What Annoys Jeff this Week?

1. The U.S. House of Representatives. I was really counting on the House of Representatives to completely shit the bed and shut the government down at the end of this week. I mean I don’t want them to close up shop forever, but a week or two furlough over the Thanksgiving holiday would have been some much appreciated time off for which I’d have ended up getting paid for eventually anyway. Alas, the House managed to drop back and punt… and do it without waiting until the last possible moment. It’s not that kind of performance I should find impressive, but given all their recent fuckery, it’s honestly surprising.

2. Timing. The six weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years are, in my experience, pretty much dead space. Sure, technically there are a fair number of work days in there, but the universal consensus is that the vast number of bureaucrats are focused on other things. Just now, the week before I launch into my five day Thanksgiving weekend, I’m feeling the siren’s call of a near total lack of motivation. Yes, of course I’ll keep plugging away at whatever crosses my desk, but it’s undeniable that my annual holiday lack of motivation has arrived early this year… and it’s only annoying because some of my distinguished colleagues haven’t arrived there yet themselves. I question their timing.

3. Cold. For most of my adult life I’ve been thermally protected by the extra weight I’ve carried around. With the recent arrival of cold weather combined with some appreciable weight loss, I find that for the first time in memory, I’m constantly cold instead of running just a little bit warm. It’s a predictable side effect, but I’m finding it more unpleasant than I expected.

It keeps me up at night…

I’m not generally given to bouts of fear, but sometimes, lying in bed, late at night, I think some moments of trepidation are unavoidable – a product of a brain churning through a 100 different scenarios each more unpleasant than the last. Perhaps that’s the curse of the educated class; that we know the things we know and are thereby unable to live lives of oblivious happiness.

There are hundreds of possible “bad things” that one can reasonably fear. There are the perennial favorites: war, famine, plague, pestilence, dogs and cats living together. Then there are the more personal fears. Is tonight the night the “big one” is going to hit the New Madrid Fault? Is Uncle Sam going to open his doors on March 5th? And what could I have done to be better prepared? While those are quite real possibilities, that’s not the one that wakes me up at night.

The one that gets me every time is the fleeting notion that this 30-day hiring freeze could easily be extended through the end of the fiscal year – or beyond. Even more vexing is the thought that I’d then be sidelined here in Memphis indefinitely. It’s not an unreasonable thought. Should Congress pass a Continuing Resolution at or less than the funding level during FY10, I fear it’s altogether possible that the human resource managers at echelons above reality could decide that hiring and transfers are not currently in the best interest of the government due to the costs involved and in an effort to attrit the workforce into its desired size and composition. That would mean another six months marking time awash in a rising tide of disinterest and discontent.

To have gotten so close only to be turned away now would be a hammer fall. Even my self-confidence has its limits.

Grinding to a halt…

As a fed, I’m following with great interest the ongoing fight to set the government’s spending levels for the rest of 2011. The current Continuing Resolution funding operations runs through March 4th. If it expires, the lights go off for the vast majority of federal offices – Social Security checks stop flowing, veterans benefits stop being paid, inspectors are no longer monitoring the nation’s food supply and we’re in a position where, except in very narrowly defined areas of national security, the legal authority of the government to do business ceases to exist. At that moment, somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.5 million federal employees and a veritable army of contractors instantly join the ranks of the unemployed.

As I remember my high school civics lessons, one of the primary jobs of the Congress is to allocate funds (i.e. pass a operating budget for the year). We’re almost half a year into fiscal 2011 and they haven’t managed to get that done yet. Perhaps instead of grandstanding for benefit of the media, Congress should do its job and, you know, actually do the hard work of passing a budget. Speaker Boehner says if federal jobs are lost as a result of the Legislative Branch’s posturing and pandering, “so be it.” That’s a hell of an attitude for a man only one life removed from being the leader of the people he’s just told to “eat cake.” There are no simple answers to the decades-in-the-making fiscal issues we’re facing and listening to so-called leaders dumbing it down to a one line soundbite insults my intelligence and should insult every American with the sense God gave a goat.

The federal government should and must reduce its operating costs, but this can be done in a sane manner, analyzing the relative value of work performed and making informed decision about what functions, missions, and people add value to the country and which are, by definition, pork. There will be reductions in personnel. There has to be in order to control payroll costs, which are the single biggest expense of any organization. Across the board indiscriminate hacking only makes sense from a position of emotion. I hope calmer and more analytical heads prevail in this national discussion, as the slash-and-burn strategy has always worked out so well in the past. Given the emotionally charged atmosphere both sides have fostered, I’m not optimistic.