1. Summer clothes. It was warm over the weekend and I thought it was probably a good chance to go through some of my summer garb to see what still fits. Surely, I thought to myself, among my stack of tee shirts and shorts I’d find more than enough to get me through the hot weather. Yeah, no. Out of twelve pairs of shorts, there are two I can probably wear… if I keep my belt cinched really tight. Tee shirts were a bit of a better result, but not by much… as long as you don’t mind that oversized and baggy look. This means I’m being forced against a wall where I can’t avoid more goddamned shopping. Of all the things I’m loath to spend money one, clothes ranks not far off the top of the list. I need to find someone in Cecil County who offers personal shopping and stylist services, because I’d like to participate in this process as little as possible.
2. Rematch. Barring the unforeseen it appears that a rematch between Joe Biden and Donald Trump is inevitable. Every four years I say it, and every four years I mean it… I can’t imagine being less inspired to vote for a candidate than I am by the prospect of one of these two geriatrics running the country for the next four years. If, in the country of 300 million people, these are the best our nation has to offer, honest to god we should just pack up and call it a day. We’re not so much a country as a circus protected by a large standing army.
3. SoTU. This week will mark Joe Biden’s 3rd State of the Union Address. That’s pretty good for a guy who according to wackjob right wingers isn’t technically President of the United States. There was a time I’d have laid in the chips and dip and treated the State of the Union as an alternate reality Super Bowl. Sitting here now, though, I know there’s not a chance in hell I’m going to make any special effort to watch. The simple fact is, I can’t think of anything I’m interested in hearing Joe Biden say… and I’m even less eager to poison my ears with whatever treason-scented fuckery spews out of the Republican response.
Tag Archives: trump
What Annoys Jeff this Week?
1. Apple Watch. I’m not 100% convinced that my Apple Watch is helpful. Cardiology recommended it because of the quick ability to run a simple EKG if my heart rate ever takes off at a running gallop for any reason. Otherwise, it’s just becoming a repository for a whole bunch of new data that I can obsess and crank up my anxiety about. A true double edged sword. Days when I’m busy and don’t check my heart rate or oxygen saturation or any of the 300 other data points it serves up at the touch of a button are fine. But the days when my brain isn’t occupied and has time to dwell, things get a little froggy. I’m not entirely sure vital statistics wouldn’t be better left in MyChart and collected only at periodic doctor’s visits. At least there, things are in context. Living on my phone, though, they’re just an invitation to deep dive Reddit threads and lose hours on self-diagnosis.
2. Bureaucracy. The Defender’s first temporary registration was slated to expire on Saturday. Land Rover overnighted me a new set of temporary plates without any trouble, but asides from kudos to them for making it relatively painless, this shouldn’t be something that even needs to be discussed. None of this would be an issue if we weren’t working through the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles to get things processed through the Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration, both state agencies well known for the speed with which they process taxpayer requests. I wish I was surprised that something as dead simple routine as issuing new license plates apparently takes more than 30 days, but here we are, not surprised but thoroughly annoyed.
3. The MAGA party. I’m sorry, but in the year two thousand and twenty-four of the common era, I’m finding it increasingly hard to believe this is even still a thing. I know the philosopher said “you can fool some of the people all the time,” but at some point, it simply becomes less a case of misdirection and something more like willful disregard for reality. I try to mostly tune out the noise, but the fact that it exists at all is wholly absurd.
What Annoys Jeff this Week?
1. Wrinkles. Look, the losing weight has been fine. I’m down around 85 pounds since July. The catch is, I’ve apparently been losing weight in my forehead. I can’t help but notice when I throw the right facial expressions, there’s a definite wrinkle in the fabric now. As I race through the back half of my 45th year, it shouldn’t be a surprise, but I know damned well it wasn’t there 30 or 40 pounds ago. I’m not an especially vain person, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find this… troubling.
