What Annoys Jeff this Week?

1. Results. I’m a reasonably intelligent man with a fairly analytical mind, but I’m at a loss for what to do when results from something like an MRI drop into my online patient portal long before my doctor has a chance to look at and comment on them. As wide as my academic interests are, it’s never ranged as far as internal medicine, so the reports end up being a lot of gibberish with lines, arrows, and color codes that mean precisely nothing to me. That, of course, doesn’t prevent me from using Google to try gleaning a bit of understanding… which never results in anything other than low grade panic or mild confusion. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I almost miss the olden days when the doctor received the report and the patient didn’t know dick about it until the medical professionals called to explain what’s what. I’m not at all sure this current model of complete transparency is helping me in any way.

2. Retirement. In my little slice of Uncle’s big green machine, there are 3 people who do more or less what I do. We’ve been a decent little team for the last half a decade or so. One of the three (lucky bastard) is retiring in a few days. His backfill is nowhere in sight. With three people, in all but the most extraordinary circumstances, we could work around everyone’s schedules and keep the trains running on time. With two, well, I’ve already identified two days that’ll be listed with “no coverage” in the next two months. That number will explode when the other guy adds his scheduled time off to the mix. All of that’s before we’ve even talked about the week or two gap for Christmas and New Year’s. None of those issues should be surprising. We’ve been warning the bosses about it for months. But not to worry… there’s allegedly a “temporary” fill-in coming and the bosses are going to hire a permanent replacement with all the speed and agility the U.S. Government is famous for displaying. With the pace at which the bureaucracy moves, I don’t expect to see either of those things happen until well after the new year, if ever. The only thing I know for sure is that for the foreseeable future, there’s going to be 24 manhours per day of work to do and only 16 manhours of personnel on hand to do it. The math, as they say, just doesn’t math. I know I won’t magically be doing an extra 4 hours of whatever every day, so I reckon the powers that be should probably get prepared for a diminished baseline of productivity and discovering that they’re just going to have to wait until we get around to some things. That’ll go over like a fart in church, but this was an issue that could have been addressed any time in the last six months…  so, I’ll be damned if I’ll be treating the inevitable result of bureaucratic fuckery as any kind of emergency for me. 

3. Exercise. Everyone on the internet loves to tell you that “once exercise becomes part of your routine, you’ll love it.” Maybe that’s true for them, but for me, I can assure you that no, the fuck I will not. Every daily walk or session on the exercise bike is 30-40 minutes I’m allocating under protest, because it’s sucking up an incredibly finite resource that I’d much rather put towards reading, or writing, or anything that I might even partially enjoy. Maybe it’s better than being stabbed in the kidney, but as something to pass the time, exercise is easily the least enjoyable part of my day. I’ll do it because it’s being required of me by someone who has far more knowledge about modern medical theory and practice than I have. Still, there isn’t a power on earth or in heaven that can convince me I’m having a good time. 

Diagnostic tests, doctor shopping, and medical snobbery…

Since my original diagnosis of “probable SVT” way back in July took place under the umbrella of the ChristianaCare hospital system over in Delaware, my first appointment with cardiology was also made within their system. That was fine. Their main campus is reasonably well reviewed and I could get seen by a cardiology nurse practitioner in August, which I’ve found out through this process is a fast turnaround for a new cardiology patient who isn’t inactively laying in a hospital bed. 

In the intervening days and weeks, though, I had a follow up with my primary care doctor, who operates as part of the Johns Hopkins system. He was less enthused about my decision to use Christiana for my cardiology needs – explaining that their cardiology department, while fine, is “not ranked” whereas Hopkins cardiology is currently ranked 13th in the nation with the hospital consistently ranking very near the top of any list of “America’s best hospitals” that’s ever put together.

Yes, my primary care doctor is a medical snob.

Despite his cajoling, I kept my original appointment, which led through a series of tests and reports that I was going to need anyway. I also reached out to Hopkins Cardiology to get myself on their waiting list for new patients and ended up with an appointment scheduled deep into October. It wasn’t ideal, but since I was going through all the preliminary tests and could then hand over a pretty good sized file, the timing wasn’t a major issue for me. I was able to take advantage of their wait list option to get my first appointment in the books last week – with a guy who has been practicing for 40+ years and has the look and feel of someone who has seen just about everything. In other words, he’s exactly the guy I want even if all we’re doing at the moment is preventative and exploratory. 

With all other things being equal, if being able to access some of the best cardiologists in the country means driving 45 minutes west instead of 25 minutes east, ultimately it feels like not much of a decision at all. 

It turns out, like my primary care doctor, I too am a medical snob.

So, I’m going all in. My optometrist recently retired. Instead of going over to the doctor that took over his practice, I’ll let Hopkins run the show for my eyes too. I’ve got my first appointment set up with the closest branch of the Wilmer Eye Institute later this year. That puts all but one doc under a single banner… and when the time comes sometime in 2024, I’ll bring that one into the fold too.

All of these new faces on my medical team are a little further away than I’d like, but I feel like what I’ll lose in adding a few minutes of extra travel time, will pay me back in the convenience of having them all working under the same organization. I was woefully unprepared for the level of coordination I’d need to do myself when my primary care doc and everyone else had electronic records systems that refused to communicate with each other. 

I’m in no way fool enough to believe that being “nationally ranked” is any guarantee of better outcomes. For now, it appears that most of my problems are fairly benign, but should something become more involved or I develop a novel condition over time, I’m going to put my faith in the big name going forward. Hopefully they’re not just riding their 135-year-old reputation. 

Some people would take this opportunity to rail against the American healthcare system. Undoubtedly, it has challenges – but I’ve been absolutely amazed by the level of services and the array of options that have been presented to me over the last three months. Don’t think for a moment I’ve failed to realize my great good fortune to have both the geographic proximity to one of America’s great medical centers and an insurance plan that makes walking through their doors possible. There hasn’t been a day go past recently when it hasn’t been at the forefront of my thoughts.