Wired…

Saturday morning is usually my time to attempt to bring order out of chaos here at the house… laundry, cleaning, etc. While I’m not quite a neat freak, I do tend towards a touch of OCD about where things are and how they are organized. It’s not so much that everything has a place and it must be in it as much as it’s just a deep-seated desire for everything to have a place when I’m done with it. For the most part that’s easy enough to manage… until I come to the kitchen counter. The coffee pot, toaster oven, microwave, and liquor all have their place; no problems there. My current OCD-driven mission is to find a good way to manage all the various charging equipment that keeps me tethered to the electronic universe.

Without accounting for any future additions, my “must charge” arsenal includes charging cables for the following: iPhone, bluetooth, BlackBerry, e-cigs, and camera batteries. The result, as expected, is something worse than the spaghetti behind the average television set strewn across a goodly sized chunk of my kitchen counter. I’ve looked at several “charging station” options but all of the ones I’ve seen in the flesh feel a little shoddy; mainly pressboard and plastic. I love the concept, but so far hate the execution, which is why I’ve resisted the temptation to order some of what I’ve seen online. The simple solution would be having a power strip sitting full-time on the counter and that just looks, well, bad to me.

I know some of you out there reading are bigger technophiles than I am, so my question: What is your solution to make charging multiple devices slightly less tacky?

Doing without…

Last Wednesday for about six hours my employer joined the ranks of such forward-looking leaders in information technology as Iran and China and blocked network access to Google. Have you tried looking up information without Google in the past few years? It’s not pretty… I don’t care how awesome Microsoft says Bing works, I couldn’t find a damn thing using it. After satisfying myself that the issue wasn’t with Google (i.e. scouring places like CNet and BoyGeniusReport for rants about their epic fail) I called our vaunted Enterprise Service Desk (ESD). The conversation went something like this:

  • Jeff: I’m having trouble getting to Google on my PC, but I can get to it from my Blackberry.
  • ESD: Oh, that’s a problem with Google.
  • Jeff: Ummm… No. I’m using Google on my phone right now.
  • ESD: Oh… Hummm… Yeah… It’s a problem with Google.
  • Jeff: Thanks.
  • ESD: Does that resolve your help ticket?
  • Jeff: *Click*

As it turns out, the disruption wasn’t a problem with Google (I’m shocked, shocked I tell you). Apparently our network operations office decided to start blocking the definitive name in web searching after two individuals “got a virus from Google.” I’m pretty sure they meant they got a virus from something they found using Google. I didn’t have the patience to ask, although it seems like it would be an important distinction to make if you were in charge of network ops. The good news is that the Great Firewall is down now and we can once again use google as a verb.

If an optimist is someone who expects the best and a pessimist is someone who expects the worst, what is the proper term for someone who has no expectations at all? I’m pretty sure having expectations was where I went wrong in this scenario.

Site Admin…

One of the great regrets I have in terms of education is that I never learned the nuts and bolts side of computing. I can generally make them do what I want, but don’t have a clue when it comes to explaining why it actually happened. To be honest, the in depth details of why it works isn’t as important to me as knowing that it’s going to do what I expect each and every time. That said, I would like to know more about designing and managing my own website. I have photos hosted on one site, a blog hosted on another, email on a third, and a Facebook account that can take on a life of its own when I let it. I’ve integrated with Google for most of those services, but that doesn’t quite make it a seamless experience. In a perfect world I’d like to have all of my “outward facing” web presence integrated into a single space. I’ve been sitting on a handful of domain names for the last few years without really doing anything with them (of course the one I really want is already owned… and has been static since 2006… grrr). In the vast amount of free time that I have, maybe it’s time to teach myself a little about site development.

As always, if anyone has any suggestions as far as reading material for a complete noob, I’m all ears. It’s going to be a good, long while before anyone sees any results, but everything has to start somewhere.

A fading Constellation…

When his fleet reached Mexico in 1519, Cortes disembarked and promptly burned the ships under his command to the waterline, thus cementing his position in the New World and ensuring that his men had the proper motivation – no available avenue for retreat. That’s a profound statement of confidence… if you don’t get yourself killed in the process. Of course if you fail, you do it brazenly and become just another crackpot who sailed “off the edge of the world” so to speak.

