Crossing over…

In most situations there is a magical line; a point to which you can run cursing and screaming, raising six kinds of hell, and still mostly get away with it. That’s particularly true if you manage to do whatever else you do very, very well. Of course there are times when the exact location of that line is a little hard to identify, so you’re left wondering how many more times you can poke at something before getting a swift and overwhelmingly negative response. Because I’ve inherited a mile-wide malcontent streak from my father, maybe I just tend to find myself in this position more often than other people who have learned to keep their heads down and mouths shut. Some people seem born to be rainmakers and princes of the universe. Me, I’m fairly sure I was born to follow those guys around tossing rocks at them and cracking jokes. I’m good with that.

Blogging has been a godsend for me. First, it gives me an outlet for writing, which aside from reading, is probably my first great love. Second, it gives me a fantastic venue to get things off my chest that would be wholly inappropriate in any other venue. The only real problem is that just like in the brick and mortar world, even here there are lines that I dare not cross. Sure, I’m happy to slide right up to them and maybe even nudge a few toes over it, but because it’s open to the public in the truest sense, I have to self moderate. Truth is, for every post that I publish here, there’s easily at least on I got halfway through before I realized there was no way I was going to say that out loud in front of God, a couple of dozen regular readers, and anyone else who happens to stumble on this site.

Most everyone who knows me gets that I’ve been having a love-hate relationship with the job for the better part of the last year. Lord knows there are enough lines here on the topic that it’s pretty obvious. But really, all of that just barely scratches the surface of things I’ve really like to say if given the opportunity. A lot of things don’t make the cut because I’m not willing to drag other people here by name to unbraid them. Other things, some of the best things, really, don’t make the cut for the simple reason that I’m not making my living writing a blog and do make a pretty good living at my actual job. I really wish it was different, because I have some great stories to tell and plenty of people I’d love to publicly call out (actually, that number is probably less than half a dozen who really deserve the works).

The point is, I’m working to find a balance between what to write and when to keep my pen to myself. I’ve made a career of finding that line in the real world (most of the time, anyway), but it doesn’t exactly translate one-to-one into electrons. Maybe it’s for the best that some things don’t get said… But damn won’t it be cathartic when I can cross that line, sit down, and say it all out loud.

– Posted via iPad.

Starting strong…

If nothing else, I can say that I started the day strong. When others were getting booted and being timed out on the AT&T and Apple websites, I managed to reserve my iPhone 4 for pick up next Thursday. By 5:50 this morning, I had my confirmation email and realized, somewhat disturbingly, that I had reached what was likely to be the high point of the day. Seriously, on a work day, what’s going to be better then the moment you confirm that you’re going to have your hands on this summer’s neatest new toy?

All I need to do now is show up, hand over $199 + tax, sign a new two year contract that I have no intention of staying in longer than a year, and wait in line for the 7 AM opening of the local Apple Store. It’s like any other high holy day, except with bottled water and granola. And it’s possibly the only time of year when I don’t really mind standing in line and being forced to socialize with total strangers. Of course then there’s the inevitable anger when iTunes grinds to a halt under the volume of people trying to activate new phones. That’s part of the price of being a ridiculously early adopter.

Despite what I consider one of the better starts, the day ended, as most days do… with my being annoyed. However, I wasn’t violently annoyed in that wanting to bludgeon someone with a desk chair kind of way, so perhaps I’m making progress and getting through the anger stage into acceptance… or is that indifference? Eh, who can tell the difference anyway. See, I’m growing as a person.

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Not all bad…

It’s obvious by now that I do a fair amount of complaining here and that alot of that complaining is about my job in one way or another. Maybe it’s not the most productive use of time, but It’s a good way from keeping me from going ’round the bend and actually giving voice to these thoughts in the office. Who knows, maybe in a virtual world the difference between what I say here and what I say there doesn’t matter all that much. In fairness I have to admit, though, that despite the complaints, the job does have it’s perks. The fact that federal holidays are all actual holidays is a definite plus. The fact that between annual leave and several varieties of comp time, I’ve got what some would consider a disturbing amount of time off I need to schedule between now and the first week of January is another one. It means that sometimes on a Thursday afternoon before a three-day weekend, I can decide that a four-day weekend would be better. Sure, you’re technically supposed to schedule leave two weeks in advance, but since Uncle operates with a skeleton crew on such Fridays, as long as at least one person is sticking around to answer the phone, most spur of the moment requests are approved as a matter of course.

