The American Plan…

I’ve been focusing on some minutia in my last few posts and realized it was probably time for a new rant. Not an epic rant this time, but still, it’s a start.

I started taking my first grad class yesterday. I’m working on an MBA through U. of Phoenix. I’m pretty much up to speed with the internet and working “virtually,” so I figured it couldn’t be all that hard to take classes online too. I may have made a slight tactical misunderestimation of the level of work that was going to be involved. I was expecting a cakewalk… a wham, bam, thank you ma’am, here’s your degree kind of experience. I’ve spent the better part of the last two nights reading my online “book” and responding to a stack of discussion questions, posting my biography, and saying “hello” to my new classmates. I didn’t sign up for this to be hard. I wanted something for nothing. I wanted the American Plan, goddamnit.

Oh well, what the fuck is one more thing to do every day. Bloody hell.

Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong… or The Big Picture

Let me give you the set up on this one… I am leaving for Italy next Tuesday and will be missing all of the last week of my current grad class. Not a problem. The instructor knows I’ll be gone, blessed it, and even gave me some delightfully evil ideas about how to subvert the electronic attendance tracking system, so I could still get credit for the week.

Knowing that I would be missing the final team assignment, I made a proposal to my teammates last night that I would be willing to take on this week’s assignment solo and post a rough draft for everyone to edit as a way to compensate the group for not contributing to the product next week. Fine. Great. Everyone loved the idea to more or less balance the workload over the next two weeks… That is everyone by the one chick who thinks the purpose of an MBA is to “actually learn something.”

Personally, I see the purpose of the course and the overall MBA program as much more fundamental: Pass. Simply put, it’s a resume line I need to move on with the next steps of my career. Sure, I am learning a good deal along the way, but at the same time, I live in a world where the phrase of the day is “go along to get along.” Honestly, if any of us were really all that serious, we’d be at Wharton or Tuck… not at the damned University of Phoenix… and online to boot. So before you get all high and mighty about diminishing your educational opportunities, let’s consider the big picture for a bit… bitch.

A rant revisited…

I’ve covered this ground once before, but feel compelled to go across it (at least) one more time. Let me begin by stating, for the record, that Phoenix is grad school for slackers. I recognized that when I started the process and each class serves as a reminder of the fact. Theoretically, however, I also recognize that everyone who is taking these classes has an undergraduate degree and has at least three years in a “professional” workplace. I am consistently amazed at the inability of these, theoretically, educated individuals to string five hundred words into a coherent thought or argument. Need to meet a deadline? Forgedaboudit.

We all have things we would rather be doing after work than tapping out a well-reasoned argument for why human resource management sucks in most organizations, but goddamn it already. Suck it up and get it done, already. I really don’t think I have abnormally high expectations of people and never expect anything from anyone that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.

I’m tired of hearing that your boss made you work late (I put in an hour and a half on OT this afternoon). I don’t care that tonight is your wife’s birthday (Nothing like a little forward planning, huh, ace?). And I don’t care that little Suzie had the sniffles last night and you’re tired (When did your personal life become my problem?). I’m interested in results and you asshats are making me look bad. There ought to be a law that keeps these kind of fucktards from drawing down the resources of the productive members of society.