What Annoys Jeff This Week?

1. Fall. It’s not fall specifically, but I do hate that by 2:30 this afternoon there wasn’t even a hint of sun shining in the courtyard at work. I am so not ready for it to be dark when I leave for work and dark when I get home. And fall only serves as reminder of this upcoming unpleasantness.

2. Apple. Again. This week you officially announced that next week you’ll be making an official announcement about the next iPhone. You guys are killing me. Just let me plunk down my money and order the damned thing already. And for the love of God, will you please bring back pre-ordering? I’ll get up hours before the ass crack of dawn to drive 60 miles to the Apple Store if I have to, but please don’t make me.

3. The Federal Hiring Process. I got an email this afternoon letting me know I’d be was in the running for a position I applied for in February. Seriously? It took you seven months to get around to putting the list together, FEMA?

4. Facebook. Your new changes have crushed the number of clicks I’m getting from Facebook to my blog. I hate you for that, but since I’m way too cheap to pay for ads, I’ll eventually figure out a way around you.

5. People who ask for a read receipt on every email. You know who you are and you suck. That is all.

It’s you, not me…

Dear Facebook,

We’ve spent a lot of time together over the last few years. I use to love the way you told me what my friends, family, and random people who found my account were up to on a regular basis. Back then you were friendly and easy to use. Unfortunately, you’ve changed and now I seem to have to spend hours tweaking your settings to get even a bad approximation of what you use to do automatically.

I don’t dig it and as much as you want to call it a feature, it’s really you trying to guess what I think is important rather than just giving me the information and letting me make my own decisions. You’re smothering me, Facebook, and I’m not alright with that. This isn’t easy for me to say, but I think it might be time for us to start seeing other social media. I mean, I still want to be friends and all and we can totally still hook up, but I just can’t rely on you to be my one and only. You’ve broken my heart too many times for that. It’s a shame, because we could have had something real.

So yeah, I really think you just need to spend some time focusing on being the best you possible. You still have so much potential, but I’m afraid you’re trying too hard to overcomplicate the plumbing and you’re going end up like that used up old husk MySpace. Please don’t let it end that way.

If you want to talk, you can always hit up my cellie or look me up on Twitter (jdtharp) or even add me on Google+ (jeffrey.d.tharp). I’ll still look in on you from time to time and I’m totally going to use you to shamelessly plug my other endeavors, so we’ll always have that, right?

Take care,

Jeff

Telework…

Not long ago We received the following message from our Operations office: The facility will remain closed today. By direction of the Uberboss, no one will report to work. Personnel can work from home. Please check Facebook in the morning to find out if we will be open tomorrow.

This is fine, except for two issues. The first and easiest to address is that I’m pretty sure 60% of the people in this office don’t know Facebook from Foosball. It works fine for those of us who aren’t horrified by the very thought of the internet, but for the rest, well, I guess they’ll figure it out when they show up and the lights are off.

The second issue is more telling. Feeling cheeky (imagine that), I asked simply, if “personnel can work from home” means we are authorized to telework. No, came the response from the Uberboss, it means you’re authorized to work from “an alternate workplace. We don’t telework. I don’t believe in telework.” So, yeah, we’re authorized to work from home – as long as we don’t call it telework, apparently. This would be more reassuring if it wasn’t coming from the guy who thinks you need to have paper on your desk to actually qualify as doing work.

Why on earth someone would think that an information age employee needs to be physically located in an office during pre-determined hours is simply beyond me. We don’t create physical products. Our office isn’t open to customers – We’re behind a locked door, behind a security guard, behind a fence toped with razor wire for God’s sake. It’s not like a customer is going to accidentally wander in and discover that none of the project managers were actually there. The fact is we don’t telework because then the Uberboss can’t see us and would actually have to rely on managerial skill to make sure projects were being finished well and on time. Easier to just wander by, ask why there isn’t paperwork on your desk, tell you do do something random and unrelated to your primary function, and wander off to annoy the next employee.

At least I’ll never have to wonder what it’s like living in the 19th century. From where I’m sitting it seems to be filled with a whole bunch of stupid.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of previously de-published blogs appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Location, Location, Location…

Usually, I’m first on the boat when it comes to rolling out new and interesting tech. I’m still on the fence, though with Facebook’s new “location” service (and its cousin Foursquare). As much of a technophile as I am, I’m feeling a certain level of unease with the whole idea of mobile tracking. I mean I’m as much of a Facebook whore as anyone, but wow, that’s some serious self revelation.

