Category Archives: MySpace Blog Archive

Like a cat…

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I spent a great deal of today hiding out and trying to do a few items that were, once, part of the actual job I am theoretically supposed to do on a daily basis. Several of my coworkers had gotten themselves trapped on tasks on the other side of the building for our other project.

I’ve often thought that I don’t try to make myself very conspicuous unless I need to get something from someone else, but after lunch, one of my dear coworkers commented that “Jeff’s like a cat, he’ll come around when he’s ready for attention.” I’m not entirely sure that was a compliment, but I found it pretty apt.

A Rant in Two Parts…

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1) Driving home this afternoon there was mass confusion on I-95 north. Typically such confusion is caused by one of three things, a) an accident, b) rubbernecking resulting from a recent accident, c) car fire. Not this afternoon, though. Today, the middle lane of 95 was clogged with a sub 50-MPH driving, flashers flashing, flags flying funeral cavalcade. WTF? The guy is dead, he’s not in a hurry to get anywhere and even if he was, doing under 50 on 95 is not going to get him there any faster. Would it kill you bastards to be a little considerate to the living. I’m sure Mr. or Mrs. X was very special to you, but even they would think you’re an ass for holding up traffic like that.

2) I had the apparently unrealistic expectation that people in graduate level classes would be able to write a coherent sentence. I was wrong. I was dead wrong. I’ve spent the better part of the last two hours editing a 10 page paper my “teammates” put together. Appalling is the only word that comes close to actually describing the grammatical carnage. I finally gave up after fixing the worst of it. If anyone is interested in reading the drivel these people came up with, please let me know. If nothing else, it should reassure your own sense of inherent superiority.

Hurricane Season…

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For most people, the diminished expectation for tropical storms and hurricanes this summer is a reason to celebrate. Personally, I’m more than a little disappointed. Hurricanes (usually those Category 3 and above) are a 14-hour/day, 7-day/week vacation from my normal job. Of course, like anyone, I bitch about the long hours and the seeming lack of support from other quarters, but in the end, these storms are a chance to stand neck-deep in the national decision-making process and play with senior leaders from the White House, Department of Homeland Security, Defense, and others. They are a chance to work till you bone tired and still deliver. It’s a chance to make obscene amounts of overtime and I want to buy new living room furniture, damnit.

Dense…

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I’m almost positive that my higher order thinking skills may have reached the “fatal systems error has occurred” stage this afternoon. I’m usually pretty good at looking at spreadsheets and making them make sense. I spent four hours today trying to decipher one and still have no goddamned idea what the hell I am actually supposed to be doing with it. Seriously, everyone else in the room heard the explanation and said “oh yeah, that makes sense” while I sat in my corner trying not to spill my drool cup. I swear to Christ, I feel like the mildly retarded cousin that everyone treats extra nice at Christmas. Bloody hell.

Chasing destiny…

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I have always harbored a secret belief that I was destined to do great things, to leave a memorial that I was here, something to be remembered by. I’ve never been one of those folks who believes that “as long as you’re remembered in the hearts of your family and friends, you can never really die.” What an assassinine comment. I’ve seen way to many dead people to think that when you die, you’re anything by dead. I’m not qualified, or especially interested at this stage of the game, to pontificate on issues of the soul. I figure that we’ll all find out soon enough anyway.

Still, I am occupied with chasing destiny. I’ve had ridiculous luck for as long as I can remember. The right things have always just fallen into place at the right time *knocks on wood*. I won’t ponder mortality, but can’t help but contemplate the future.

A little bit louder now…

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OK, so I spent a few hundred dollars and had my stereo head unit upgraded this weekend… Unfortunately, now I decided I have to have new speakers so the improved sound quality really comes through. And then maybe an amp for a little more kick. Not really looking to pimp my ride, but damn, that new Alpine sounds good. 🙂 I drooled over stereos for my first car when I was 16 and I’m still drooling. A little ironic considering I don’t actually play the music all that loud. It’s just kind of nice to know you can when you want to.

Congress does its part…

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So, I walked through the lobby yesterday morning and was greeted by a wall of US Capitol Police officers. That’s not the norm since we really aren’t located anywhere near the Capitol. After finding my way around the wall and out to the front of the building, I found a veritable motorcade of USCPD vehicles and three Ford Econoline vans. I have no idea how long they have been there or how long they will be staying, but all the air conditioners were running full tilt and no one was anywhere near them.

I was very glad to see the representatives of our Legislative Branch doing their part to help conserve fuel and reduce operating expenses. Way to set an example guys! Good job.

Ahab…

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I’m convinced that my team leaders have lost touch with logic, common sense, and any grasp of reason that they have ever had. I teleworked on Tuesday… That’s right, working from the comfort of a well broken-in Lazyboy wearing slippers, shorts, and a t-shirt with grass stains on it. Without the typical office disruptions, these once a week sessions (when I’m actually at home) are a welcome chance to catch up on the reading and other minutia that piles up during a typical week.

This afternoon, however, I had my balls busted by a project manager and a team leader who seem to think I did it to personally inconvenience them… Asking why I didn’t tell them; wondering what would have happened if they needed me; how they were supposed to reach me; why I wasn’t at the office holding their hand.

The answers are as follows: 1) My regular telework day is listed on two master calendars; 2) I would have gotten in the car and driven to the office; 3) By e-mailing or calling one of the three phones I had with me at the time (home, personal cell, and office cell); 4) because I have an abiding dislike of sitting around watching other people make changes to documents when there are other things I could actually be doing myself.

I’ve concluded that in its waning days, this project has become the Great White Whale, the elusive target that always manages to stay just out of reach. Our masters have taken the part of the Captains Ahab; obsessed, driven, hell-bent, and consumed only with catching the Whale. When you step back and look at the actual damage that has been done to this project my some people’s malicious actions, one has to wonder why its leaders would choose to take a stand on an issue this trivial.

So go, Ahab, chase your whale, but don’t expect the crew to go down with you.

Damned Myspace…

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The last two books I’ve red haven’t been located by the wonderful little “what are you reading” function on the blog posting page. For anyone who cares, reviews are as follows:

1. Gentleman Soldier – A short narrative on focusing on the brief, but exemplary military career of LTG Wade Hampton, CSA as well as his political life after the war as governor of South Carolina and US Senator. An excellent little work if you are interested in Confederate leadership beyond Lee, Jackson, and Stewart. An easy and good read even for those not particularly versed in the Civil War.

2. Alan Shrugged – A newish biography of Alan Greenspan, covering his childhood and delving into his personal life as well as his tenure as economic advisor and Fed Chairman. Just started this one tonight, but so far have been impressed with the book’s readability.

I could rant about why Myspace doesn’t link to these titles, but have a feeling that I would end up sounding more like a elitist prick than usual. Does anyone want to comment on the irony of being called an elitist prick and being from Western Maryland? At some level the two seem somewhat incompatible, I think.

Something’s different…

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I read a number on blogs of this infernal machine and a common refrain among my fellow drones is something like “my job sucks.” While you’ve often seen me bitching and complaining about whatever happens to be going on, I actually thoroughly enjoy what I do. When I’m bitching the loudest, I’m usually the happiest. It operates on a similar principle to only picking on the people you like. Despite it all, I can’t imagine doing anything else just now.

It’s hard, though to deny that something’s different lately. The phone isn’t ringing as often. The steady flow of e-mail has slowed to a trickle. It’s like the organization is hunkering down, doing underground to ride out the coming storm. I can’t shake the feeling that we’re in the calm now. I hate the waiting. Give me something that I can work against, something I can plan against, something to drive against. I hate the waiting.