Sick and tired…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by jdtharp

I complain alot about Uncle Sam’s half-assed approach to managing his people… and God knows I’m not going to withdraw any of those previous commentaries. They all have the convenient aspect of being statements of fact rather than simple opinion. The one thing, though, that I won’t fault Uncle on is his policy on sick leave. We rack up 104 hours of sick leave every year and the unused balance rolls over from year to year assuming you don’t use all 13 days earned. Not a bad deal compared to some of the paid-time-off schemes out there.

The only reason I bring it up is I’m currently on the second day in a row sitting here on the couch alternately burning up and shivering. It’s good times. Really. I heard from several people yesterday that men are babies when it comes to dealing with the average case of “sick.” Maybe it’s true, maybe it isn’t. I tend to go with the latter. I’m still keeping up with feeding and watering the zoo, taking care of the three S’s every morning, and making my own trips to the drug store. I’ve even managed to feed myself for the last 36 hours – which has been pretty easy since the only flavor I can really taste is salty. I even think I’m getting along with a minimum amount of complaint.

Maybe the deciding element for “being a baby” has to do with not feeling the compulsion to go sit at my desk while I’m hacking and wheezing all over everything. I know some people do, but I just can’t see any up side to it. If I’m going to spend the day shooting weird neon colored snot out my nose, blowing through two boxes of tissues a day, and generally feeling sick and tired, I’d rather do that in the privacy of my own home than have ten people listening in on my progress. If that makes me a baby, well, fine… but I’d go more with responsible adult.

Now if anyone needs me, I’ll be watching House reruns and trying to diagnose myself.

What Annoys Jeff This Week?

Posted on November 1, 2012 by jdtharp

If I were to list the things that really got my goat this week, there’s a pretty good chance that I’d still be typing when it was time to start on next week’s edition. So without any further introduction let’s get right into it…

1. Cold. Or more specifically cold in the office. Or even more specifically, cold air being blown out of the air handler directly over my head and rolling down the back of my neck. Even protected as they are, ever muscle from the back of my head to my lower back feels like someone spent the last two days twisting them into knots. Thank God it was only on the 40s and 50s outside. If I walk in some morning in January and find the cold air venting, just go ahead and put me out on annual leave, because I’ll be going back to the house. When I lived in Memphis, I use to think I’d enjoy fall and winter in a more northerly clime. Clearly I was wrong. What I really want is Baltimore with Miami’s weather.

2. Warped time. It’s Thursday. I know this because both Outlook and my iPhone tell me. It has still felt like Tuesday all blessed day long. And since the only thing more annoying than feeling like Tuesday is feeling like Monday, it comes in above the cut line this week.

3. News exhaustion. I don’t say it very often, but I think I’m overloaded on the news. From Sandy to the election to random feeds that show up in my Twitter stream… At some point in the near future, I’m going to have to shut it all down for a few days. I just hope I can manage to stay focused through next Tuesday… ‘cause this one’s gonna be good.

Not quite…

Posted on February 16, 2012 by jdtharp

There’s a difference between feeling sick and feeling too sick to show up at the office. Sometimes that difference can be measured by the width of a razor blade. One thing that’s been pretty consistent in my career, though, has been my willingness to use sick days when I’ve needed them. Those tend to be days when getting out of bed or off the couch is just more effort than I can muster. Just below those days on my severity scale are days when I feel like a big steamy pile of poo, but show up in the office anyway. The problem with days like that is even before your computer boots up you know the day isn’t going to be productive. You’re going to end up pissing away most of your time alternately halfway reading articles online, coughing up a lung, and staring longingly at the clock wishing it were already time to go home. The only thing that’s really different between these type of “sick” days is the geographic location where you waste the day.

The only possible upside of being sick and in the office all at the same time is that your colleagues are likely to beat a hasty retreat when they catch a good look at the vast array of cold medicine, tissues, and homeopathic remedies piled up on your desk. If nothing else, it might buy you a little time away from them without needing to dip into your sick time stockpile. Then again, the ones who are oblivious to everything else are just as oblivious to your dripping nose and itching eyes. Personally I always try to make it a point to cough and sneeze in their general direction. At best, they’ll end up getting whatever you’re down with and at worst, I feel like I’m exacting at least some minor retribution for their failure to pay attention.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

A matter of motivation…

Posted on February 9, 2012 by jdtharp

In 1885, President Grant was dying of throat cancer but somehow found the motivation to write his two volume memoirs. By way of contrast, in 2012 I’ve got a head cold and can’t seem to find the motivation to write more than a half dozen lines at a time. Maybe it’s a generational difference in work ethic or possibly I’d have a lot more to say if my body were trying to destroy me from the inside. Either way, I don’t have nothin’ to say about nothin’ tonight. Sometimes that’s for the best.

Me and my big mouth…

Posted on February 7, 2012 by jdtharp

You know, not more than three days ago I was talking to someone about the rediculously long-lasting sickness that everyone seems to be passing around this winter. I distinctly remember the conversation because I mentioned it took me a full month before the scratchy throat finally went away. Sadly, my proclamation of health may have been a bit premature as I started hacking and wheezing all over again at approximately 7:00 this morning. I know the time because that corresponds almost exactly on the time I pull into the parking lot at the office. Not that I’m alleging that it’s a case of post hoc ergo proptor hoc. Work tends to make me sick to my stomach, not so much the ear, nose, and throat region, but I digress. Still, somehow I feel that a month of feeling less than optimal followed by less than a week of feeling “normal” and then going right back into the old hack-and-wheeze doesn’t sound particularly fair. Perhaps if I just redefine having a nagging cough and mild sinus drainage as the new “normal,” all will be well. Bugger me.

