Author Archives: jdtharp

What Annoys Jeff this Week…

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1. Waiting. Whoever said “patience is a virtue” was a tool who clearly didn’t have enough going on to keep him occupied. I don’t see the problem with wanting what I want, when I want it. We all know some things don’t happen overnight, but that isn’t any reason we have to pretend that we like it.

2. Cluelessness. When I’m focusing on my computer screen, the sandwich I brought for lunch, or something else on my desk, and don’t seem to be paying much attention to what you’re saying, it’s a fair assumption that I’m not looking for an in depth conversation. State your business and move on. Do not stop and tell me Parts 63-77 of your life story. Get a clue.

3. Opinions. Yep, they’re like assholes. We’ve all got at least one. Please do not assume yours are facts unless you have supporting evidence to substantiate your claim. In the absence of supporting evidence, I’m just going to think you’re a moron.

4. Aging. When I read that Steve Jobs was 56, my first thought was “Damn, he wasn’t even old.” That was the first time I really consciously recognized that I’m easing in the general direction of early middle age. Apparently in my mind people in their 50s have stopped being ancient. I’m not ok with the implication that has.

5. Helpdesks. Taking three weeks to get someone networked to a printer is not, by definition, “helpful.” Now if their name was Pain-in-the-Ass-desk, I’d let it slide. There should at least be a grain of truth in what we call things.

And that’s what annoys Jeff this week.

Overkill…

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Everyone likes to feel like they are an important part of what’s going on around them. Even though most people wouldn’t be missed much if they spun off into oblivion, organizations everywhere help mollify their workforce by engaging in the ridiculous pantomime of holding “town hall” meetings where everyone troops into the auditorium and tries not to look too bored as executives click through several dozen slides that someone made for them. Then they open the floor for a handful of delusory questions, give the shiny happy answer, and close the meeting because 99 times out of 100 no one in the room wants to ask what’s really on their mind. Most of us leave with no more information than we had when we showed up, but at least marched an hour or two closer to the end of the day. That’s a mercy at least.

Of course it’s only a small mercy if it’s not a two hour town hall scheduled to start an hour before most of your employees are supposed to be heading home. There’s also a good chance that if it’s the third “mandatory” meeting in the last four weeks to cover the same general set of topics and it’s just being presented by a different talking head, it could be overkill. As good an idea as these meetings were when they were held by our sainted forefathers in New England, they’ve lost a little of their zip. Maybe it’s time to get out the ol’ thinking cap and come up with a better way to engage the people.

Of course if you’re not actually looking for input from anyone, then feel free to disregard this idea in its entirety.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Increment…

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It would be easy enough to climb up on my soapbox and do a hack job of dismissing the iPhone 4S as an incremental upgrade. It would be easy because, let’s face it, that’s exactly what Apple rolled out today. Bump up the processor, tweak the antenna, and roll out a spiffy new version of iOS with a few new capabilities and call it a day. The company will make billions, investors will be happy, and in another year or so another incremental improvement will roll off the line.

Today’s update wasn’t the iPhone I wanted, but it was the one I expected. It’s a nice little upgrade from the one I’ve been carrying around for the last 15 months and It’s the one I’m going to take pains to get my hands on when it shows up October 14th. If this iteration sticks around for a year, the cost breaks down something like $17 a month. I guess that’s not a bad price for an incremental improvement.

That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it’s enough to let Apple dig a little deeper in my wallet. Technology is a painful, painful mistress.

Disappearing act…

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Reading blogs can give us a window into what someone half a world away is thinking about. It’s fascinating in its way. It’s not without its problems, though. One that’s been troubling me lately are the blogs that have been around for years that suddenly just disappear. It’s frustrating because you’re invested in the story the author is telling and when it goes away it’s like you’ve been cheated out of learning how the story ends. For some of them, the troubled ones, you wonder if they finally found peace in their writing or if the end of their blog means something more ominous. Because the can be such a transient place of broken links and bad URLs, I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that some pages just up and vanish.

Still, it’s disturbing in its own way, because it represents years of work gone in some cases. I think the thing that bothers me most is the not knowing. Did the author just decide it was time to move on or did something horrendous happen? Maybe the only thing any of us are doing here on the internet is building a monument to our own electronic egos, but now that I’m closing in on 500 posts, I’d like to at least think that I’ve put together something permanent here – a record of what, at any moment in time, mattered to one person. If I decided to stop writing, I mean, geez, I’d at least leave a note or something.

