Tag Archives: cell phone

Don’t go there…

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There are few things that generate a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach as fast as when a coworker randomly decides to pick my phone up off the desk and start poking around. Sure, there’s nothing technically illegal on there, but you’re just going to have to believe me when I say that there are images, files, bookmarks, and texts that would probably make their overly-sensitive eyes bug out of their heads. I’m not particularly easy to embarrass, but there are most assuredly some conversations that I don’t particularly want to have with my colleagues. That’s more to save them from mortification than anything else.

Unfortunately, some people just aren’t as good at picking up on subtlety as they are at picking things up off your desk… Which means you have to look them directly in the eye and tell them to be careful because they are going to end up seeing way more than they bargained for. It’s always fun to see the light slowly flicker on as it dawns on them what you’re talking about. It’s like suddenly your phone heated up to 300 degrees and they can’t get rid of it fast enough. For a minute, I actually thought the nosy coworker in question was actually going to drop it on the spot.

It would probably cost me a new phone at least, but maybe I’ll just let the next one get a good look at the ol’ photo archive. It might just be worth the replacement price and the week long trip to sensitivity training it would be sure to cause.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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And here is your regularly scheduled installment of What Annoys Jeff this Week…

The Federal Hiring Process. I just received an email notice that an agency I applied to work for back in April (yes, that’s 8 months ago), has finally decided that they’re not going to hire for that vacant position. Really? I took some jackwagon eight months to decide that hiring into the teeth of massive budget cuts wouldn’t be a great idea? Brilliant. Give that man a promotion. This has got to be one of the top two or three reasons that people don’t list the federal government as one of their “wishlist” places to work. The process itself makes you question whether you’d want to work there in the first place.

Automatic Faucets. We have faucets at the office that turn on automatically when you hold your hands under them. It’s a neat bit of tech. Unfortunately, now I find myself standing in front of “old fashioned” sinks shaking my hands furiously wondering why the water isn’t flowing. Even though I use automatic doors from time to time, I still seem to be able to let myself in and out of the old fashion kind without any real trouble. You’d think the same basic technology applied so something I use as often as a sink wouldn’t leave me standing around pondering what the problem is on a regular basis.

The National Transportation Safety Board. As a group, Americans can be pretty dense… and we’re at our collective dumbest when we get behind the wheel of a car. I applaud the NTSB for wanting to keep is all safe, but will need them to do a reality check. In 2009 about 6000 people were killed by “distracted” driving. Four times more people die in this country die every year from unintentionally falling down. Falling. Down. Seriously. In terms of the big scary ways to die that are out there, distracted driving doesn’t seem like one that I’ll be spending an inordinate amount of time worried about. Besides, even if I weren’t texting, it’s just as likely that I’d be distracted by changing the radio, scratching my butt, talking to a passenger, or scarfing down a Big Mac. Then again, those are probably the next things the fine deciders at the NTSB will want to ban.

What Annoys Jeff this Week?

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Wannabe Wordsmiths. The written word is a subjective thing. Just because something isn’t written using the same style and manner you would use doesn’t necessarily make it bad, it just makes it different. There are plenty of other legitimate reasons for writing being bad, so let’s focus on stamping those out before we start getting hung up on the stylistic differences, shall we?

Wood Floors. Yep. That one was a surprise to me too. I’ve always wanted them. I wanted to like them. But the truth is they’re cold as blue hell at 5:30 in the morning no matter how warm the rest of the room is, and even worse now that the weather has taken what’s probably it’s final turn towards chilly for the year. And don’t get me started on the enormous hairballs wood floors seem to generate by magic. At least with carpet, the dirt has the common decency to hide until I was ready to do something about it.

Alec Baldwin. Even when I was a smoker, I somehow managed to rein in my addiction for the couple of hours it took to get the jet across the continent. That fact that this asshat was too engrossed in his game of Words with Friends to turn off his phone, well that’s not addiction, that’s just flat out stupidity. If I was king of homeland security, I’d put him on a watch list and never let him within spitting distance of any vehicle that travels faster than Greyhound.

Cell phone cases. How the hell can we launch a probe to the outer edge of the solar system, but can’t seem to come up with a cell phone holder that I don’t destroy in a matter of weeks. I’ve spent more on these damned things than I did on the phone. Then again, that’s probably the point. And that annoys me even more.

Grumble, grumble, grumble.

Service…

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We had a discussion about cell phones this morning. The focus was largely on the atrocious service that we get in the building except on all but one of the major carriers. After several volleys of “mine’s bigger than yours,” a doddering old crow chimed in from across the way that she didn’t really care if she got service in the building because she was here to work and everything else could wait for eight hours. To which my response was, predictably, calling bullocks.

Being good and dedicated to what you do is a fine thing, no doubt. Occasionally some of what we do might actually be important for something other than the sake of appearances. I get that. But try as I might, I just can’t bring myself to think of work as the most important thing I do on a day-to-day basis. And when it comes to missing something important happening in my actual life or something important happening at work, there’s just no contest.