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

Posted on January 19, 2012 by jdtharp

By popular demand, I’m pleased to post the 15th installment of What Annoys Jeff this Week. I promise, unless I’m cut down by another bout of the sickness, that I’ll do my best to keep up with it as a regular feature.

1. Primary Elections. The field of potential candidates starts out vast, but by the time a state with a real population gets around to voting the field has already shrunk to just a handful. By the time the great State of Maryland gets around to holding its primaries on April 3rd, it’s a pretty good bet that the field will have already narrowed down to one. Letting the party unite behind a single candidate early is great… for the candidate and for the party. It’s pretty crummy for the voters, though. If we can all agree that our national general election day is always going to be the Tuesday after the first Monday in November, surely we can come up with a similarly convoluted methodology for holding primary elections all on the same day. So, you know, my vote here in Maryland is worth as much as the ones cast in New Hampshire or South Carolina. I’ll hold my breath waiting on that good idea to take hold.

2. Sub-freezing Weather. Sure, I know everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it. This is a blog after all, so it’s only real mission in life is to serve as a voice box for all the bitching and complaining I can come up with… Which is why I’m going to announce my official opposition to temperatures anywhere below 32 degrees. The only purpose of being that cold is to enable snow production and if there’s not going to be snow (and the accompanying day off from work), then it has no business being below freezing. There. I said it.

3. Ground Coffee. I’d be willing to say that my daily intake of coffee is probably higher than the average person, but that’s a topic for a different discussion. All I really want is just to be able to buy a pound of ground coffee. I don’t want a 12 ounce package, or God forbid, the 10.5 ounce size that I almost picked up. One pound of coffee gets me exactly through one week. It’s the perfect proportion of requirement to availability. 10.5 ounces, on the other hand, gets me to about Wednesday… for the same price I was paying for a full pound back in the “good old days”… You know, four or five years ago. I’m sure someone ran a focus group and said people would rather get a smaller size for the same cost than get the same size for a greater cost, but what that didn’t take into account was the people in that focus group were apparently morons. Seriously. Just give me a pound of coffee and if you have to charge me $12 instead of $8, I’ll live with that. I’m perfectly comfortable with the idea that decreased supply means increased price and with the notion that inflation drives up the price of everything over time. Trying to pull a slick one with packaging, though, just makes you look like a bunch of tools.

Three Weeks…

Posted on January 8, 2012 by jdtharp

2012 has not been off to a shining start. Eight days in to the new year and I’m still feeling like dirt. Sure, it’s a better grade of dirt than I felt like a week ago, but still dirt. With the pre-Christmas never ending headache added on, I’ve pretty much lost the last three weeks to laying around on the couch in some state of general disrepair. For the record, I’m tired of it. Better or not, I need to do something other than sit here. The walls aren’t exactly closing in, but I’m pretty sure I’ve reached my limit on how much time I can spend reading and watching reruns. Well or not, I’m going to work tomorrow. I’ll probably feel like a warm steaming pile of poo, but at least the scenery will be different. I’m sure everyone there will be thrilled to have be there hacking and wheezing all over the office. Unless they force me out, that’s just the way it’s going to be. I don’t know exactly what bug has managed to get me, but starting tomorrow, it’s not going to run the show any more.

Back at it…

Posted on January 1, 2012 by jdtharp

You’d think taking a week off from writing would mean that I’d be bursting with things I need to get off my chest. I thought so too. Reality is a little less interesting. I managed to get sick two days after Christmas and since then the most productive think I’ve managed to do is a couple of loads of laundry this morning. Laying on the couch sucking down DayQuil and cough drops doesn’t tend to make for interesting stories and just complaining about being sick has pretty much been over done.

I guess my point here is that it’s a new year and while I’m not feeling 100% yet, I’m better than I wasI think it’s safe to assume that things will get back to normal around here soon. I’ll spare everyone the requisite year in review or year ahead predictions and just say that 2012 will be what it is, good and bad. Unless something changes, I plan on being right here to write about it as it happens.

I hope everyone reading this has enjoyed their New Year’s celebration with family and friends, because the break is almost over. Rest up, relax, and get your head in a good place, because it’s just about time to get back at it.

Down with the sickness…

Posted on October 17, 2008 by jdtharp

It’s not so much being run down, congested, and generally achy that I object to as much as it’s the sheer grinding monotony that comes along with being sick; the hour after of hour of doing essentially nothing except wandering to the kitchen for beverages and to the bathroom to divest myself of the beverages I got from the kitchen. There’s also the occasional very interesting side trip to the DVD player to change movies. Two days of it is really more than enough. I don’t have a clue how people who are well and truly ill deal with days, weeks, or months of it. After two days, I’d pull my bloody hair out if I had any. Sure, I guess I could have toughed it out and gone to the office, but inflicting my particularly sunny disposition and potentially contagious leftovers on my colleagues didn’t seem like a terribly good idea.

The good news, I suppose, is that I’m feeling better now than I was last night so I seem to be well along the path to recovery. Lord willing, I’ll even be able to muster the oomph to get out of the house tomorrow. It’s ironic that I usually spend all weekend trying to avoid people. All I want to do now is see someone that isn’t in HD. I’m sure that fascination will wear off quickly!

Sick, but not so much tired…