Aside from the gee wiz factor, I just don’t know that I’m seeing that much utility here. Maybe if I were a 21 year old bar hopper, but as a typical suburbanite slob, I’m missing it. Tracking is pretty new on the mass consumer side of things and I know it’s been a real revolution in industry, so I’m guardedly optimistic that it will prove to be something just as powerful in the hands of the individual. Until then, I’m glad It’s an opt-in kind of thing.

500 Million…

Facebook has 500 million active users. That’s half a billion unique users per month. For someone whose site rakes in 40-50 unique users on in its busiest month, that’s a staggering number. That’s something like 1/13 of all the people on the planet or a little less than twice the population of the United States. It’s a ridiculously big number. Get it?

Of course it also means that Facebook has become, essentially, a utility… like the phone company. And in tech, there’s nothing sexy about being a utility. That’s what leads to my next question… What’s after Facebook? Growth can’t drive on forever simply given the relatively finite number of people on the planet. Is there a next big thing out there somewhere that early adopters are streaming towards? If there is, I haven’t found it yet. Then again, early adopters can be annoyingly difficult to pin down.

Perhaps a more important question altogether: at what point does government make the determination that a company life Facebook is “too big to fail” or rather “too big to be unregulated.” Like most users, I like my interwebs government free, thanks. But I can easily see a not too distant future when Uncle becomes so concerned about corporate protection of personal data that they start passing helpful laws that “look out” for the people and their privacy. Given the choice between a government that wants to protect my privacy and a company I can opt out of giving information to in the first place, I’ll throw my lot in with the corporate fat cats every time. Sure, a corporation can do some nasty things with your data, but ultimately, if I’m not satisfied with how I’m being treated, I and the other 500 million users can vote with our feet.

I tend to think that people forget that business stays open only through the good graces of the people who purchase their products or services. When enough of those customers are displeased, the business model adapts to the new reality or it is starved either in the consumer marketplace or by displeased shareholders denying it capital. That’s an overly simplistic explanation, of course, but you get the point.

There’s so much of the power of the internet and interconnectivity that remain untested, but I think it’s safe to say that organizing in the cloud is the next logical step in the internet evolution. This milestone for Facebook is a good indication that the world is finally becoming comfortable with tech… if not the bleeding edge, at least the basic consumer type. This is progress. Let’s hope we manage not to derail it by applying 19th century governance to 21st century issues.

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Pulling the plug…

So after a long consideration, I’ve decided that it’s just about time to pull the plug on my MySpace page. I haven’t updated it in months and have only logged on a handful of times since setting up my Facebook page. Even with the minimal content left over at MySpace, I have a feeling that it’s just sort of an unfinished project that has outlived its usefulness. So, consider this your official notice that over the next few days, I’ll be salvaging whatever halfway decent content is left over there and moving it over to Facebook or doing away with it altogether. Don’t be surprised if things come down over the weekend for good. So get your last looks in now, because once it’s gone, baby, it’s gone.

And for those of you who haven’t made the switch or are contemplating it, Facebook has Jeff’s Seal of Approval. There’s no guarantee of any kind associated with that Seal, but I’ll tell you it’s damned good stuff. Hope to see you over there soon.

Discovery…

So, I’ve discovered that without the pain in the ass that was my old job, I really have very little to complain about. Sure, that’s good for me, but it’s completely fouling up my ability to post a blog on a semi-regular basis. I guess some people write about their day to day interactions with people out in the world, but we all know how much I hate being out in the world and being forced to interact with the populace, so that’s not exactly fertile ground for me. You might ask what I’ve been up to now that I don’t spend hours seething about the blundering incompetence at work. I’ve rediscovered actually reading books, which is something I still don’t get to do enough of. I’ve managed to spend a little more quality time killing zombies, so that’s good. Even Winston benefits as I have more time to roll around on the floor with him. Of course all of that makes for perfectly bland blogging, so I’ve spared you the details.

At the instigation of one of my oldest and dearest friends, I’ve even taken my first tentative steps into the world of Facebook. Thanks a lot, Sandi… Another social networking addiction is just what I need. Fortunately, it doesn’t seem to be as labor intensive as MySpace, so hopefully it won’t be too distracting. It also currently has the benefit of not being blocked by our network administrators… yet. So, if you’re on Facebook, look me up.