Tag Archives: assume

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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It’s been a slow week for petty annoyances… and while that’s technically a good thing because it tends to mean my blood pressure isn’t all over the map, it also doesn’t make for a great weekly spot. Despite being a pretty good week overall, there are a few things that I can’t let pass without mentioning.

1. Support services. Theoretically, office trash is supposed to be picked up three times a week. That happens probably 50% of the time. 40% of the time, someone shows up for it twice a week. Last week was one of those 10% moments when no one came by at all. I tote and haul my own trash at home, so I don’t have any philosophical issues with carrying it to the dumpster here at the office – it’s more so a function of a) not knowing where the trash actually goes once it leaves my cubicle, b) not having any of the baby-sized trash bags to replace the one I need to throw out, and c) we’re paying someone good money on a contract that calls for them to, you know, take the bloody trash out three times a week. It’s a small thing, I know, but I have a creeping suspicion that it’s just the surface-level indication that government writ large doesn’t have a clue what kind of quality service it’s getting for our money.

2. Favors. As a rule I try not to ask for favors. That’s mostly because I don’t want to end up then owing someone a favor down the line. If someone asks, though, and it’s not too off-putting, I’m generally open to helping them out. All I really ask is that you be clear about your request. For instance, if you say something like “Hey, can you pick me up a Coke when you go get your lunch” don’t act surprised when what I bring back is a Coke. You see, the thing is, I can’t read your mind. I have no earthly way of knowing that by “Coke” you mean Diet Coke. Honestly, I just don’t pay that kind of attention to people’s daily beverage choices, so I make the blithe assumption that you’re asking for what you actually want. If I asked someone to pick me up a cup of coffee, I’m not sure I’d be offended if they brought back a cup of regular black coffee instead of a vinti-vanilla-latte-extra-hot-with-a-shot. I would have failed to specify what I really wanted… and I damned sure wouldn’t have stood there expecting the person doing me the favor to cover the cost of what I asked them to bring me because they weren’t able to read my bloody effing mind and know what I asked for wasn’t what I wanted. I would have just said “thanks” and gone on about my day. From here on out, the answer is always “no.” Thanks for playing.

As a side note, this is the 53rd regular installment of What Annoys Jeff this Week. Hard as it is to believe, you’ve been listening to my weekly list of grips for a year now. I won’t say it’s actually been cathartic, but it sure is fun to take a little time once a week to call out stupid for what it is.

Boxes, boxes everywhere…

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Back in January, I was operating under the assumption that a move was just around the corner. In an effort to save time later, I set about boxing up those things that were “non-essential” and that I could live without for a few weeks during the transition period. What I anticipated being a few weeks, has drug out over two months now and is well on its way to shattering the three month mark before anything resembling a move takes place.

It seems I may have jumped the gun a bit on being prepared. The spare bedroom? Sure, that’s not a problem. I never spent any time in there anyway. The DVDs? OK, but I’m starting to feel the pain on that one. The biggest problem in this premature packing extravaganza is that every tool and general household item I own is boxed up and stacked neatly in the corner of the garage.

Need a light bulb? It’s in a box. Screwdriver? In a box. I’ve learned an important lesson here. Many of the things I have laying around the house are definitely non-essential… for a few weeks. Anything more than that and it gets to be a downright inconvenient proposition. So far, I’m resisting the temptation to crack open the boxes and making due with a Swiss army knife and Leatherman as household fix it tools. I’m reading a lot more to make up for the DVD’s now stacked up behind the couch. Unpacking these boxes even just to alleviate some bit of inconvenience would be like admitting defeat on some level… but I shall never surrender.

Coming home to roost…

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Any time you make assumptions, you run the risk of having them not play out as you expected. It’s something akin to writing a check based on the hope of having future income. If, for some reason, your income flow stops, those checks are going to bounce and when that happens often enough, your creditors are going to come looking. If you’re exceptionally lucky, your creditors aren’t men like Sammy Gravano or John Gotti and you’ll still go home at night with your kneecaps and phalanges attached.

Over the last few months, we’ve been trying to sell a bill of goods. More particularly, our leaders at pay-grades above reality have been writing checks on our account and the bills are about to come due. We’re told to prepare to defend a pie-in-the-sky promise that was made for us by higher authorities. It might not be a show-stopper, but it is going to make the rest of this week a royal pain in the ass.