Tag Archives: morale

Buggy…

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Employee morale is generally one of those “tough nut to crack” problems. The picnics and certificates that get one employee all warm and fuzzy will likely tend to add fuel to another’s fire of discontent. How to get at the core of the problem is very rarely a one-oriental-cockroach_187x116size-fits-all kind of thing.

With that being said, I think the one morale boosting solution we can all agree on is getting rid of the insect infestations that plague the place like we’re running the Egypt exhibit at Mosesland. The drain flies that have taken up residence in the bathrooms for the last few months are bad enough. This week’s addition of cockroaches en mass really falls into a category well beyond what a cubicle-dweller should be expected to deal with.

Clogmia_Albipunctata_or_moth_flyI know funds are tight right now, but the solution really shouldn’t be just throwing more sticky traps into the corner and hoping for the best. Given the number of creatures I counted on the floor in the hallway this morning, we’re well into the realm of needing massive chemical intervention. Or possibly purifying the entire complex by fire. I’m not particularly repulsed by bugs but even I’ve reached the point where I’m starting to feel creepy crawly for no good reason other than knowing they’re there hiding in the dark recesses waiting to skulk over everything when the lights go out.

I’m not sure there’s enough Clorox in the state to make me feel OK about this one. So yeah, making things a little less buggy around the office might not cure all our ills, but it would be one giant leap in the right direction.

Going back…

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The trouble with being away from work for the better part of a week is that if you want to keep getting paid on a regular basis, you have to go back eventually. If I’m honest with you and myself, it was exhausting. Not in that way that you’re tired after a long day of chopping wood or being physically engaged, but in that very special way that leaves your brain feeling like it’s turned to jell that could ooze out your ear at any moment. Today was definitely a day like that.

I keep telling myself that it’s just a matter of getting back into the swing of things, but even while the joy of time off is still fresh in my mind I know that’s not really true. As I’m sitting here bashing at the keyboard, flanked by a steaming mug of fresh coffee, a few good ideas, and a couple of dogs, I know it’s not true at all. At best I’ll muck through tomorrow, the day after, and the ones that follow so I can get back to doing this as quickly as possible.

But hey, I like eating something other than Top Ramen and there are bills to pay, so before the sun’s up tomorrow I’ll be back at it. Maybe not with a spring in my step or a song in my heart, but sometimes just going back has to be good enough. Sometimes that’s the best you’ve got.

Seeing the forest…

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We had an awkward conversation at the office this morning. One of the most popular discussions happening around almost every one of Uncle Sam’s conference room tables these days is what the forced cuts of the sequester are going to mean for the job and for the individual employees. Since the almost universal answer is no one really knows yet, these conversations usually end in a great gnashing of teeth and another hour gone down the tubes. I’m pretty sure I know what those at echelons higher than reality are thinking though – that if they just plan hard enough, they can still figure out how to cram 40 hours of work into a legislatively-imposed 32 hour workweek.

In trying to account for and occupy every second of those 32 hours, they’re missing the broader point that in addition to the eight hours a week of “lost” time, people are also going to be using their sick and annual leave allotments just as they would under a 40-hour week – except now they’re using it over a shortened week, dramatically compressing the number of days available when leave can be taken. If pushed, I’d make an educated guess that a one-fifth reduction in the work week will actually result in the average office being staffed at somewhere between 50-60 percent on any given day during the furlough period.

If you want a crash course in my logic, here it goes: My personal observation is that on any given work day, about 15% of the total workforce is out of the office on some kind of approved leave. All other factors staying equal, with the sequester furlough (20%) and the use of leave (15%) 35% of the available pool of employees will be unavailable for work. Add in another 5% of the time when immoveable objects like mandatory training take place and you’re into the 40% unavailable range… So while the official talk is about a 20% reduction in work and the activities that will slow down and stop as a result of it, I tend to think someone is being rather optimistic. The real impact is going to be much closer to leaving only 60-65% of time available to actually get the job done.

Compile other intangibles like steadily declining morale, pay that’s likely to be frozen for at least three years, and general worry about being able to meet simple obligation like rent, food, and other expenses, with the direct negative effects of the sequester furlough, and you’ve got a recipe for intensely negative performance across the board. The problem, as far as I can tell, is no one is seeing the second and third order effects of this forest because the trees are so damned close. The media and certain elements on the Hill are fond of pointing out that the sequester hit and nothing happened. Those wheels are in motion and sooner rather than later the real impacts are going to start making themselves felt. That’s when the hard decisions are going to get made about what tasks get done day-to-day and which get tossed over the side for lack of time to do them… and that’s going to be when the real awkward conversations start.

