Know how…

Apparently it’s important to the war effort that I learn how to build a website. Well, “build” might be a bit of a stretch. What I’m “learning” to do is slid pre-scripted widgets around on a pre-approved layout with complete freedom to select border colors and add italics where appropriate. So you can all disabuse yourselves of the notion of me slaving feverishly to churn out fully developed Flash or HTML. What I’m doing is the paint-by-numbers version of website construction. Paint-by-number is fine and certainly has a place, but alot of headaches could have been avoided if someone would have asked me first if I had any experience doing that kind of work. I’m fairly sure putzing around with SharePoint for the last four years, managing a couple of blogs, knowing how to log into Facebook, and being willing to play around with tech until I figure out how to make it work would have probably been sufficient training. Of course none of that comes with a certificate, so it represents unofficial know how. And we certainly wouldn’t want to turn unofficial know how loose on an official network. No good could come from that. Besides, by this time tomorrow I’ll have a fancy new certificate. So there.

Lion…

Like a moth to the flame, I am drawn to yet another newly released Apple product. Thank god a $29.99 download from the App Store won’t break the bank like a new laptop… although the Air updates that they released today look pretty sweet too. Other than blogging, I don’t do enough work on the computer these days to justify any kind of upgrade. Maybe I’ll convince myself next year to spring for a new laptop and ditch the current giant monitor/laptop arrangement… though by then, I’ll be doing even less on the computer than I do now.

At the moment, I’ll be happy just to finish downloading Lion and taking it out for a test drive. I’ll report back if it completely bugs out on me. Otherwise, you can assume it’s another Apple effort that just works.

Under Construction…

We are quite literally “under” construction. The office suite the floor above us is, as far as I can tell, undergoing some type of renovation that requires the repeated dropping of bowling balls onto the bare concrete slab. This activity has the unpleasant side effect of making it sound like the entire second floor could become the first floor at any moment. It’s not bad, as long as you don’t find loud, hollow thumping and continual rending of metal distracting or annoying in any way. Other than that, it’s practically unnoticeable.

I’m probably an idealist, but I’ve always thought this kind of work would be best done outside of “core business hours.” You know, when the vast majority of employees are not making their limited effort at being productive for the day. It’s sort of the same way I look at day-time janitorial service. Sure, having my cube vacuumed is nice and all, but it’s awfully distracting when I’m sitting in it making a phone call or actually trying to get something done. In television shows, the cleaning crews always come at night. Maybe that happens in the executive suite, but for the drones, everyone seems bent on showing up at the most inopportune time.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

He’s off the grid…

I actually met someone this afternoon that doesn’t own a cell phone. Or have a Facebook account. He’s never Tweeted, Skyped, or sent a text message. I didn’t know in 21st century America that such people existed. Apparently they do exist. And not just in Unibomber-style one room cabins in the wilds of Montana. In fact, they do tech support for Uncle Sam.

This also goes a long way towards explaining the problems I have with my office computer. Sigh.

Google+

I’ve gotten quite a few “adds” on Google + over the last week. First, let me say that I’m not ignoring all you other early adopters out there. Yes, I have a Google + account, but no, I’m not actively using it. I feel like I owe you an explanation for that.

Way back in 2010 when I went all in with a hosted website, I selected Google to host my “business” email needs. The Google Apps for Business account gives the average user a fantastic suite of tools to manage an enterprise-style email set up: multiple addresses, analytics, the legendary Google-powered spam filter, and a metric crapload of additional storage. These are all good things and exactly what I wanted for www.jeffreytharp.com.

Along with the goodness that is Google, however, comes the badness. With the beta rollout of Google+, I discovered that Apps/business accounts are not yet supported. Bummer. This means that in order to poke around with Google+ I have to log in with my old “regular” gmail username. Not a big deal, you’d think, but after spending the last year tweaking everything so it’s seamless from desktop to laptop to phone to tablet, the need for a second logon is a huge step backwards.

Technology is supposed to make out lives easier or better in some way. Until Google+ rolls out support for Apps users, though, for me it’s a little like a broken toe. It’s not going to kill me, but it’s enough to be ridiculously annoying every time something touches it. I’m not going to take a step backwards just to be an early adopter. For now Google’s go at a social network doesn’t integrate into my “everything else.” Until it does, I’ll be sticking with Facebook and Twitter… who manage to play nicely with my Google-powered email address. Too bad Google itself can’t seem to do that.

