Well, there’s your problem…

One of the biggest challenges of being young and ambitious and employed by the federal government all at the same time is that due to it effectively being a closed system, the ranks are filled with crusty old bastards who are blocking your route to plum assignments. They’ve been retired in place for years now and have no intention of leaving. For the generation coming up through the ranks, these are nothing so much as roadblocks, whose skill sets and mentality would be better suited for the government of 1967 than that of 2007. I’m not suggesting here that there should be a mandatory retirement age, just that there reaches a point where it’s no longer in the best interest of the government to keep these people on the payroll. In fact, I don’t know why you would reach 40 years of service and actually still want to hang around. Personally, I’m planning on playing a hell of a lot of golf by that stage of the game.

Of course the reality is that the federal bureaucracy is, at some unspoken level, a make work program whose personnel system has an unfortunate tendency to softly discourage young employees from turning a job into a career. When there is no clear path to advancement or even lateral transfer into a more attractive position, what incentive does a mid-level 20-something employee have to stay the course? Why would they wait, possibly for years, for a position or a promotion that no one can guarantee? Organizational loyalty is a great thing, but it has to work both ways. If you can’t reward the hard work and dedication of the Young Turks who designed and helped build the organization, they have to look to other opportunities and to their own future. Our generation isn’t one to sit around and “pay dues” just because that’s what our parent’s generation did.

The time has come to distribute the spoils of the transition we helped carry out. Historically, though, revolutions have a bad habit of eating their own young – just ask Robespierre or Marat. I’d recommend we all stay out of the tub for a while, just to be on the safe side of things.

Two day pass…

Having slept in until a ridiculously late 7:00 this morning, I’m feeling rested and ready to again take over the world. I’m on a two day pass to get some things done around the house… think laundry, lawn care, and general cleaning… and then I’m on the road to Richmond for a week. As an aside, there’s no good way to get from Memphis to Richmond. Apparently, the only way to do it on a Sunday is to go through Newark, New Jersey as an intermediate step. I’m sure there is a logic to the way airlines do what they do, but I’m damned if I can figure it out.

Standing down…

This first outing of 2007 has been full of sound and fury, sure enough, but has come to nothing. We’re closing down, packing up, and heading out. Lots of build up only to watch everything fizzle when it was time for the big event. Is it possible for a hurricane to give you blue balls? Never mind, ignore that question.

I should be back in the MEM tomorrow afternoon… at least for a few days.

I’ll take “Conversations I never thought I’d be a part of for $1000, Alex”…

As they get older, some people develop this Normal Rockwell idealized version of childhood where they think of themselves as “growing up poor” and spinning endless yarns about how tough they had it. I’m not one of those people. Though a far cry from wealthy, we were comfortable. Despite this, I managed to learn a healthy respect for money, which I even try to remember from time to time now that I’m in charge of my own.

One of the things that anyone who has every worked a big emergency event will tell you is that the day tends to stretch on in an unending series of telephone conferences and meetings where people say mostly the same thing again and again. Occasionally, though, you’ll hear something that either makes you shake your head in disbelief or shoot lukewarm coffee out your nose at something approaching the speed of sound.

This afternoon, I was lounging in my standard government issue office chair, leaning perilously back and swilling cup after cup of what passes for “official” coffee. The meeting I was part of was dealing with an impending budget request and since it wasn’t my budget, I’ll admit that my attention was wandering. The question that caught me not only by surprise, but completely unaware in this case was a simply worded affair: Do you think we should request the full $…illion? Now remember, a couple of million is no big deal between agencies, so I didn’t think much of the words that ending in “…illion,” until, of course, the answer came back, “no, I think we can get by on the $950 million for this one.”

That’s right, you just found the point in the day where the institutional coffee I had been drinking filled my sinus cavity. This room full of mid-level bureaucrats was tossing around a billion dollar budget request like people toss a $5 bill on the counter to pay for their daily Starbucks fix. Now that I’ve had the chance to think about it, in the grand scheme of the federal budget, a billion isn’t really that big a chuck of change to request… and that realization really got me thinking.

Growing up in Nowhere, Maryland, I never once would have imagined the places I’ve been, the things I’ve done, and the opportunities I have had. But today, there I was, the youngest person in the room easily by a decade, when we decided that we could “get by” on $995 million next year. There’s enough Western Maryland left in me to still think of that as real money, Everett Dirksen to the contrary.

Stupid sit and wait…

The last time I did this, I was working 13 hour days on top of a two and a half hour round trip commute. This time I’ve gotten myself set up in a hotel three blocks from the office and when I get to the room, I’m still exhausted. This office isn’t as fun as working across town at the center of the storm. I have a sneaking suspicion that things will start picking up tomorrow when we start kicking people out the door and lining them up in central Texas. For the time being, I’ll be happy racking up overtime and travel pay. Keep an eye on the Weather Channel for the next few days and you’ll have a pretty good preview of how tired a/o pissed off I’m gonna be for the next few weeks.

Called up…

OK gang, I got the call up this morning and will be on a flight this afternoon to go play hurricane. Looks like I’ll be in DC for the duration on this one. We’re working 12 on, 12 off, so I’m not going to promise to get in touch with anyone, buy if we get a lull, I’ll let ya’ll know.

And three shall be the number of the counting…

We’ve got three tropical systems keeping us pretty busy at the moment. Lots of planning and what ifs and more phone calls than anyone should reasonably be expected to keep up with. I’ll still be around, but the blogging may be a little slower for the next few days while we try to find our asses with both hands and a flashlight. Standby.

Flash traffic…

There’s nothing that gets the blood flowing on a Friday afternoon like a “flash” message to prepare for emergency action. There’s a storm out there grinding its way towards Hawaii. She’s a category three this morning, but will get out over colder water this evening and weaken before getting close enough to do any real damage. In a moment of frustration with how things have been going at the office, this was just the reminder I needed to dig in and find a little motivation.

Mayhem, chaos, and destruction… God help me, I do love it so.

The saga continues…

OK, I’ve filed my plans (for the second time) and have all the paperwork cut, reservations made, all the appropriate notifications that I’ll be floating around the old homestead over the weekend have happened (almost). When everything is going according to schedule, my day ends at 3:30. At 3:19 I got an email that I had been “uninvited” to the DC meeting on Friday. At 3:26 another email hit my inbox that I was “reinvited.” I appreciate you boys fighting over me, I really do, but this whole plan has all the classic hallmarks of a typical government operation… no one has a damned clue what is actually going on.

As of 8:30, I’m planning to fly out tomorrow. That, of course, is subject to the requirements of the service and can change at any time before “the cabin door has been closed and customers are asked to turn off their cell phones, pagers, and other electronic devices.” If you don’t see a stark, raving post about government ineptitude by 6:00 PM eastern time tomorrow, you’ll know I’m winging my way somewhere over the Eastern half of the country. Stay tuned for developments as they happen.

Weekend update…

The best way to end your Monday is to find out you will be hitting the road again on Thursday night. As it happens, I have to be in DC for meetings on Friday and due to arcane federal regulations, I can’t technically be forced to travel outside “normal duty hours.” What that effectively means is that Uncle is going to pick up the tab for me to spend the weekend at home and that I’ll fly back here to Memphis on Monday morning.

So, cool cats and kittens, I’ll be in town sometime late Friday afternoon. Hope to see ya’ll there!