There’s a difference between being friends and being friendly…

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I like the people I work with well enough. By that I mean I don’t generally want to fold, spindle, or mutilate them by the end of the day. After some of the colleagues I’ve had in the past, I consider that a win. We spend eight hours a day with each other and for the most part manage to stay remarkably friendly with one another. That’s where the problem seems to start.

I’m perfectly willing to be friendly with everyone in the office, but I’m not particular interested in being their friend. I don’t want to come over to their homes for dinner. I don’t particularly want to hang out with them in any setting that’s something other than the office. They’re nice enough people mostly, but I’ve got my own friends already thanks. Adding them to the mix seems to blur the line a little too much between business and personal lives and I’m not cool with that at all. Maybe I’m the deviant in the group, but I’m just not interested in hanging out with my boss or the guy I spend 40-hours a week sitting next to. I see enough of them already.

I completely understand that the manager’s handbook says we have to do team building activities, but since it’s building the work team, how about we do it on work time, huh? Picking a random Wednesday and buying pizza for everyone would have been way better for my morale than royally jacking up one of the two days a week I actually get away from the office. Since I don’t detect any malicious intent here, I’m writing this one off as a strong concept hobbled by poor execution… but let’s try not to make the same mistake again.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Happy birthday: or Here’s your letter of depreciation…

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My birthday is right around the corner and there’s no way I’d rather celebrate than by receiving a condescending form letter from the executive suite telling me how great an opportunity it is for me to be a part of the team. Seriously? I’m sure that someone at echelons above reality thought that this sounded like a good idea. A real morale booster for the Uberboss to “recognize” the line employees’ ability to stay alive and employed for another year while reminding them “how good they have it.” Yep. That’s the ticket!

When you combine the condescension with the truly monumental management failures we’ve see on a daily basis, it’s really more like a letter of depreciation than anything else. If you really want to congratulate me, how about a “59 minutes” and letting me head home early to celebrate my “big day” in the company of people who actually give a rat’s ass. That I’d appreciate.

But your letter? You can go ahead stuff that in your inbox.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of previously de-published blogs appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Analog hell…

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If I had to take a guess, I’d say that they average people who work in the same gilded cage that I do have an average age of somewhere north of 50. That puts the majority of them squarely in the analog world… You know, the one where people wear watches, know how to use typewriters, and complain about people to send text messages. The little corner of this world that where I pretend to have influence has an average age hovering somewhere around 33 or 34 years and… and this is where worlds inevitably collide – the digital versus the analog.

I bring this up because we’re in the midst of ordering a number of things that only make sense if you think in analog… Like wall clocks with our organizational logo on them. That’s nice enough and all, but in looking around just inside the four walls of my cube, I count at least five things that tell me the time that has been synchronized with the network to be reasonably close to the “official” U.S. time as reported from National Institute of Standards and Technology. I’m not exactly sure why we need something that’s going to give a less accurate, battery-powered approximation of the time hanging across the room on the wall, but we’re going to have ‘em, by God. It’s not a big deal, just a nod to doing things the old fashioned way for a less than apparent reason.

That pretty much sets the tone for the next “must have” item in the order… ergonomic, screen printed, mouse pads for everyone! The logic here, of course, is that a branded mouse pad is just the kind of item that will help build unit cohesion and boost morale. Really? A mouse pad? That’ll be a great way to make sure out trackballs don’t… oh, wait… No one has trackballs any more. We have optical mice that bounce a friggin’ laser off your desk… or your leg… or the wall… or your dog’s back in a pinch. Unless your desk is made out of lexan or you have one of those really cool sheet glass covers on your faux-hardwood credenza, it’s pretty much something that’ll be going in a drawer and never seeing the light of day again.

Please, for the love of God, the saints, and all things good and holy, people… stop thinking in analog. The digital camera isn’t going to steal your soul and your laptop, even your crust old Dell 620s, can be used for more than writing email and Word documents. And another thing, stop asking for tethering on your Blackberries and aircards for your laptops. It’s the same interwebs your tying into. We’re not talking about Mission-to-Mars technology here, folks… all I’m asking is that you figure out how to use basic office equipment. Sigh.