Tag Archives: mediocrity

That’s the spirit…

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There’s a lot going on in the world. Between the incredible imploding generals, John Kerry’s name on the short list for Secretary of Defense, Israel chomping at the bit to bomb its enemies further back into the stone age, an impending fiscal disaster of biblical proportions, and a few dozen other odds and ends that are making the news today, you’d think I could gin up something pithy to discuss tonight… but in thinking that, you, gentle reader, would be exactly wrong. No matter how earth shattering or sensational, my official response to most of the day has been a rather disinterested shrug coupled with the occasional “Meh” for emphasis.

After several minutes of in depth analysis, I’ve determined that the harder I look at the world around me, the dumber it gets… and the higher my blood pressure soars. Perhaps it’s best for the world, and for my long term cardiovascular health if I just start ignoring everything that’s going on around me. That approach seems to work well enough for the masses, so maybe if I stick my nose in a book and pretend that civilization isn’t actually doomed everything will turn out just fine in the end. I mean it’s the approach that works for the inevitable 6 out of 10 who can’t find their state on a map or are more likely to follow news for Justin Bieber than Joe Biden.

So in this new spirit of apathetic mediocrity, I bid you all good night. I’m sure I can find something perfectly pedestrian to take my mind off the world. If a good book doesn’t work, I’m sure one of the 87 channels of reality television will fill the bill nicely.

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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1. Kids that drink hand sanitizer. What’s wrong with kids today? Back when I was coming up, we had the good sense to respect ourselves and steal miniatures of Seagram’s 7 and Canadian Club that our parents forgot were packed away in the back of the basement. In a pinch we’d even go so far as to make friends with someone older and let them hook us up. We were practitioners of creative acquisition, by God. It’s time someone steps in and teaches these youngsters that life is just too damned short to drink bad alcohol.

2. America’s puritanical streak. The Secret Service really stepped in it a few weeks back, make no mistake about it. I think they embarrassed themselves badly. Unlike the morality crusaders out there, though, I don’t think their embarrassment had anything to do with consorting with hookers. What happens between two consenting adults doesn’t mean a hill of beans to me. If you want to gig these guys over something, how about trying to flash their badge and use their position to get out of paying the bill? If two people want to trade money for sex, that’s between him, her, and the laws of that particular jurisdiction. I’ve never understood why I should care as long as its legitimately consensual. Sadly, America’s puritanical streak is once again showing itself to be alive and well at the mere thought that someone might have fornicated. If you want to get riled up, be mad because one of the agents was a cheap bastard, not because people had sex. It’s like we’ve got the national mentality of a room full of fifth graders.

3. Information Dominance. Every time I see that phrase written somewhere, I’m reminded of how many times a day my computer freezes, loses files, can’t connect to the printer, or thinks the internet doesn’t exist. Information dominance? Meh. I’d settle for desktop mediocrity.

What they don’t teach at business school…

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So, I’m thinking of writing a book about all the things they don’t teach you at business school. The problem with business schools, or mine at least, is that it is taught by instructors and populated with students who desperately believe that the world is full of puppy dogs an lollypops and that all that hard decisions can be a “win-win-win” for everyone.

I call bullshit. Want to guess why it’s a hard decision? Because if it were an easy one, some schmuck further down the corporate food chain could have made it. It’s a hard decision because in the end someone is going to walk away with less than they wanted. Paint it any way you want, but losing still sucks even when the whore is dressed up and called “compromise.”

Why are we afraid in this society of head-to-head competition? We love to watch it on television… check out the ratings for programs like Survivor© or the NFL© or any of the other hundred shows that pit one person against another. Competition is human instinct. It’s why we climb over the next hill. It’s why we crossed ocean. It’s why we hurtle brave men and women into space strapped to the bombs we affectionately call rockets.

When we as a society stopped competing and started worrying about everyone’s special sensitivities, we sounded the charge for our own slow descent into mediocrity. The situation is grave, but not hopeless, provided we are not yet too timid to once again stand on the shoulders of giants and dare to do great things.