Tag Archives: doctor

Conversations with the doctor…

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Given that I was all but out of the medicines that keep my stomach from tearing itself apart and my blood pressure from rocketing through the top of my skull, I basically had no choice but to comply with the summons of my newly appointed doctor to make myself available to him before he’d call in my refill. My last doctor had been incredibly accommodating when it came to dispensing the medications and I got the distinct feeling that this one wasn’t going to be so pliable. In fairness, he seems like a nice enough guy and legitimately concerned about his patients. Perhaps a few snippets of dialog can illustrate…

Doc: What brings you in today?
Me: You wouldn’t refill my prescription until I came in.
Doc: Oh yeah. So no complaints?
Me: Besides the obvious? No.
Doc: Good. No problems then.

Doc: We need to make sure your kidneys are working.
Me: I peed this morning…
Doc: That’s a good sign.
Me: I thought so.
Doc: So we’ll just take you back to the lab to draw blood.
Me: Super.

Doc: Do you want your flu shot while you’re here?
Me: No.
Doc: Why not?
Me: I get sick the day after every flu shot I’ve ever gotten.
Doc: Ever had the flu?
Me: Once years ago
Doc: Me too. Was down for two weeks. It’s no fun.
Me: Better make sure you get your shot.
Doc: Yeah.

Look, I know we’ve all got a job to do, but really, all I need you to do is keep me supplied with the drugs that keep me alive. I’m a wimp when it comes to being sick and you can count on the fact that the minute something goes wrong, you’re going to be the second to know because I’m going to want some shot or pill that will get me fixed up. I know this is a new relationship for us, but I’m pretty sure the “see you in three months” thing is a little excessive. I’ll concede to twice a year if absolutely necessary, but once a quarter is out of the question. We’re going to have to come to some sort of understanding.

Damned crazy Chinaman…

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I’m not exactly known for my track record for running out and trying new things and I suppose there’s a good reason for that. Having been talked into a quick massage at the mall yesterday, one of the features was a reflexology treatment. Now, I have issues with feet to begin with (that’s definitely another story) and mine in are already banged up from the heel spur. The message itself was good enough, but I thought I was going to have to kick this poor guy in the head when he grabbed a hold of my foot and started yanking it around. I don’t know what a reflexology session is supposed to feel like, but I was under the impression that it shouldn’t leave you hobbled for the rest of the day. There are two basic morals to this story: 1) New things are bad and 2) Never trust some damned crazy Chinaman to make your feet feel better. From here on out, I’ll be back in the camp of getting my medical advice from actual doctors.

I’ve got spurs that jingle jangle jingle…

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If the x-ray is correct, I apparently am now the proud owner of a large heel spur in my left foot. It hurts like a mother and has basically brought me to a grinding halt over a period of about five days. The only way I can describe it is that it feels more or less like having a permanent cramp in the arch of your foot. After you’ve been sleeping or sitting down for more than a few minutes, forget it. My doc, who’s usually all about the pills decided to give me some industrial sized painkillers that are more or less useless. They did manage to get me an appointment with the specialist on Monday morning, so I’m super excited about another trip to the doctor. So, for the rest of the weekend, I’ll be gimping around the house. Bloody lovely.

Things fall apart…

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I’m not sure what it is about the magical age of 30, but it feels like I’m falling apart at the seams lately. Finally over the foolishness with my mouth and now I’ve apparently done something to my foot. I say “something” because I don’t have a clue what the problem is other than it feels like I have a constant cramp in and around the arch. Of course being paranoid, I’ve done my research and have found several possible culprits for this issue. I’ve got an appointment with my normal doc tomorrow to get her opinion and some options. Whatever the issue ends up being, it’s going to get addressed toot sweet, cause I’m damned near killing myself trying to get to the coffee in the morning on one foot.

Better living through chemistry…

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Thursday and Friday were basically filled with spending quality time at the doctor’s office. The complete physical exam and stress test are clearly two of the most devious methods of torture ever devised by the minds of men. It’s hard to look casual when you’re wearing one of these little hospital gown thingies.

With the exception of some slightly elevated blood pressure, I am pleased to report that I am in good health and strong as a bull moose. I’ll tear your shit up on that treadmill, yo!

So now in addition to my beloved Nexium that is working to keep my stomach from escaping through my mouth, I’ve added a dose of Micardis to my daily regimen in an effort to bring my blood pressure into something approaching the “normal” range. We’ll check back in a month and see how that’s all working out. Incidentally, I love that my new doctor is a pill pusher. No fuss. No muss. Treat the symptoms and move on. Finally, a doctor I think I can work with.

Remember that time I bitched about taking too much time off?

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Yeah, I don’t usually bitch about that. I’m a lot of things, including a bit of a workaholic, but I’m a firm believer in using your leave instead of giving it back at the end of the year. I took a day of sick leave on Monday quite frankly because I didn’t get home until 1-somethhing in the morning and the 0530 wake-up call just wasn’t going to happen. Today I took off at 1:00 to go to a doctor’s appointment. Friday I’m taking leave so I can meet some repair people at the house. Next Thursday, I’m scheduled for a dentist appointment in the morning and a stress test in the afternoon. Friday I’m scheduled for a physical first thing in the morning. It’s all just ri-goddamn-diculous. What I want to do is go to work so I have a chance in hell of catching up from all the time I’ve spent on the road in the last month. Plus, I have to get up at 6:00 in the morning on a Friday so someone can play with my twig and berries, stick a finger up my ass, and not even get laid in the deal.

So yeah, this is why I avoid doctors like the plague. Once you see one, it’s like a never-ending cavalcade of office calls and follow-ups. There is always one more test, one more specialist, or just a few more minutes on the devil’s treadmill.

All I want to do is go to work and be left alone. Is that such a crime?

Returning to regular programming…

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The last few days have been an effort to clear out the photographic backlog I’ve managed to build up. Happily, I seem to have gotten through all of the at this point, so I am free to get back to my first passion… bitching about random subjects here on the internet. It’s good to get back to basics.

My alarm system is obviously still on the fritz, my dentist is trying to micromanage my health, and it’s a pain in the ass to get a doctor’s office to return your call in this town. Other than that, just a typical early Sunday morning working through a backlog of mail and bills. As you can see, it’s another exciting Sunday on tap here on the banks of the Big Muddy.