In the files…

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There’s generally a right way and a wrong way to do everything. I’ve found that as a rule, we don’t like to do things the right way until we have exhausted all possible alternative courses of action. In either situation, it’s almost always helpful to know at least a little something about whatever it is you happen to be working on. That’s why I instinctively flinch when I get an email that says something like this:

Jeff,

We have to have a point of contact for XYZ Project. I’m not really sure what it’s all about, but we just need to have a name listed in case anyone comes along and asks who the point of contact is. They’ll probably just put your name on the sheet and stick it in the file.

Thanks,

Bossman

Now I don’t mind wandering out into the tall grass when I need to, but just randomly putting us on the hook for things no one understands doesn’t seem like a best business practice. Maybe it would be a better idea to, you know, actually have someone look into this project a bit. But, hey, I’m not the boss, so that falls deeply into the category of not my problem. At least until someone drops by and starts asking questions.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Score…

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One of the unforeseen perks of moving this summer and forgoing my usual spring trip was the recent discovery of an almost 70-hour balance of vacation time that I have to take between now and the end of the year. Of course it could also have something to do with needing to take way few Mental Health Mondays too. Whatever the case, if it all gets approved as requested, the last few months of the year are looking like a bonanza of 3-, 4-, and 5-day weekends. Maybe it’s not sitting on a beach somewhere, but it’s a definite score. The Annual Burning of the Leave begins Friday.

What Annoys Jeff This Week?

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1. Fall. It’s not fall specifically, but I do hate that by 2:30 this afternoon there wasn’t even a hint of sun shining in the courtyard at work. I am so not ready for it to be dark when I leave for work and dark when I get home. And fall only serves as reminder of this upcoming unpleasantness.

2. Apple. Again. This week you officially announced that next week you’ll be making an official announcement about the next iPhone. You guys are killing me. Just let me plunk down my money and order the damned thing already. And for the love of God, will you please bring back pre-ordering? I’ll get up hours before the ass crack of dawn to drive 60 miles to the Apple Store if I have to, but please don’t make me.

3. The Federal Hiring Process. I got an email this afternoon letting me know I’d be was in the running for a position I applied for in February. Seriously? It took you seven months to get around to putting the list together, FEMA?

4. Facebook. Your new changes have crushed the number of clicks I’m getting from Facebook to my blog. I hate you for that, but since I’m way too cheap to pay for ads, I’ll eventually figure out a way around you.

5. People who ask for a read receipt on every email. You know who you are and you suck. That is all.

Type…

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As a technology organization, there are a few things that should pretty much always work. I’m past belaboring the importance of keeping the network up and running, though. The things that you need to focus on are apparently more basic. Like a keyboard that doesn’t drop every fourth or fifth letter while you’re typing.

Without this pretty standard piece of kit, you end up with sentences like “Norma people souldn’t be expected to wrk under thse conditions.” Which is all well and good until you actually start working on something, you know, that needs to get done in a reasonable amount of time. So now instead of actually being productive, I get to put on the editor hat and spend the day correcting everything that I’ve written. I shudder to think what tidbits got past me before someone bothered to point out that I was writing like a small retarded child.

I don’t know why I still hold out hope that someday basic office equipment issued by my employer will actually works as specified. Personally, I’d rather pony up my own equipment and have something I knew would work than continue to bend my spear on the underpowered and ill-repaired hand-me-downs we subsist on. Honest to God, this isn’t work, it’s just the vague illusion of being busy.

Editorial Note: This part of a continuing series of posts previously available on a now defunct website. They are appearing on http://www.jeffreytharp.com for the first time. This post has been time stamped to correspond to its original publication date.

Kindle…

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I have a Kindle app on my iPad, I have a Kindle app on my iPhone, I even have a two month old Kindle sitting in the living room on the table beside my big comfy chair. Despite all logic to the contrary, I still find myself looking at the new and improved Kindles trying to convolute logic just enough to justify buying a new one. It’s obvious that I absolutely, positively don’t need one. It’s even more obvious when I admit that even though I have an actual Kindle, I use my iPad for 90% of the reading I do. So, yeah, I’m going to do my best to resist the temptation to run out and spend $150 on a new device that’s mostly just going to sit around. Especially since in another few weeks I’ll be hot on the trail of the latest and greatest iPhone.

Sigh. It’s sad that there’s so much tech and so little time. The new Kindles do look slick, though. If anyone is picking one up, let me know how it handles. Maybe you can give me the nudge I need to sell my lightly used current model at a deep discount. Come on. Be an enabler. You know you want to.