Tag Archives: old

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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1. Self doubt. I’ve never considered myself plagued by self doubt. My ego has always been big enough to generally just assume I’ve made the right decisions. Every now and then, though, I’m intensely bothered by the “what if” of things. It’s not especially helpful way to spend any significant amount of time. I’d very much like to get back as quickly as possible to implicitly trusting my brain to make the right bloody calls. It’s another once of those situations where patience is probably a virtue… and that being the case is always vaguely annoying all on its own.

2. The social media platform formerly known as Twitter. Twitter, X, or whatever we’ve collectively decided to call it now is becoming increasingly unusable due to the amplification of right-wing advertisers, conspiracy theorists, “entertainers” pretending at journalism, and flat out misinformation being propagated has definitive truth. I’m finding I have to increasingly curate my list of “follows” to weed out nonsense and even then the algorithm seems determined to deliver content I have no interest in and refuse to engage with beyond smashing the “block” button… for all the good that does. 

3. Concerts. I have a concert coming up at the end of the month. It’s an artist I’ve been looking forward to seeing for a long time, but I’m troubled by one thing. The timing. I just happened to notice that the openers aren’t scheduled to kick off until about the time I’d usually be thinking about heading to bed. That quickly brought about a dissatisfied sigh. Look, I’m absolutely going to be there, barring unforeseen issues between now and then… but knowing that when the show ends and the lights come up, I’m going to be two states and at least 90 minutes from bed already has me feeling entirely worn out. If Broadway shows can put on Sunday matinees at a reasonable hour in the afternoon, maybe aging rock stars should take a page out of that book.

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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1. Questionable aesthetic decisions. I drive past the house I rented when I first got back to Maryland every couple of weeks. I was dumbfounded to find that the current owner ripped off the large deck and planted a prefab garage in its place. It’s not just something simple that compliments the size of the house. Oh no. It’s a massive thing that overshadows the house completely. It doesn’t just look out of proportion with the property. but completely out of character for the neighborhood. It’s the kind of thing I’d lose my mind over if I had to look at it from next door. HOAs aren’t always ideal, but there’s absolutely a reason I’m ok with my local committee having to chop on any project that would alter the front facing profile of the houses here in my current hood. They may be the devil, but they’re the devil that will keep a neighbor from plunking down a massive steel building in their front yard. Sometimes that just has to be good enough.

2. Being old people. I unexpectedly found myself in attendance at a concert last Thursday. I couldn’t help but notice, when looking around the venue, that I was surrounded by “old people.” Old people who also knew that Chris Barron was the lead singer for Spin Doctors, a band who cut a swath through the early 1990s, and who remember his biggest two or three songs playing nonstop on radio and MTV. As it turns out it’s me. I’m “old people.” It was an unsettling moment of realization, even if sharing a very small venue with a guy whose music marked a pretty significant period in your life was a decidedly cool experience.

3. Self-denial. I’ve learned, over the last year, to go about the day in some varied state of hunger. Some days, I barely think about eating and don’t notice it. Other days, though, all I want to do is gorge on anything I can possibly get my hands on. Those days are the absolute worst, because falling off my particular wagon is no more than a quick walk to the refrigerator or pantry away. Self-denial has never been one of my unique gifts, so on days when hunger really sets in, it’s an all-day fist fight. They don’t hit as often as the used to, but when they show up, damned if they’re not brutal. 

Time keeps on slippin’…

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I think I’m beginning now to understand why old people always seem vaguely angry. The world I knew, the one of my youth, the one I was infinitely comfortable with, isn’t the world. The leaders have all gone. The stars are going. Even the countries aren’t the same and the maps have been remade. It’s disconcerting to realize that nation-states and their seeming permeance are anything but.

Society is far more open and tolerant than it was “where I come from.” I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. In most things social, I’m mostly happy enough to let peopled do their own thing so long as they aren’t troubling anyone else. Activities and lifestyles that weren’t even mentioned, or only mentioned in whispers in early 80s are not just tolerated now but celebrated. In half a human lifetime I already find myself looking agog at the way the world has changed.

I’m enough of a student of history to know that the change is inevitable. People and institutions adapt… and those who refuse to adapt are swallowed up by the vast sweep of time. As those dark scientists in economic say, “in the long run we’re all dead.”

If you stick around long enough maybe you get to see everything you knew as true eventually turn out to be something else entirely. That would probably be the real curse of eternal life. The time and place I’m from didn’t get it all right, but it wasn’t all wrong either. New and different doesn’t necessarily mean better, but neither does old and tested. There’s a balance to be struck, but if I’m any judge of human behavior we’ll inevitable swing the pendulum too far in both directions simultaneously.

Realization…

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Yesterday afternoon I passed a Buick going the opposite direction. Nothing unusual about that. It happens every day. What was unusual is that while it was approaching, I was struck by what a good looking vehicle it was. It wasn’t until it was well in the rear view that realized what just happened. I was looking at a Buick. And I thought it looked sharp. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when I knew for sure middle age had her claws in me and she has no intention of letting go.

I’ve been ignoring the small aches and pains – like the sore back that’s been nagging me for two weeks now. Looking at a Buick as a viable automotive alternative, though, that hit home. So next weekend I think I’ll take a drive past the Chevy dealer to take a look at Corvettes. We all have to go, but no one ever said we had to go quietly.

What Annoys Jeff this Week…

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1. Waiting. Whoever said “patience is a virtue” was a tool who clearly didn’t have enough going on to keep him occupied. I don’t see the problem with wanting what I want, when I want it. We all know some things don’t happen overnight, but that isn’t any reason we have to pretend that we like it.

2. Cluelessness. When I’m focusing on my computer screen, the sandwich I brought for lunch, or something else on my desk, and don’t seem to be paying much attention to what you’re saying, it’s a fair assumption that I’m not looking for an in depth conversation. State your business and move on. Do not stop and tell me Parts 63-77 of your life story. Get a clue.

3. Opinions. Yep, they’re like assholes. We’ve all got at least one. Please do not assume yours are facts unless you have supporting evidence to substantiate your claim. In the absence of supporting evidence, I’m just going to think you’re a moron.

4. Aging. When I read that Steve Jobs was 56, my first thought was “Damn, he wasn’t even old.” That was the first time I really consciously recognized that I’m easing in the general direction of early middle age. Apparently in my mind people in their 50s have stopped being ancient. I’m not ok with the implication that has.

5. Helpdesks. Taking three weeks to get someone networked to a printer is not, by definition, “helpful.” Now if their name was Pain-in-the-Ass-desk, I’d let it slide. There should at least be a grain of truth in what we call things.

And that’s what annoys Jeff this week.