it has none of the scenery that made college life so interesting… No one has passed out head down in my toilet and there is no one walking across the parking lot who will flash the building on request. So, it’s not exactly like dorm living, but it’s close.

In keeping with the theme, I happened to be in Walmart tonight and wandered by the electronics section… There, sitting on the shelf, was the third installment of Age of Empires… and I couldn’t help myself. So, I’ve lost five hours of my day to sitting here, playing Age on my laptop… and drinking cheap beer… Ahhh, that really takes me back. 😉

Cheers, ya’ll. I’ve gotta go sack the Ottoman city center.

A visit from my black dog…

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Those of you who have been regular readers (thank you, by the way) may possibly have noticed a somewhat cyclic pattern to my posts. I know in reviewing them from time to time, I have identified a pattern that seems to emerge, at least to me, quite clearly… Building up a full head of steam and ranting or railing on a particular topic or series of topics, punctuated buy a post or two of more sullen thoughts. Until I sat tonight to write, I hadn’t put it together that those periods when my mood darkens are closely aligned to the times when I have the least to do… To those times when I have nothing to throw myself wholly into or to get lost in. They are the times I take counsel in my fears.

As I sit here tonight, I thought I might share some of those thought, some of those fears, with you.

Perhaps my greatest fear is that I’ll never be as great as my own ambition. It tends to be worse near my birthday and those who have spent any time with me in late May are probably all too familiar with my lament that Alexander had conquered an empire by the time he was thirty. As I write tonight, however, the thought, the fear, that plays on my mind most, is a question of why my own path seems so different that that of so many others. I’ve watched a parade of friends and associates pair off, marry, and settle into a routine of family life. And I’ve watched myself drive away the very possibility of those things in my on life at every turn. Just the outside prospect that things could move to that point fills me with abject dread and brings on images of the walls closing in on me, of suffocating under the weight of it.

The better part of the last three years has consisted of vaguely organized chaos, of flying across the country at the drop of a hat, of learning to think of hotels as second homes, and of never really being able to plan more than a few days of my life in advance. There is at least a part of me that envies those who know they’ll be home each night and know what and who to expect once they get there. There is more than a little regret for some of the opportunities I have allowed to pass untaken and for those my own chaos has hurt as it unfolded around them. I’ve not always been proud of the things I have done or the decisions I have made, but in almost every circumstance, I believed I was acting for the best. Some, however, were made in moments of fear, and of these, I am the least proud.

I will feel better tomorrow, because that is how these things work for me. Thought my black dog still lies at my feet, writing tonight has been a catharsis, as it almost always is.

I don’t often choose to post something this soul searching, so read and digest while you can… before I wake up in the middle of the night realizing what I threw out for the world to see and delete it… You know how I hate putting a weak face to the public.

P.S. Just so you know I’m not taking things too seriously tonight, I seriously considered posting this under the “Pets and Animals” category just for a lark and to see if anyone noticed.