A real pisser…

Six or so years ago I found myself limping around the house, the office, the grocery store, basically everywhere. It wasn’t quite agony, but it wasn’t pleasant. A trip to my primary care doctor and a referral to a orthopedic specialist later, the diagnosis was plantar fasciitis. It’s a problem of the ligaments of the foot, which tends to cause intense pain after sleeping and long periods of sitting, both of which are activities I participate in on a daily basis. The basic fix was some over the counter anti-inflammatory, some icing, staying off the thing as much as possible, and a fancy set of orthotic inserts for my shoes. It’s all part of my look as the world’s youngest 70 year old man.

Mostly the inserts and an occasional handful of ibuprofen do the trick to stave off any further issues. About once a year though I unwittingly do something to aggravate the hell out of the little bundle of ligaments… at which point I’m right back to limping around from place to place and generally trying to keep off the damned thing as much as possible. It seems that this week is that magical time of year.

So if you see me gimping across the parking lot or I don’t stand up to greet you, a) I’m ok and b) don’t take it personally. I once heard it said that getting old ain’t for sissies. The older I get – and the more wear and tear I inflict on myself – the more I’ve come to appreciate that statement. For good or bad we’re all living in bodies that were designed by biology to last 35 or 40 years, seed the next generation, and then make way for them. We’ve pushed that frontier back through the audacity of our science… but the bits and pieces that wear out and break down along the way are a real pisser.

That’s not some kind of Forrest Gump rig is it?

Well, yesterday was the big visit with the podiatrist and he confirmed that I do indeed have a giant-assed heel spur. Of course he looked a little deeper and root causes… I hate it when they do that. Apparently, the tendons in my foot are all out of whack and that’s causing the spurs and the underlying pain. So, after more x-rays, having him yank and pull at my foot, and having a delightful plaster cast made of my feet, and waiting for three weeks, I’ll have shoe inserts that are theoretically going to force my feet back into something like a normal position and alleviate the tendon issues. I’ve got the inflammation knocked down with regular doses of the giant Aleve tablets I’m popping every four hours so the pain is much better than it was. Fortunately now I can walk without totally gimping around. Hopefully in a couple of weeks I’ll have this whole unfortunate episode resolved and get back to complaining about normal things. I’m just glad they didn’t try to stick me in the Forrest Gump leg brace set.

Things fall apart…

I’m not sure what it is about the magical age of 30, but it feels like I’m falling apart at the seams lately. Finally over the foolishness with my mouth and now I’ve apparently done something to my foot. I say “something” because I don’t have a clue what the problem is other than it feels like I have a constant cramp in and around the arch. Of course being paranoid, I’ve done my research and have found several possible culprits for this issue. I’ve got an appointment with my normal doc tomorrow to get her opinion and some options. Whatever the issue ends up being, it’s going to get addressed toot sweet, cause I’m damned near killing myself trying to get to the coffee in the morning on one foot.