So now I’m off to start my newly extended weekend… by crawling into bed at 9:30 just like it was any other Thursday. Just call me Mr. Excitement.

Get back…

Between vacation and a few days on the road for work, I’ve been gone for almost two weeks. Time was that I would eat that kind of road stand for breakfast and ask for more, but the truth is that I find it all rather wearing these days. It seems that at the house with the dogs is the only place I really want to be for any extended time. Being a hermit by nature, that’s not really surprising, but it’s something that’s become more pronounced over the last few years. I wonder if it has something to do with picking up a few more birthdays or if seeking “home” is something we’re just hardwired to do. No real theories on it, just an observation made from one more hotel room on one more Thursday night on the road. Hopefully I’ll be able to clear out of here early enough to pick up the dogs tomorrow evening and then settle in for the weekend. Here’s hoping.

Large groups and pigs…

Receiving guidance from on high is always exciting… Especially when no one is asking for it. Guidance on how to deal with the impending arrival of the swine flu is even better, if only for the comic value of the United States Government cowering in the face of something that caused fewer deaths this week than drunk drivers have this afternoon. After vast sums spent on Defense and Homeland Security, the best we’ve come up with is an advisory for personnel to “avoid large crowds and pigs.” Give me a roll of duct tape and a few plstic sheets and we should be good to go.

Road stand…

After what seems like weeks, this four day road stand is coming to an end. I’m obviously rusty at this since I’m headed back to Memphis just about wiped out. I’ve probably been spoiled by too many trips where I’m the one setting the agenda. Four days of team cohesion seems to be just about the limit of my endurance these days. I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to getting back to a place where I have the only set of keys to my vehicle, where dinner isn’t a lesson in group decision making, and where I don’t need someone to walk me around the building to unlock doors. I miss my little kingdom and look forward to getting back to it.

With less than three weeks back, I’m totally ready for another vacation. Now if there were just something worth doing within driving distance of Memphis. Where is the guy serving rum punch when you need him…

Over it…

Let me start off by saying it’s good to be back on the east coast. For the most part people here make sense to me in that they have places to go and basically want to be left alone to get there in as expeditious a way as possible. With that being said, all I can say about this class is that I’m basically over it. I’m not saying that I’m ready to go back to my actual job, just that I’d rather be doing something other than this.

When the shoe is on the other foot…

From time to time you’ve seen me rail against the incompetence of management, their unresponsiveness to questions, and their apparent lack of interest in much of what’s going on around them. Well, with 10 days into my stint as a supervisor, I’ve already found myself hopelessly overwhelmed with paperwork, dangerously close to missing key milestone dates, and utterly annoyed at the ability of a supervisor to actually direct any work. For the last ten days, I’ve managed to call meetings, beat my BlackBerry to near unconsciousness, and not personally do any actual work. It’s a vicious cycle really; the more I engage in a project, the less I am able to actually do with it… and lord, don’t even get me started on the information papers, memos, and policies I’m supposed to be reading and approving. But damn don’t I hate it now that the shoe is on the other foot.

Outside looking in…

Having had some small role in every major natural disaster since Hurricane Isabel in 2003, sitting at home watching Gustav do his thing has been kind of an interesting experience. Actually, I’m not at all sure what I should be doing with myself. I have a bag about half packed as I really had expected to get a call by now. So all that’s really left at this point is to watch and wait. Maybe I’ll get to sit this one out and get all of my information of questionable credibility from the cable news channels. And since the grass is always greener on the other side, I’ll spend the next week wishing I was doing whatever it is I’m not.

Scheming…

Is it bad that I have only been back to work for three days and I’m already scheming about where I want to go on vacation next time? In between now and then, though, I have a few obligatory trips I need to make. One of my cronies from the office is getting married in October in Williamsburg so I anticipate being up there for an extended weekend and probably a “pass-through” visit to Western Maryland on my way back to Tennessee. Then of course there is the obligatory Christmas visit. After that, though, it’s pretty much an open slate. Maybe somewhere warm with a rum economy in the spring. If the euro would ever stop beating up on the dollar, I’d love to go back to Europe but I don’t foresee that happening any time in the immediate future.

It’s not so much that I’m out of good ideas as it is that I want to make these trips count since they’re getting to be pretty damned few and far between. One of the biggest problems with west Tennessee is that getting anywhere is an expedition that involves an overpriced airline ticket (for a hub airport, MEM is ridiculously expensive) out of the city or an all day drive in any direction. In the interim, I’m hoping to coax a few old friends to Memphis with the promise of world-class barbecue and… uhhhh… Bible study.