Tag Archives: people

What Annoys Jeff this Week…

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Starting the week on Tuesday threw me off this week. In case anyone is wondering, that’s why What Annoys Jeff this Week didn’t make an appearance as scheduled this week. It’s a couple of days late this time around, but you surely didn’t think I’d pass the week without anything annoying did you? It’s been a short week, so the annoyance has been limited, but here’s what made the list:

The United States Postal Service. I assure you the 1 ounce of paint I’m trying to purchase is not intended as a weapon of mass destruction. All I want to do is touch up a ding on my rear fender. Call it toxic and hazardous if you want, but there’s no reason it should take a small package anywhere between one and three weeks to travel from Oregon to Maryland.

People who don’t take non-verbal hints. As a general rule, if you’re talking in my general direction and I’m not making eye contact I’m trying to give you a subtle hint that you can stop talking at any time. Same goes when you sand behind me and sigh hoping I’ll turn around and look interested. I’m a simple man. If you have to ask yourself if I’m interested, it’s a fair bet that I’m not.

Comcast. Your DVR sucks. It has sucked since the day you brought it here, but it especially sucks lately. As much as your helpdesk likes to think that powering off and waiting is a magical resolution to every problem, I have to tell you that it isn’t. I’m going to give you one chance to make things right and then I’ll call DirecTV. Lord knows they have their own issues, but I’ve never had the service problems with them I have with you.

Hung…

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There’s a long list of perks when it comes to not being the boss. One of the big ones is that you’re not the guy running interference and providing cover for a bunch of other people when things don’t go exactly according to plan. Keeping your people out of hot water comes with the territory; even when that means you have to take the body blows yourself. At least that’s how it was when I was a boss.

Look, I’ve been around this man’s Big Government Agency a long time and I know that occasionally a few shots are going to get through. It happens. But when it happens more often than not, I start getting nervous… and that’s when my very strong tendency towards self preservation kicks in because I’m not in the habit of letting myself get hung out to dry for anyone.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Something doesn’t seem quite right…

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I was in a position where I actually needed to go to Target today. Under most circumstances, I try to avoid that type of venue between December 1st and the middle of January, but I found myself there this morning needing an eclectic mix of groceries and sundry household goods. And with that, the stage is set…

While minding my own business and searching for the Wonder bread, it occurs to me that Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. People go to great lengths to show how jolly they are by decorating their homes and lawns, throwing parties, and exchanging $15 gifts with their coworkers. Since I’m a hopeless watcher of people, I noticed that no one around me actually seemed jolly. In fact they seemed downright miserable… jamming laden carts into one another, wading through scowling crowds to get to on section or another, scarcely keeping an eye on the kids they had in tow, unless it was to yell at them to come back.

This is the happiest time of the year and for some reason, something doesn’t seem quite right. It’s amazing what you can see when no one knows, or cares, that you’re watching.

Why is it so hard…

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…to get a goddamned steak cooked medium-well? I swear to Christ, I can’t get a fucking slice of beef cooked right here anywhere. Next time I go out to dinner, I’m taking my own flip chart showing the “levels of doneness.” I’m not asking every place to be a damned Morton’s or anything, just to leave a very light strip of pink in the middle. If I can do it with my own limited cooking skills, surely people who cook dozens of steaks a day can manage it with something approaching consistency.

Every passing day reaffirms my complete lack of faith in the ability of the general populace to manage anything more complicated than breathing with any degree of accuracy.

I should have gone to grad school to be a hermit. I think I’d enjoy the lack of interaction.