One of the consequences of getting dark in the middle of the afternoon is that now pretty much all I want to do from 6:00 onward is go to bed. That was a perfectly acceptable feeling when it got dark at 8:30 and bed was only ninety minutes away. It’s less ok now that between the time I get to crawl into bed and the time I start wanting to do that, there are four hours that need to be somewhat productive or the cleaning, laundry, and other activities that keep a household running are going to pile up to unacceptable levels. And so with that, I once again turn to the internet for an answer. Is there something, anything, that anyone uses to gin up motivation to be productive when it’s dark outside? Coffee is getting to be my only salvation, but somehow adding another pot to the one I already drink during daylight hours seems a touch excessive. I’ve always had some issues during this time of year, but this is getting ridiculous. I either need to find some energy or accept the fact that I’m going to go to bed at 7PM until the days start getting longer again.
Tag Archives: motivation
Mr. Freeze…
It snowed in West Tennessee today, but that’s not exactly the freeze that is troubling me at the moment. It seems that news of my imminent departure for Pennsylvania was broken prematurely. Though not quite ready to retract the story, I’m moving it from the “cautiously optimistic” column to the “possible” category. It seems that in the interests of driving down operating expenses, Uncle has imposed a 30-day hiring freeze for civilian positions with the Department of the Army. Tacking that 30 days onto the 20 I had already waited to get the official offer and I can’t in good conscience rely on seeing a positive outcome. I suspect the human resources policy geniuses deep in the bowels of the Pentagon are using this 30-day hiring holiday to devise even more diabolical procedures that will make hiring and transfers even more complicated, cumbersome, and time consuming than they already are. None of this bodes well for a speedy exodus from the current unpleasantness. My expectations of enjoying springtime in Pennsylvania are fading rapidly.
This is why I’m generally happier when I’m in full pessimist mode – disappointments there don’t come as a surprise. They’re just the normal state of affairs and when things did go right, it’s an occasional pleasant surprise. I don’t know that I could ever be a real optimist. I couldn’t tolerate being so regularly disappointed when things go to hell in a handcart. At this point I’m driving on purely because I trust absolutely in my own abilities and the simple fact another six months of uncertainty is better than the absolute certainty of being stuck where I am. Just call me Mr. Freeze.
Terms…
It’s possible that I’m starting to come to terms with living in a state of perpetual uncertainty. Maybe there’s a two week maximum on anxiety of this sort. After taking counsel in a dear friend last night, I’m reminded that getting things done the Army way can take much, much longer than should be reasonably expected. It’s not so much that I don’t care as it is that I’ve seemed to move beyond the point where fretting about it is worth the effort. It’s really an occasion where all there is to be done is lie back and think of England. The alternative is to pick up the phone and start ranting like a lunatic at the guy I’m hoping to work for at some point in the near future. That would probably be the operative definition of a situation other than good at this point. So, until further notice, I wait… and wait… and wait. At some point even the bureaucracy has to grind its way into an actual decision, right?
47
Usually the arrival of the holiday season leads to some of the better posts around here, but at the moment the creative juices are mostly blocked. It’s a function of distraction more than anything else. The creative juices should start flowing freely again as soon as the current untenable position gets resolved. Even in the event that no resolution is forthcoming, I’m cautiously optimistic that the sheer weight of human stupidity on display during the holidays will be enough to get me over this latest hump. Once that sweet, sweet day of resolution comes, though, I have a feeling that you’ll know it because you won’t be able to stop the flow of new posts.
For those keeping track at home, the statistics are currently: 47 resumes submitted, 15 flat rejections, 1 referral, and 0 interviews. I’m drawing in the law of large numbers and to paraphrase Grant, I intend to fight on this line if it takes all Winter.