I spent the early part of my career doing it ass backwards because I didn’t get that yet. It was a very unhappy world and I don’t intend to revisit it.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Increment…

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It would be easy enough to climb up on my soapbox and do a hack job of dismissing the iPhone 4S as an incremental upgrade. It would be easy because, let’s face it, that’s exactly what Apple rolled out today. Bump up the processor, tweak the antenna, and roll out a spiffy new version of iOS with a few new capabilities and call it a day. The company will make billions, investors will be happy, and in another year or so another incremental improvement will roll off the line.

Today’s update wasn’t the iPhone I wanted, but it was the one I expected. It’s a nice little upgrade from the one I’ve been carrying around for the last 15 months and It’s the one I’m going to take pains to get my hands on when it shows up October 14th. If this iteration sticks around for a year, the cost breaks down something like $17 a month. I guess that’s not a bad price for an incremental improvement.

That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it’s enough to let Apple dig a little deeper in my wallet. Technology is a painful, painful mistress.

Amish…

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This new job has a lot going for it, not the least of which is putting me 800-odd miles away from a certain batshit crazy senior leader. That’s not to say that there aren’t a few idiosyncrasies around here that I could do without. Until I’m self employed in a company of one, I suspect those are things I’ll just have to resolve to live with though. On balance, it’s been more than a fair trade.

There are a few things, however, that should be called out specifically. The first is that there isn’t a television anywhere in the building. That’s not inherently a bad thing, but I hadn’t realized how much I can come to rely on the quiet ranting of Fox News to help me tune out the random chatter that comes with life in a cube. The second, and perhaps more distressing is the distinct lack of cell service in the building. I’m fortunate to be by a window where I have just enough signal strength to punch out a text message or a tweet. Forget actually receiving a phone call or launching an app, though. This unhappy condition has the unfortunate side effect of leaving me largely at the mercy of whatever “fair use” I can manage with my desktop PC. Since that means I’m using Big Brother’s hardware, it feels like I might as well be Amish eight hours a day.

He’s off the grid…

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I actually met someone this afternoon that doesn’t own a cell phone. Or have a Facebook account. He’s never Tweeted, Skyped, or sent a text message. I didn’t know in 21st century America that such people existed. Apparently they do exist. And not just in Unibomber-style one room cabins in the wilds of Montana. In fact, they do tech support for Uncle Sam.

This also goes a long way towards explaining the problems I have with my office computer. Sigh.

Things you miss when they’re not there…

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I learned two very important lessons today. The first is that I can spend eight hours at work and not have access to a computer and not feel like I’m missing all that much… Especially when the nice lady down the row prints off the important stuff and hand delivers it to me. I can’t say the same thing for working in a place that has some of the worst cell phone coverage in the industrialized world. Seriously. My phone went between one bar, searching, and no coverage randomly throughout the day. And when there was coverage, it wasn’t 3G. Yeah. That slow.

You don’t realize how much you rely on your cellie day-to-day, especially when you have a working computer to keep yourself distracted. When suddenly it’s the only commo you have and it’s not working with any reliability, you find yourself in for a long day. And no, the irony of a massive communication hub being smack dab in the middle of a dead zone isn’t lost on me in the least. That’s just Sam doing his thing.

Tracker…

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There’s been alot of press this week about the iPhone “tracker” file. Sure, if you didn’t know about it, you might be tempted to think of it in terms of an invasion of privacy. But since it’s right there in the Terms of Service, I’m not sure what the fuss is about. If you’re spending alot of time in places where you’d rather not be seen, I’ve got bad news for you… there are already cameras everywhere and your cute mid-twentieth century notion of “privacy” is quaint. How much of your information have you willing posted on Flickr, WordPress, or Facebook? More than you’d think… and generally done with a time and location stamp built right there into the electrons.

Sure, you can keep some things private if you try hard enough. Stop using social media, or really just stop using the internet all together. Hand over your GPS and your cell phone. Cut up your credit cards and your ATM card – although you’ll find it hard to withdraw money from the bank without showing up at a branch and getting yourself on film. Stop going to public places – Big Brother loves watching crowds at places like airports, city centers, and shopping malls. Turn off your TV and maybe even your car with the fancy OnStar system.

The internet is alight with people decrying companies that are trying to “steal” our private information… but they’re not trying to steal anything. We sold it to them bit by bit. We did it for convenience. And maybe some of us did it without even knowing. That’s the price we pay for living in our brave new world. If you think we can roll it back now, you’re deluded – always-on, technology that’s fully integrated into our lives has seen to that. The best any of us can do is embrace the public nature of our private lives, learn the new rules, and make sure that we are the best advocate for our online selves.

Storm…

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This is beginning to feel like a blog that should titled “Jeff Drools Over New Cell Phones,” but there’s another new Blackberry coming out tomorrow. Moving away from the company’s venerable position as the QWERTY king, the Storm is a full touch screen affair that just looks absolutely slick. Of course this model is a Verizon exclusive and I’ve been spending all week telling myself that having phones on the two largest networks in the country is not a good enough reason to pay two $100+ cell phone bills a month… Or is it?

The Bold is hands down the best device I’ve ever owned and other than the standard Blackberry memory leak, I don’t have any performance complaints. The Storm is a horse of a different color though and oh, so tempting. I still have two weeks to return the Bold and I’m seriously thinking about picking up the Storm and running them side by side and then keeping one I like best. Really, this is like some kind of nerdy sickness.