2. Caffeine. About two months ago I made a concerted effort to start weening myself off caffeine. Having survived in a steady diet of coffee since I was 15, it was no small undertaking. The doc and a therapist both noted that caffeine could sometimes exacerbate anxiety, so it had to go. After two weeks of intermittent headaches, it was mostly ok. Today, having felt as good for the last few days as I’ve felt in months, I decided to treat myself to an iced tea with lunch. Bad decision. By quitting time my anxiety was doing its thing and didn’t ease up until bedtime. Lesson learned, I guess. It’s decaf and caffeine free soda for the foreseeable future. Obviously not the end of the world, but it’s hard not to notice – and grieve – the things that continue to fall away under this new regime of mine.
3. Presidential immunity. According to Donald Trump’s attorney, John Sauer, a sitting president would be immune from prosecution if he ordered Seal Team Six to assassinate a political opponent. Not only is this a wild misapplication of what any reasonable person would consider the proper bounds of immunity, but it also raises an inevitable question. If this interpretation of immunity is held to be valid by the courts, what’s to stop President Biden from launching a cruise missile attack on Mar-a-Lago the next time Donald lays that giant melon of his down to sleep? The whole line of thinking is batshit crazy.
What Annoys Jeff this Week?
Donald Trump. Do I honestly even need to add any additional commentary here? The man is a sociopathic threat to the republic. And even if he weren’t, putting forward the argument that West Virginia is the proper venue for his impending trial for attempting to overthrow the government because the jury there would be more “politically unbiased” and demographically balanced and “more diverse” borders on laughable. Or it would if he and his legal team weren’t serious. I have a huge soft spot for West Virginia. I grew up within spitting distance of the south bank of the Potomac, but it’s hard to imagine a more thinly veiled argument for moving his trial. The crimes Mr. Trump is accused of took place in DC and there his trial should stay. Let his lawyers challenge jurors “for cause” rather than shamelessly hoping to find a more politically favorable group of twelve.
Low salt. Before the cardiologist got a chance to yell at me, I’d already started casting out salt. Salad dressings, sauces, just about every recipe I’ve mastered over 20 years, even my beloved giant burrito should be on the forbidden list. So far nothing tastes good. There’s a limit to how much bland stir fry one should be expected to endure. Food should be a joy. Now it’s more something to jam into my face as quickly as possible in hopes I don’t taste much of it. No, it’s not the end of the world and yes, I’ll probably eventually strike on some recipes that aren’t awful, but I’m feeling just a little bit sorry for myself and that might just be the most annoying thing possible.
Management. With the new telework policy signed, management is having entirely predictable trouble with figuring out how to implement this thing they’ve known was coming for almost a year. I’ll illustrate. The policy was published by the executive office on Friday. Wait, wait. Don’t do anything until the directorate has a meeting about it on Tuesday. Fine, you might think. Sit through the Tuesday meeting, get the guidance in person and then send your package in for what should theoretically be simple review and approval as long as you crossed through all the appropriate wickets. No. Now we’re on pause waiting for additional guidance and determinations to be made at the “branch” level, because there’s “more information” to put out and analysis needed. Maybe more info and analysis is the sort of thing that should have had some academic rigor applied before the thing hit the street instead of piecemealing it out after the fact. Just get on with it. Continuing to bottle this up isn’t winning management any new friends. And their old ones are getting awfully skeptical. If you had almost a year of knowing 90% of what was coming and then seem to be confused and befuddled when it finally lands on your desk, shame on you.
Things I’d rather…
This is a non-exhaustive list of things I’d rather vote for in 2024 than Donald Trump for President of the United States:
1. Revoking American independence and ceding the country back to the United Kingdom.
2. Abolishing the office of President and creating a cabinet government.
3. Mandatory gender-neutral high heels.
4. Changing the national anthem to The Devil Went Down to Georgia.
5. A law specifically requiring me and me only to burn my books.
6. Syphilis for everyone!
7. Every home with more than ½ acre of open land must maintain 6 chickens or 2 goats.
8. All pizza must be made with only mushrooms and anchovies.
9. Henceforth, no gin may be imported to the United States or its territories and dependencies.
Like I said, the list is certainly not exhaustive, but should serve well enough for illustrative purposes.
