One of the consequences of getting dark in the middle of the afternoon is that now pretty much all I want to do from 6:00 onward is go to bed. That was a perfectly acceptable feeling when it got dark at 8:30 and bed was only ninety minutes away. It’s less ok now that between the time I get to crawl into bed and the time I start wanting to do that, there are four hours that need to be somewhat productive or the cleaning, laundry, and other activities that keep a household running are going to pile up to unacceptable levels. And so with that, I once again turn to the internet for an answer. Is there something, anything, that anyone uses to gin up motivation to be productive when it’s dark outside? Coffee is getting to be my only salvation, but somehow adding another pot to the one I already drink during daylight hours seems a touch excessive. I’ve always had some issues during this time of year, but this is getting ridiculous. I either need to find some energy or accept the fact that I’m going to go to bed at 7PM until the days start getting longer again.
Tag Archives: sleep
No man’s land…
I’ve spent the last week feeling somewhere between sick and well. It’s not that I really feel bad in any way I can put my finger on, but then again it’s not that I’m feeling bad enough to want to stay on the couch all day trying to recover. It’s a madding no man’s land between the two. If there’s some fall crud lurking around, I wish it would just smack me around and be done with it. As it is, mustering the enthusiasm to do much of anything is getting to be a bit of a chore. Until I figure out what it is I’ve got and convinced it with high doses of chemicals that it needs to go away, I’ll keep treating the symptoms with ridiculous amounts of caffeine administered regularly throughout the day. That course of treatment might leave some people awake half the night, but the one perk of whatever it is picking at my system is I’m practically sound asleep before my head hits the pillow. Now if I would just start waking up rested, we might just be in business.
What annoys Jeff this week?
And without further adiu, here’s what’s annoying Jeff this week.
1. Waking up on time and then hitting the snooze bar five times, making yourself 45 minutes late. Clearly there has to be a better way to execute a morning routine.
2. Thursday night laundry. Yes, it saves me from eating up an entire weekend afternoon doing laundry, but it still annoys me. Meh.
3. The 24-hour day. You suck. Seriously. A 30-hour day would be much more conducive to balancing the amount of things that need done with the time available to do them.
4. The neighbor who lets his kids run along the fence taunting the dog. At some point she’ll have enough and bite you in the face. I’ll be smiling on the inside.
Neighborly observation…
I watch people. I don’t mean that so much in the Creepy McCreeperson kind of way, but for as long as I can remember, I’ve been fascinated in watching people and trying to figure them out. Most of the time, it’s pretty easy to read them. It helps that most people are pretty dumb and almost all of us are predictable on some level. I’ve had a few weeks to watch the family next door now. It’s surprising what you can see when you don’t have a six foot privacy fence between you and the rest of the planet, but I digress.
The thing I’ve noticed most often is how tired the guy who lives next door looks. 6:30 in the morning leaving for work, he looks tired. Cutting the grass in the evening, he looks tired. We all work, pay bills, and keep up with the endless list of things that need done to keep our houses from falling in around our ears. We all get tired. The difference I’ve noticed is that even when I’m tired, I go to bed, sleep for a few hours, and wake up refreshed. All you’ve got to do is look in this guy’s eyes and you can tell there’s no waking up rested going on there. He’s a nice enough guy to say hello to, but he’s got that vacant 1000 yard stare that speaks of being completely exhausted. It’s that look of exhaustion that really made me think.
We never really know what’s going on in other people’s lives, but I always look askance at couples who claim they can’t get everything done. Seriously? There are two of you doing what one of me does. That would be cleaning the house, doing the laundry, cooking, yard work, washing the car, grocery shopping, running errands, making the money, and generally managing life. The difference between us is that I’m doing it with half the manpower you have available. Without knowing the intricacies of your life, it seems that if one of me can manage to get it all done, two of you should be able to at least keep up.
Schedule…
This is going to seem like a really minor detail, but for the last 7 years, my schedule as been 6:30-3:00. Start early, end early get back to the house with plenty of day left. Now we all know that I’m a creature of habit, but even I was surprised at how pushing things back just an hour would throw off my day. That’s not really a complaint per se, just an observation. Getting to the house after 5:00 is just downright strange at the moment. Once it settles in as part of the new normal, all will be well. After all, it is sort of nice not to necessarily want to go to bed at 9:00 most nights. With this new schedule, I push it back as far as 10:00 or even 10:30 if I’m feeling froggy. That’s right, we’re living on the edge here at the top of the Bay. Don’t ever let it be said that I’m not willing to broaden my horizons.