No confidence…
After the British loss at Yorktown, the government led by Lord North collapsed in a Parliamentary vote of no confidence. The sitting members of Parliament communicated to King George III that they no longer had faith in the Prime Minister to effectively set policy. In representative government, the mandate to lead comes, directly or indirectly, from the led. I’ve been thinking lately that it’s a pity we don’t see the application of no confidence motions in more places. If we learned anything from the unfortunate case of Lord North (and from Braveheart), it’s that men don’t follow titles. Sure, they’ll go along for a while – as long as things are going well or as long as they don’t have options. But the moment they lose confidence or when a better opportunity presents itself, their support for your mandate to lead will fade away like a mist. You’ll look around one day and find yourself alone with your bad decisions, resented for your presumption of unearned loyalty, and ultimately made as irrelevant as the rock the water in a stream simply flows around.
In appreciation of dogs…
The more time I spend around people, the more I like my dogs. There are plenty of people I like well enough, but after a day at the office, there’s nothing better than coming home to these two. They’re not going to want to talk or ask questions. They’re not going to need a PowerPoint on short notice. And they’re not going to call an impromptu meeting. They’re mostly going to be happy with the same dinner they’ve had every day for two years, hanging out on the patio, and an occasional scratch behind the ears. Dogs are decidedly uncomplicated like that. When the world where you spend eight hours a day is doing its level best to go sailing off the rails, they’re an amazing bit of dependable normalcy… and possibly the last bulwark between me and bludgeoning people into a coma with a three hole punch.
All resonable offers…
I want to write about anything other than the same old topics. I’m feeling more an more like a broken record and that doesn’t make good blogging. Cathartic for me, yes. Good blogging, no. Now and then I seem to hit these obsessive points (big surprise, right?) when everything I do and think about is focused like a laser on one thing, one goal. Focus is a good thing. Pouring endlessly over job announcements, making daily happy to glad changes to the ol’ resume, and preemptive house hunting only get you so far and seem to be a leading cause of sleep deprivation and stomach churn. That kind of focus feels, at least at the moment, less than good. The real problem of putting maximum effort into chasing one thing is that it doesn’t leave much time, inclination or energy for doing anything else. That seems to be the tradeoff. At some point the law of large numbers has to kick one in for the score, right? I’m ready to get to whatever’s next and all reasonable offers will be considered.
Good days have a price…
If you’re a wanna be writer whose best blogs come out of days that piss you off the most, the price of ending the day on a good note is that it severely restricts the available pool of material. Sure, the blood pressure is a few points lower, but I’m paying good money for meds to keep that in check so I don’t really need the help. Besides, I need the material, because let’s face it, sunshine and lollipops generally don’t equal great reading.
The good news, in this case, is that there are way more bad days than there use to be so good content should be in ready supply. Until the next big batch of stupid comes along, I’ll find something to keep writing about… But it’s not going to be sunshine and lollipops, I can guaran-damn-tee it.
Missing Muse…
They say that writers generally have something that drives them to write. They have some kind of muse that guides the creative process. Regrettably, any kind of muse that I have ever had is eluding me at the moment. I can’t think of any new ideas, let alone any that might be marginally interesting for someone else to read. I guess this is the infamous writer’s block. It’s not like I’m trying to churn out the great American novel or even less than insightful pop history. All I really want to be able to do is sit down and pound out a few pithy words on the day that was. It would be helpful if this happened about four nights a week, but I’m willing to settle for three.
So, yeah, when it comes to blogging, I’m almost completely blocked. If anyone has any recommendations, I’m entertaining all ideas at this point. Fortunately, this block hasn’t impacted my ability to churn out page upon page of policy, recommendations, and email, so work proceeds unabated.
Uninspired…
I’m just not feeling it today, so I’ll be phoning in this post. I’m not sick and I don’t really feel bad in any way other than having no motivation at the moment. Seriously, I can’t think of a remotely interesting thing to say tonight. If I were to make a swag, I’d say that it’s probably got more to do with not getting enough sleep as I probably should be so far this week. Time was when getting four or five hours was enough to keep me running hard all day. This week it seems like that’s just enough to barely let me scrape by. Maybe I’ll take my own advice and crash early tonight… but lord won’t I feel lame trying to go to bed before 9:00!
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