Tag Archives: burger king

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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1. Unpredictability. Being a creature of habit, unpredictability makes me nervous. I don’t like it. I can deal with it, but all things considered, I’d rather not. Summer days, and particularly days that end the week are nothing but unpredictable and will send you from running 1000 miles an hour with your hair on fire to a dead stop without so much as a friendly warning. If I were king for life, I’d set them up to have a nice easy flow leading into the weekend. Yeah, that would suit me nicely, thank you.

2. Gay Pride Whopper. Facebook took note this week of a “gay pride” Whopper wrapper. I’m not sure why it’s a thing, but apparently it is. All I can tell you for sure is that the wrapper doesn’t change whats inside. Set a gay pride burger next to a normal burger and I have a sneaking suspicion no one complaining about the wrapper could tell the difference. Maybe I’m an anomaly, but I don’t care about a company’s politics so much. As long as they’re providing me a product or service I want at a price I consider fair, I say God bless and go support whatever cause your heart desires.

3. Winston. I love the little furry bastard, but for the love of all things good and holy it would be nice if he could stay healthy for more than 7-10 days at a time. More trips to the vet, more shorts, more sprays, more pills, ad infinitum. A middle aged bulldog isn’t so much a force of nature as it is a sucking black hole into which you will throw all manner of money. Bulldog people must be different by nature and temperament, because no sane person would willingly subject themselves to the trials and tribulations of life with a smush-nosed beasties.

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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Europe. Since the time of Charlemagne, and Augustus before him, otherwise bright people have been trying to figure out a way to bind Europe together into something that approximates a single political entity. Charles V made a pretty solid showing during his reign. Henry VIII harbored his own dreams of European empire. Napoleon tried twice and Hitler damned near accomplished it. What do all these incredibly successful historical leaders have in common? Oh yeah, they all failed to unify Europe. By that light, I’m not sure why anyone is particularly surprised that a group of less inspiring bureaucrats in Brussels are having a tough time holding together a European Union. In the long run I think they best they can hope for is coming up with a dignified exit strategy. Even if the EU isn’t finished, it’s bound to look a lot different than the one they dreamed up at Maastricht in 1992.

Burger King. I love bacon about as well as anyone I know, but I’ve never sat here at home eating a bowl of ice cream and thought to myself, “Self, you know what would make this ice cream better? Bacon bits and a crispy slice of fried goodness.” I’m sure my fellow Americans will line up to buy this new bacon sundae, but as much of a glutton as I am, I’m afraid I’ll have to take a pass on it. It really just sounds like one of the most god awful ideas ever.

Drones. I’m tired of people spazzing out about unmanned aerial vehicles being the next wave of big brother keeping an eye on everyone. If Uncle Sam was really that interested in knowing what we’re up to, don’t you think maybe he has more sophisticated methods than sending a remote controlled helicopter to give you and me the once over? It’s cute when people are so paranoid that they can’t see the forest for the trees.