I worry that the Administration’s de-funding of the Constellation Program today effectively burns our collective ships; perhaps before we’ve managed to unload the supplies we’ll need for the next step in exploration. Rather than a great enterprise of exploration (say, something like taking over a continent or putting American astronauts back on the moon), our modern Captain-General is casting his men to the wind and expecting each to find their own way. Shutting down Constellation ensures that the critical mass of intuitional knowledge left at NASA will dissipate across dozens of companies and that none of them will have the capability to replicate what Constellation could have been.

I’ve been a champion of the free market my entire adult life and there’s no doubt that the private sector can “do” space flight. NASA is well stocked now with contractors working for United Space Alliance in the twilight of the shuttle program, but government has always been the driver of space exploration, with its massive contracts and goals of shooting the moon. Outsourcing exploration is abdicating the role that governments have filled since men sailed wooden ships to the undiscovered coast of the New World on behalf of the Old World’s royal houses. Such exploration was subsidized by governments until there was a viable economic reason for the private sector to take over – reasons like Virginia tobacco, South American gold, and Caribbean sugar.

I don’t see how we’re there yet. Apollo gave us the first glimpse of how computing power would change the world. Three generations of rockets and the shuttle have given us communications satellites that tie the world together and telescopes that can see nearly to the moment of creation. Until the private sector has a profit motive in space exploration other than government largess, I worry that today could be the real end of the age of exploration.

Hot and cold…

After a day to consume the hands on reports, read as much as I could get my hands on, and look at the iPad from every possible angle I have to admit that my initial “must have” lust has run from hot to cold ever hour or so. I’m looking for a device that will let me eliminate the 8’’x10’’ folio I tote around from meeting to meeting to take notes on; something that will let me do basic Office editing, view pdf files, check in on Facebook, maybe drop a quick post to the blog, and keep my calendar and email at the tip of my fingers while doing those other things… and optimally, I wanted to be able to do more than one of those tasks at once.

As the iPhone has evolved over the last three years, many of the original missing features (read: cut-and-paste, mms, etc) have been added, but multi-tasking has remained elusive. Seeing the released details of the iPad seems to indicate that it remains a function that will be missing in action on this device as well. Working in a word document and having to close it in order to open the web browser or messenger is annoying on a phone… and it might just be a deal breaker in something I’m going to want to use as a quasi-laptop replacement.

Specs and details aside, the iPad is one sexy beast in terms of design and I can see how it could be a must-have device for pure consumption of media content. I won’t even complain (too much) about another Apple device tied to the anchor that is AT&T Mobility’s 3G network. Of course release day is still a long time off and that leaves a lot of time for more details, and updated iPhone OS, and for Steve to make an appearance to announce “one more thing…” So for now, I’m withholding judgment while leaning towards wanting the new toy despite its apparent limitations. Check back with me in April and I’m sure my lust will know no bounds.

Fanboy…

I’m hopelessly addicted to all things new and shiny… Gadgets make me happy in a way most people will never fully understand. That I’ve switched my allegiance to the bright and shiny products developed by Apple for my computing and telecommunications needs is letting me develop a personal pool of electronic gadgets that is becoming more and more tightly integrated. My phone talks to my laptop talks to the cloud… If satellite phone service ever gets to a point of being almost reasonable on price, I’d have nearly 24/7/365 tie-in to the grid. I get a warm fuzzy by being able to reach out at any time from any place… Ironic, I know, for someone who doesn’t have all that much use for people. But where I don’t know much about people, I do know that I like having access to the data that populates the web. While maybe not the sum total of human knowledge, it’s getting damnedably close to the sum total of human knowledge that most of us will ever need to know. The more data that I have available at any given time, the more I like it.

Tomorrow, I’m hoping to hear an announcement out of San Francisco that will add one more layer to connectivity. Apple’s iPad, iSlate, iWhatever should fill the gap between where it’s inappropriate to have a cell phone out and about and where a laptop could be considered overkill. I’m thinking here about 2-3 day road trips, a bevy of staff and project meetings, and all manner of places around the house and the office. I’m thinking here of something that could reasonably replace the pens and legal pads that I tote from meeting to meeting and from city to city… One more link in the chain of perpetual connectivity tied to the cloud by 3G and WiFi.