What you do when you catch it…
Between stressing out over getting a job (and getting away from the one I have now), packing, getting a property manager/tenant, actually moving, finding someplace new to live, and not sliding into bankruptcy in the process, I’m going to need a vacation before I even think about being productive somewhere new and different. Then again, being officially productive will be such a different experience than I’ve had lately that it might be a tonic all by itself.
The one thing that I didn’t expect about finally getting what I’ve been after for the better part of a year was that I’d be absolutely exhausted when it happened. I’m not complaining, mind you – Just observing that at some point, I’m going to sit down and sleep for three days straight. Hopefully not in the middle of a 900 mile drive… but it won’t be long after that.
This isn’t the weekend for rest. By Sunday night, everything not in a box will be in a Hefty bag at the curb. It’s time to get gone.
Anatomy of a day off…
Anatomy of a day off…
I took the day off yesterday. Not so much because I really needed to, but a three day weekend now andthen is much appreciated. I realized that my days off aren’t exactly what most people would think of as relaxing. I was up at 5:30, which I suppose is technically sleeping in. Dropped the truck at the Toyota dealer at 7:00 for an oil change and an hour of shooting the shit with the service manager. Then it was grocery shopping and driving halfway across the county to pick up meds for the dogs. After that, it was off to my own doctor for what has become a never ending routine of follow up inspections and random pokings and proddings. An hour of that and a clean bill of health, or as clean a bill of health as I’m ever likely to get, it was back to a house in serious need of cleaning and dinner that apparently didn’t magically make itself in my absence. Follow that up with a bowl of orange sugar free jello and periodic napping and you’ve got the anatomy of pretty much any weekday when I’m not at work. I’d tell you what one of those days looks like, but that would be too depressing to contemplate on a Saturday afternoon.
As it is now, the hiring freeze is still on and I’m no closer to hitting eject on this place than I was eight months ago… But I’m still swinging for the fences. The house is a little cleaner than I was yesterday. And today’s dinner, I’m assuming, isn’t any closer to magically making itself while I’m out. The beer’s cold, the scenery is excellent, and there’s still another day between me and Monday. All things considered, I’d say I’m still doing better than average.
Friendly advice…
If you have a cube with a direct line of sight to the Executive Office of the UberBoss, it’s really best not to fall asleep watching the TV mounted to the wall across from you. It makes you look like a dumbass. Far more importantly, it makes me look like a dumbass.
Maybe I should just confiscate their desk chair tomorrow. It’s probably harder to fall asleep if you’re standing up… Though I’m not sure I’d be surprised to see it. I wonder if that’s even legal. I think that’ll be on the list of things to ask the lawyer tomorrow.
Editorial Note: This is part of a continuing series of previously unattributed posts appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.
Taking the high road…
I’m going to make the adult decision and not chase after glittery temptation for once. Just this once and just to see how that works out. What would 21 year old me think? He’d call me a derivation of “feline” and shake his head in disgust before walking up the hill for beer by the quart at Hi-Way Pizza. That’s what he’d do. Twenty five year old me would probably already be at the Green Door or Brass Rail passing the latest County gossip and talking shit. But while they’re doing that, 32 year old me will be getting what passes lately for a good nights sleep and not be nursing a hangover during that early morning meeting with the bosses.
Lame.
All plans made herein are non-refundable and subject to change without notice.
Cracking the century mark…
I just crossed over the 100-resumes-sent-out mark – an occasion made even more auspicious because I’m only a few hours away from punching out for two weeks of Christmas vacation. So really, my quest to get out of this madding reality will be suspended until after the new year, because, well, I will be out… even if it’s only temporary. Temporary is way, way better than nothing. Getting myself to a place where the hardest decision I need to make involves whether the ham sandwich should have mustard or mayonnaise seems to be one of the few ideas I can get behind lately with my full-throated support.
This will be the first trip of any length I’ve tried since I stopped sleeping like normal people. It’s also the first trip since I started drinking every bottle of water, soda, or Gatorade in site. I’m not all sure how this combination is going to work out other than almost guaranteeing that I won’t be setting a personal speed record for this trip. I just hope I can avoid making a pit stop every two hours. That would turn what’s already a tough drive into just about intolerable. One thing’s for certain, though… come hell or high water, I’m heading east and soon, with all the speed I can muster.
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