Hey, I was there with you in 2016. I didn’t love the guy as a candidate, but assumed that the trappings of the office would smooth off some of his rougher edges – that he’d feel the weight of the office and 227 years of precedent and that would constrain his worst impulses. I was wrong.
His particular brand of poison can’t be allowed to continue spreading through the body politic. There’s not a power on earth or in heaven that could compel me to vote for the twice impeached, now federally indicted and arraigned ex-television host-in-chief.
Some thoughts from a “law and order” man…
The 45th President of the United States has been indicted by a Manhattan grand jury. As I understand the process, that means 16 members of the jury determined that there was sufficient evidence to allow the district attorney to bring formal changes against Donald Trump. With the exception of the single fact that the defendant formerly held the highest elective office in the land, it’s nothing that doesn’t happen a thousand times a week in jurisdictions around the country.
The MAGA wing of social media has, predictably, erupted with cries of political persecution, false narratives, attempted distractions, and allegations of misconduct from everyone from the prosecutor to the sitting president. Collectively the usual talking heads of that movement have claimed almost everything – except that their guy is actually innocent. It’s a rare tweet indeed that asserts Donald Trump simply didn’t do the things of which the State of New York is accusing him. I’ll leave you to make of that what you will.
Under the American justice system, all criminal defendants are entitled to the presumption of innocence. It’s the obligation of the prosecutor to prove them guilty beyond all reasonable doubt. You won’t see me making an assertion of guilt here. I wasn’t in the courthouse and wasn’t privy to the evidence presented to member of the grand jury. Nor, outside the crashing gong of social media, have I heard the arguments for the defense. My opinion is, at best, informed by widely available reports and, at worst, colored by the overwhelming contempt in which I hold both Donald Trump and his fellow travelers who have consumed the Republican Party.
The MAGA activists and I agree on one thing, though – this indictment and tomorrow’s arrest and arraignment of the 45th President of the United States is absolutely a low water mark in our politics. How they and I arrived at this assessment, though, are based on wildly differing views of what constitutes embarrassing, egregious, and criminal behavior. History, the kind written a hundred or so years from now, long after tempers have cooled and the actors have all left the stage, won’t be particularly kind to the brand of abject fuckery that Trump and his most devoted followers have wrought. Unfortunately, we’ll be watching this uniquely stupid story play out in real time for the rest of our lives – regardless of whether he’s found guilty by a New York jury or not.
It’s just not that hard…
The discovery of classified documents in an office used by the then former Vice President Biden, frankly, is no less troubling than the documents recovered from former President Trump’s home/resort in Florida. Some will point to the difference between the Biden documents being found and immediately turned over to representatives of the National Archives versus Trump’s tantruming fight to keep those he possessed as being a significant difference. I’m not at all sure I agree.
The fact that the current president and his immediate predecessor are both caught up in a situation where classified documents were mishandled is, in a word, troubling. If a few more words were called for, I might wonder aloud what the actual fuck is wrong with these people we entrust with the highest levels of executive power?
Is it that they’ve been empowered so long that they believe rules simply no longer apply, or is it alternately that they’re too ragingly incompetent to keep up with basic procedures governing the care and use of classified materials? Is it malicious? Intentional? Is anyone working for them at least attempting to keep their shit squared away?
Maybe I only get incensed about this because I know what happens to people a lot further down the food chain than the Executive Office of the President when they misplace or otherwise fail to secure their red-edged paperwork.
I welcome a full and complete investigation into the circumstances surrounding the mishandling of classified information at the highest level and can only hope the guilty party receives the appropriate level of sanction for their abject fuckery. I promise you, it’s not that hard to keep information secured appropriately. Whoever cocked it up, whether president or peon should be roundly pummeled about the head and neck.
Say what you feel you need to about me, but one thing I can promise, is that my position on these issues is never, ever about the utter triviality of political party. I want to see the guilty hang regardless of what color tie they wear.
Unfit for service…
Donald Trump is demonstrably unfit to serve as President of the United States.
By word and action, he has defied the norms and traditions of our constitutional republic and represents a grave threat to our nearly 250 year old experiment in self government.
That’s it. That’s the post.