I’ve been a slobbering fool for technology long enough to know that many “game changers” aren’t… But my last two years with Apple have taught me to expect the unexpected and that sometimes game changers are exactly that. I know some will argue that other companies have done it first, but they would be hard pressed to argue that any previous attempt at a true tablet is as elegant in form or as integrated with a hardware family as whatever Apple rolls out tomorrow. I’m planning to be all geeked out and tuned in to the real-time tech bloggers tomorrow afternoon at 12:00 CST as Steve throws down the gauntlet one more time. This ought to be sweet.

Feel the power(point)…

Let me start out by saying that many, many of you have probably forgotten more about Microsoft Office than I’ll ever know. I don’t make any claim on being an expert or even an advanced user, but I can weave my way through most of the basic functions without causing too much turmoil… Like creating and editing a well-structured memo or building basic spreadsheets.

What I really want to know tonight is how the hell you get to be a GS-12 or higher without being able to put information into a pretty straightforward PowerPoint presentation that someone has taken the time to structure for you. Seriously, all that needed done was adding numbers to replace the “xx/xx” and using actual words to “fill in the blanks.” *sigh* And it needed to be done last Friday, not at 11:55 on Wednesday! All I can say in your defense is that you’re either too stupid or too lazy to burden the taxpayer. Then again, why would you work when you know someone is going to save your ass at the last minute and do the work for you. I guess there’s not much incentive to be an overachiever… Unless more work is its own reward.

It’s the 21st century, people… Technology isn’t going anywhere. Either figure it out, retire, or get out there and see if you can win us a Darwin Award. Since you’re already doing the least you can do, let’s make that a stretch goal for the year.

I may not go to heaven, but hope you go to hell. Asshats.

Just an old fashioned guy…

I’ve been seeing a lot of articles lately about the Kindle, Nook, and various other e-book readers… and I’ve decided that I like real books. I like the way they feel in your hand and the way the paper smells. I like that there is something tactile about reading a book; that the binding has just the right amount of give. I like that a book is a physical manifestation of the knowledge printed between the covers.

I know that I’m about as big a fan of technology as anyone out there, but I just can get behind the whole e-book thing. I’m ok with a cell phone being the size of a business card. I’m ok that my laptop has far more computing power than all the moon missions combined. I have a terminal addiction to the latest and greatest bright, shiny, and new technology… except for this one thing. So that’s my line in the sand. I’m sticking with books made from paper. It’s been good enough for everyone since the dawn of civilization… so I guess that makes me an old fashioned guy.

Silent but deadly…

The good news: Electric cars are going to save the universe, polar bears, and oil. The bad news: Electric cars are sneaking up on poor, defenseless people in parking lots and violently attacking them… At least according to the article in this morning’s Washington Post. That’s right! Electric cars are about to be deemed too quiet by the National Highway Safety Board and now pose a clear and present danger to unsuspecting pedestrians, cyclists, and that drunk guy on “World’s Dumbest” who drives his lawn tractor on the interstate. Thankfully, it seems our ever-industrious car industry is working on deciding what kind of sound these new cars should make. Leading contenders seem to be some kind of chime, or a little tune, or maybe even that whirring sound the Jetsons’ car made. Yeah, that would sound sweet on the Beltway during rush hour.

I suppose it’s too much to hope that people will just learn to actually look both ways before walking out into the street. Seems like we’re intent on spending a billion dollars to solve a $.75 problem. The capacity of people to be stupid never ceases to amaze me.

You can find the inspiration for this rant here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/22/AR2009092204290.html

Pulling the plug…

So after a long consideration, I’ve decided that it’s just about time to pull the plug on my MySpace page. I haven’t updated it in months and have only logged on a handful of times since setting up my Facebook page. Even with the minimal content left over at MySpace, I have a feeling that it’s just sort of an unfinished project that has outlived its usefulness. So, consider this your official notice that over the next few days, I’ll be salvaging whatever halfway decent content is left over there and moving it over to Facebook or doing away with it altogether. Don’t be surprised if things come down over the weekend for good. So get your last looks in now, because once it’s gone, baby, it’s gone.

And for those of you who haven’t made the switch or are contemplating it, Facebook has Jeff’s Seal of Approval. There’s no guarantee of any kind associated with that Seal, but I’ll tell you it’s damned good stuff. Hope to see you over there soon.