100% American…

Look, so here’s the thing about Senator Warren and President Trump… I just don’t care. Arguing the finer points of an Ancestry.com DNA test makes you both look even more ridiculous than usual. That’s no small task given the two pols in question and yet the two of them have managed to yet again exceed exceptions… or is it that they found a way to nudge the bar just a little bit lower?

It doesn’t matter a lick to me if you’re 1/2 Sub-Saharan African, or 1/3 Anglo-Saxon, or 1/4 Pacific Islander, or 1/1024 Native American. Sure, I guess those are all fun factoids to trot out at parties but beyond that they’re mostly irrelevant. It’s the kind of differentiation that feeds into my general eye-rolling when someone defines themselves as Irish-American, or African-American, or Japanese-American. While interesting from the historian’s perspective, or for those who study mass migration, knowing where your 12x great grandparents came from is largely a “so what” kind of declaration. Congrats, your ancestors were Welsh shepherds. Here’s a cookie.

If you say you want to live in a country where people don’t judge or make assumptions based on your background, heritage, skin color, or ancestral place of origin, trying being “just” a plain old American. No hyphen needed. No percentage necessary. Just tell me you are an American and that’s all I need to know.

The Case of the Mysterious Missing Bone Box…

A trunk containing what were believed to be bones of unknown origin was discovered in the water near Ocean City, Maryland yesterday morning. Twenty four hours later I saw a report that the trunk in question had been “misplaced” overnight because of tides and the shifting nature of the sandy bottom into which the trunk was stuck.

Now, I’m not a fancy big city detective or anything but it seems to me that if someone points out where a big box of bones is laying along the shore, you might want to mark it’s location somehow, or you know, maybe put someone in waders to stand there and keep an eye on things overnight. Knowing that it’s in a zone where water moves pretty quickly as the tides cycle, maybe attaching a buoy wouldn’t have been completely out of the question. Sure, it’s a potential crime scene and all, but given that the tides have managed to wash away the primary evidence, it stands to reason there probably isn’t going to be much trace just laying around there waiting for someone to find.

I’m not exactly criticizing whoever is in charge of investigating the Case of the Missing Bone Box, but seriously? Come on.