Apparently they’re everywhere…

Do you ever wonder if people really spend any time thinking about what they say before words come tumbling out of their mouths? I’ve known the woman sitting next to me for a grand total of 20-odd days and have already been treated to the complete and unabridged version of her medical history… and her father’s… and her mother’s… and at least one sister. Not only do I not want to hear about your colonoscopy, or your sister’s varicose veins, or your father’s chronic halitosis, but I want you to not want to tell me those things. As much as I appreciate you wanting me to feel like part of the group, there’s a level of sharing with coworkers that I’m just not going to go beyond – and you shouldn’t either. Being realistic, you’ve told me details about your family that I wouldn’t be comfortable telling people I’ve known for 20 years, let alone 20 days.

If someone could stop by and install a cone of silence on my cubicle, that would be perfect. I think it would save us all from a lot of trouble in the long run, because all that’s really going to happen is you’re going to keep telling me things that I don’t want to hear and then I’m going to be forced to post those things on the internet. And that doesn’t seem fair to either of us, really.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Safer…

As part of the mind-numbing process of restoring my status as a citizen of the great State of Maryland, my one year old truck was subjected to a vigorous “safety inspection.” I can’t be the only person that things this is probably overkill for a truck that rolled off the assembly line less than 12 months ago, right? But still, a “senior tech” poked prodded, scanned, and test drove my ride to make sure it was fit for service on the roads. Personally, I assumed that as long as it could roll through the toll booth, Maryland would welcome it. Apparently that was wildly optimistic. Although everything was in good working order, it seems my front window tint offended the sensibilities of the fine men and women of the Maryland General Assembly and in order to pass inspection had to be removed. Fine. Done. Give me my certificate of inspection and I’ll be on the way… and $139.00 lighter in the wallet. That and the $50 bucks its going to cost me to get the tint reapplied. I know I certainly feel safer.

So now, we’re on to the last step in the process. That would be waiting on MVA to let me know they’ve received my titled from Toyota, so I can drive over there, hand over 73 different forms of ID, give them more money to send a title back to Toyota, and walk away with a newly minted license that says I live where I live. If this process wasn’t intentionally designed to be a giant pain in the ass, there is a room full of bureaucrats somewhere in Glen Burnie who have missed their calling.

Telework…

In theory, telework is a brilliant idea. Disaggregating your workforce to hundreds of different locations means your not necessarily subject to a single point of failure that could shut down operations. Power out at the home office? No problem. Half the workforce can log in from home, Starbucks, Nevis, or really any place with an internet connection. It’s the kind of idea that give planners a warm fuzzy when faced with how to prepare for typhoons, earthquakes, or terrorists bent on leveling your building. It’s one of those things that’s probably more brilliant in concept than in reality. On the whole, I tend to think most people generally want to do the right thing most of the time. But how many of your average employees are going to be able to resist the temptations that face them when they’re working from home or some other location – throw in a quick load of laundry, change the baby’s diaper, or making just a quick trip to the supermarket. I mean after all, no one will know you’re gone and you’ll be right back anyway. No harm no foul, right?

As an employee, I love the idea of telework if for no other reason than the very idea that being tethered to a desk eight hours a day equals a productive work week. The technology available has moved us beyond the need for dedicated office space for a great many kinds of work. Human nature being what it is, though, I suspect most people might just be more productive if they have someone looking over their shoulder from time to time… but personally, I’d rather sit at home in my fuzzy slippers and get eight hours of work done in three and call the rest of the day “research.”

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Did you hear that?

I really appreciated your call while I was sitting down to dinner. Yes I actually knew the tornado sirens were going off. I heard them too. It’s a county-wide alert system and we all live in the same county. Plus, you know, that storm system stretched most of the way from the Gulf of Mexico to Canada, so we sort of saw it coming. Since I’m your supervisor and not your mother, it really isn’t necessary for me to know that you and junior are safely tucked in your bathtub under your mattress.

Chalk that up to one of the million and a half things I’m not going to miss about being a supervisor.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Mentor…

I had lunch this afternoon with the guy who I consider my first professional mentor. While there was plenty of talk about what circumstances brought me back to Maryland, but what I really noticed more than anything is how much retirement seems to be agreeing with him. He actually looked rested and not at rumpled in the way that you do when your clothes have spent too much time flying around in the belly of a regional jet. I’ve got to confess that I sort of had him pegged as one of the ones that would come right back as a contractor. Though he always talked about all the things he wanted to do when he hit eject for the last time, I didn’t think he’d actually go that route. Apparently I was mistaken.

With yet another government shutdown/default starting to gin up on the horizon seeing him in actual retirement mode really got me thinking about what, if anything, retirement might look like in Spring 2035. Looking off into that distance from Summer 2011, let’s just go with things don’t look particularly promising. With that sightly depressing thought in mind, I can still safely say that damn it was good to at least see someone from the old gang.