Don’t simp for sleazy, scumbag politicians…
I spent a good amount of time raging about Hillary Clinton’s mishandling of classified email back in 2016. I believed then and I believe now that if I stored classified email on my home computer, I’d be at best fired and at worst prosecuted and imprisoned. She shouldn’t receive special consideration due to her august and lofty position.
In 2017 I called out Jared Kushner for use of private email to conduct official business on behalf of the U.S. Government. I recommended that his files and records be subpoenaed and if there was evidence of guilt he should be charged and tried.
In 2018 I called out Ivanka Trump for using her personal email address to conduct official business on behalf of the U.S. Government.
Here, now, in 2022, I’ll state publicly and for the record that if Donald Trump is suspected of having unlawfully retained, stored, folded, spindled, mutilated, sold, or otherwise misused classified materials, his residence and/or place of business absolutely should be subject to a lawful search. If evidence is found based on that search, he should be tried. That would be my position regardless of whether we happened to be discussing a sitting president, a former president, or a private citizen.
Maybe it’s easier for me to say because I’m beholden to neither of our major political parties, though I like to think it’s simply because I have the intellectual integrity not to have different rules of behavior depending on what party I happen to support. I have many bad qualities, but being a hypocritical asshat isn’t one of them.
I know it’s far too much to expect people to dispense with their partisan blinders at this point. They’re too entrenched – too invested in the position that they’ve staked out. No one wants to admit they bought a pig in a poke. There’s too much face to lose. Nothing I say is going to change minds, so I’ll just be over here eternally grateful that I never wrapped so much of my own identity up in a sleazy, scumbag politician to have hurt feelings when they go out and do sleazy, scumbag politician stuff.
What Annoys Jeff this Week?
1. The joy of home ownership. I thought we had a pretty solid handle on the homestead’s water supply after last year’s well and filtration work. The fact that it literally fell apart at the seams yesterday tells me it wasn’t quite satisfactory as I expected. So, in addition to the never-ending bathroom remodel, I’ve hired another plumbing company to design and build a much less fragile way to get water from the well and through some filters before delivering it up to the rest of the house. I only laid two requirements on them for this project: It must be dead simple easy to operate and perform regular maintenance on and all components must be affixed to or supported by structure versus hanging free from the pipes. I suppose it’s just the kind of thing I’m willing to spend on if that’s what it takes to avoid future blowouts when someone has the audacity to try closing a ball valve.
2. The MAGA campaign to discredit Cassidy Hutchinson. There are lots of Donald’s supporters ranting, raving, and questioning Ms. Hutchinson’s intelligence, truthfulness, and anything else they can dream up to discredit her testimony before the January 6th Select Committee. None of them, thus far, have submitted evidence or requested that they be allowed to offer conflicting testimony under oath. If they’re withholding key evidence or information about the events of January 6th, they’re negligent in their duty. If they’re big mad because this brave 20-something former White House staffer has the personal integrity to sit down, swear in, and say true things about Donald that make him look like an out of control, petulant child, well, it’s just the expected kind of sound and fury that doesn’t signify.
3. Salad. Look, I like salad well enough. I mean top anything with enough dressing, cheese, and bacon bits and it’ll be edible at some point. In all seriousness, though, I’ve been making a concerted effort for the last few months to replace one meal a day – usually lunch – with a truly enormous salad. Even with the toppings a massive bowl full of various greens should be nominally more responsible than whatever combination of Hot Pockets or PB&J’s I’d be having otherwise. The trouble comes down to the greens themselves. Despite the salad spinning and paper towel drying and specialized containers, I just can’t seem to get a full week of freshness out of the stuff. Towards the end of every week, there’s a good wilt setting in at best. If the produce wasn’t fresh off the truck when I grabbed it, sometimes by Thursday it’s gone off completely. Hot Pockets definitely don’t have that problem. Sure, I could solve this particular issue by buying less produce on Saturday and adding a mid-week supply run, but that violates my cardinal rule of minimizing the number of times every week I need to leave the house. If this turns into a competition between wanting a salad and not wanting to leave the house, salad loses every single time no matter how many bacon bits are on it.
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